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- 1+ 4,334- 1,534I don't have to tell you what this movie is about (it's easily one of the best stoner movies of all time) and you know exactly what scene I'm talking about. If you don't, then here it is. That's Phoebe Cates.
She's married to Kevin Klein, looks like this now, and is one of the hottest, if not the hottest girl the '80s had to offer. And she took her clothes off every chance she got, all over the place, non-stop. The 80s were a great place to live because everything was exactly ten million times cheesier since self-awareness hadn't been invented yet.
And, to repeat, Phoebe Cates in her teens/20s was one of the greatest parts of the '80s.
She tops every one of these lists and with great reason. The mix of innocence and mischief in her eyes in every scene just steals the entire movie every time. I'm now, of course, creeping myself out, but
I love you, Phoebe, if you're reading this. And if you are reading this, I want to thank you for your service to mankind in the '80s (and whatever charity work you're probably doing these days) because if it weren't for you, I wouldn't have a quick, no-thoughts-required answer for when a girlfriend asks for swimsuit input: "red just make it red it needs to be red I don't care if it's from Target just red no designs just as long as it's red please thank you."
BONUS: A super hot, full frontal Jennifer Jason Leigh scene where she's making out with the guy who then disappoints her as she sits up all hot and bothered, still naked, and disappointed. A scene I think we can all relate to.
- 2+ 1,430- 828The Movie
Porky's is about a group of guys in the '50s who want to lose their virginities in a time in which guys not only admitted that they were virgins, but tried to fix that problem "together."
There's a place called Porky's, though, where a lot of the hot girls hang out and where a lot of the main characters are terrorized by the mean, fat, pig-looking owner named, you guessed it, Porky. As these guys awkwardly try and come up with plans to "get laid", you get a pretty heavy smattering of classic, unnecessary, gratuitous '80s nudity in between seemingly interminable expository scenes. So, of course, you rewind the tape until your parents know exactly what you're doing. There's no reason someone should be rewinding and playing a tape that often and that quickly unless they're trying to solve the mystery of the Kennedy assassination.
The infamous Porky's shower scene features a bunch of guys finding a hole that leads to the girls' locker room, and kind of how you hope for every time there's a hole in a wall of any bathroom, there were actually sexually attractive people on the other end.
Full frontal and backal (which yes, is a word, according to me) nudity ensues and a lot of teenagers and kids even younger than that in the '80s saw their first entire human boob and/or group of women showering together. Many more would follow for all of us.
The notable part of this scene is that it was the first gratuitous nudity most people had seen in a really popular comedy (which, as a film, dragged on for way too long wasn't even very funny). The whole thing was really just a vehicle for nudity and for a bunch of weird dads to take their sons to see a movie clearly intended for adults. This movie is at all memorable mostly because of that weirdly rapey iconic nude scene and also because of the rest of its awesome, not-as-rapey nude scenes (including one starring a young Kim Cattrall, who only gets hotter as she gets older).
This movie was largely nudity masked in "fun", which was an awesome discovery for anyone who saw it and had the patience to deal with its pace. It's kind of like when you pour alcohol inside a juice box or a Vitamin water and bring it into your kids' plays or Disneyland or something. All of you do this.
- 3+ 1,168- 673The Movie
If there's one thing '80s movies taught kids, it's that if you invade a girl's privacy or sneak a peak of her squishy parts while she isn't looking, it is perfectly okay if you're with your friends. Squishy parts. Remember that one. It's yours now.
So Revenge of the Nerds, for those of you who were born after most of the actors' careers had taken a nosedive, is a movie that takes place in a time in which kids were stratified: you were either a "jock" or a "nerd" or part of about maybe three or four other groups and that is who you hung out with every day. The end.
Nerds looked like your grandpa when he tries to dress up nice and jocks hated the idea of being "smart." Nobody was happy.
In the movie, the outcasts known as "Nerds" take revenge on their jock bullies and actually win over the hearts and minds of young women, etc. The idea of the whole thing was so ridiculous at the time that it was kind of a high concept movie when it came out.
Anyway, there's a scene where the nerds sneak into the dorms inhabited by some pretty ladies well "out of their league" by society's standards and proceeded to set up hidden cameras to see them change, which is insanely rape-y and horrible by today's standards, but is more of a "boys will be boys" thing to do when you live in an 80s movie.
