- 6Up 89Down 33The MovieBUY @ AMAZON
Phoebe Cates tries to score a really WASPy rich dude while a super hot girl teases everyone in the movie. Shower scenes happen.
The Scene(s): Some more dudes spy on a girl when she thinks she's safe and take pictures with the flash turned off. They use a polaroid which was common then, but today would be a hipster thing to do. She notices them in the mirror and decides to give them a show until they pull her towel off. The girls aren't super freaked out, but kind of happy about it for some reason. Phoebe Cates is in her underwear throughout.
The main hot girl in the movie is former hottie Betsy Russell who spends the whole time teasing dudes. She also rides a horse topless in the movie. Old ladies disapprove. People go nuts and there are apparently, once again, no nudity laws in public in the 80s.
Why not check it out here.
- 7Up 96Down 43The MovieBUY @ AMAZON
Porky's is about a group of guys in the 50s who want to lose their virginities in a time in which guys not only admitted that they were virgins, but tried to fix that problem "together". There's a place called Porky's, though, where a lot of the hot girls are and a lot of the main characters are terrorized by the mean, fat, pig-looking owner named, you guessed it, Porky. As these guys awkwardly try and come up with plans to get laid a lot of nudity happens and you get bored when it stops. Then you rewind the tape until your parents know exactly what you're doing. There's no reason someone should be rewinding and playing a tape that often and that quickly unless they're trying to solve the mystery of the Kennedy assassination.
The infamous Porky's shower scene. A bunch of guys find a hole that leads to the girls' locker room and kind of like you hope for every time there's a hole in a wall of any bathroom stall, there's actually hot chicks on the other end. Full frontal and backal (which yes, is a word, according to me) nudity ensues and a lot of teenagers and kids even younger than that in the 80s saw their first bush, boob and/or group of women showering together. Many more would follow for all of us.
The notable part of this scene is that it was the first gratuitous nudity most people had seen in a really popular comedy (which actually dragged on for pretty long and wasn't even very funny). It was really just a huge mask for nudity. This movie is huge because of this scene and because the rest of its awesome nude scenes (including one starring a young Kim Cattrall, who only gets hotter as she gets older).
This movie was largely nudity masked in fun, which was an awesome discovery for anyone who saw it. It's kind of like when you pour alcohol inside a juice box or a Vitamin water and bring it into your kids' plays or Disneyland. All of you do this.
Here it is.
- 8Up 66Down 29The MovieBUY @ AMAZON
A Tom Hanks movie where a bunch of rowdy 80s dudes throw their best friend a bachelor party. It seriously is one of the top 10 movie parties I wish I could have been to.
Tom Hanks tries to get away from all the rowdy dudes when a hot girl, Monique Gabrielle, comes out from behind curtains with a ridiculously perfect body. She's topless and as she looks at him her head turns into his girlfriend, a nun from school and eventually his buddies. It's actually pretty funny. But hey, boobs the whole time.
Here's the scene.
- 9Up 54Down 22The MovieBUY @ AMAZON
A 1%er (Dan Aykroyd) trades places with a homeless guy (Eddie Murphy) trade places because two rich old guys make a bet about how it will turn out. Hilarity ensues and Jamie Lee Curtis takes her top off.
Jamie Lee Curtis plays a prostitute who seems smarter than any other woman in the movie. She lets Dan Aykroyd stay at her place in exchange for, you guessed it, money once he's rich again. The scene where she's changing and casually walks around topless showed everyone that at some point, Jamie Lee Curtis was super hot. Even with that hair.
Check it out here.
- 10Up 47Down 23The MovieBUY @ AMAZON
Blue Lagoon is a movie starring Brooke Shields, who you might know about more recently as someone who had trouble loving her kids like a decade ago or as the star of that Sex and the City ripoff "Lipstick Jungle", which really sounds more like a weird dog-sex island. That was dark. Moving on, she got naked when she was 12 in one of the most controversial nude scenes in film history in a movie called Pretty Baby (which later had to be cut because it was apparently pretty porny and gross). Which I guess is also pretty dark. Keeping in line with the rest of her career, though, she made Blue Lagoon when she was like 15... ish? She was born in 65 and the movie came out in 80, so do that math.
Luckily, the pedophiles in Hollywood smartened up and used body doubles for her this time.
The actual plot of the movie is that some rich white people get shipwrecked and two of their kids (who aren't related) have to raise themselves from the age of, like, 5. They start growing things in weird places and things get awkward and kinky until they have a kid. They look at each other the whole time like they're on E and then the movie ends.
She pretty much spends the entire movie naked, topless or barely wearing anything, which makes this movie super hot when you're 9 and imagine yourself living in an island with a naked chick for your entire life. It definitely made going to the beach with your family more... challenging.
One of the only times you actually see a boob it's a body double, but if you're a kid and watching this you don't know about the magic of movie boobs. It's weird because it's when he takes her to a rock and washes her boob for her as she looks at him, once again, like they're both on E. It's going to really do wonders for whichever 80s child becomes Brooke Shields' nurse when she's super old and needs sponge baths. Hopefully that happens for someone somewhere *gazes at the stars*.
Enjoy the scene.
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