The scene is one of the most surprising turns that a comedy like this ever took because you really didn't come to expect it from a movie like this. Hell, you didn't really come to expect it from any comedies until around this time in the 80s. There must have been so many outraged parents returning video tapes and yelling at the clerks <--- sh*t like this is why Kevin Smith is famous.
Here's the scene.
- 4+ 1,083- 638The Movie:
I could not have watched this movie more as a kid. And if I had managed that, I'm sure my parents would have sent me to some kind of psychiatrist (which, in retrospect, would have been a good decision, which means that yes, all kids should watch this movie at least 50 times).
The movie is about a pre-Scientology Tom Cruise as a teenager who tries to have some fun while his parents are away. Everything is prim and proper and perfect in his home, but as soon as they leave, you get that infamous scene of him dancing in his underwear indoors pretending to be a rockstar, which to some kids, will resonate more if I say "like that Heidi Klum Guitar Hero (RIP) commercial where she dances in her underwear in a living room.
He proceeds to meet this vaguely Russian woman, played by an at-the-time-still-relevant Rebecca De Mornay, who treats him like crap, but has sex with him throughout the entire movie. She's the one you see naked all over the place the entire time. They make it seem so cool that it kinda makes you want a dangerous, unstable, emotionally unavailable blonde woman of your very own. Wait what? Oh my god. This explains a lot. (This explains a lot.) But life-changing revelations aside, the scenes are pretty awesome. Repeatedly. All the time. The train scene (where they have sex on a train) is particularly something that was etched into my brain as a wee lad, because I couldn't believe how poorly maintained the lights were on that thing. It was very irresponsible.
Check it out here.
- 5+ 743- 422The Movie
A 1%er (Dan Aykroyd) trades places with a homeless guy (Eddie Murphy) trade places because two rich old guys make a bet about how it will turn out. Hilarity ensues, and Jamie Lee Curtis takes her top off.
Jamie Lee Curtis plays a prostitute who seems smarter than any other woman in the movie. She lets Dan Aykroyd stay at her place in exchange for, you guessed it, money once he's rich again. The scene where she's changing and casually walks around topless showed everyone that at some point, Jamie Lee Curtis was super hot. Even with that hair.
Check it out here.
- 6+ 774- 445The Movie
A Tom Hanks movie where a bunch of rowdy 80s dudes throw their best friend a bachelor party. It seriously is one of the top 10 movie parties I wish I could have been to.
Tom Hanks tries to get away from all the rowdy dudes when Monique Gabrielle comes out from behind curtains topless. And as she looks at him, her head turns into his girlfriend, a nun from school, and eventually, his buddies. It's actually pretty funny. And hey, nudity the whole time.
Here's the scene.
- 7+ 941- 565The Movie
Phoebe Cates tries to score a really WASPy rich dude while this one girl teases everyone in the movie. Shower scenes happen.
Some more dudes spy on a girl when she thinks she's safe and take pictures with the flash turned off. They use a polaroid, which was common then, but today would be a hipster thing to do. She notices them in the mirror and decides to give them a show until they pull her towel off. Weirdly, nobody gets arrested and the girls aren't even super freaked out or anything, but actually kind of happy about it for some reason. Phoebe Cates is in her underwear throughout.
The female lead in the movie is former Betsy Russell who spends the whole time teasing dudes. She also rides a horse topless while older women shoot her disapproving looks. People then go nuts as there are apparently, once again, no nudity laws in public in the 80s.
Why not check it out here.
- 8+ 1,096- 684The Movie
This movie has all of the tropes of a teen comedy, but happens to center around a clumsy guy trying to bang a young Kelly Preston, so pretty much everyone's on board from the beginning. Because a young Kelly Preston is stupid hot. Like, stupid hot.
A young Kelly Preston is in lace lingerie ('80s lingerie is so weird) while the guy slowly undresses her. He takes off her bra, and you can seriously hear a football stadium full of dudes just cheering their asses off. She pulls off her underwear and boom, full frontal Kelly Preston, who then lies down and makes out with the guy for a few minutes. They have sex and it's awesome. He promises to "pull out", then doesn't; but whatever, it's the '80s so it wasn't a big deal, if the rest of this list has taught us all anything.
Watch it here.