- 1Up 519Down 197I don't have to tell you what this movie is about (it's easily one of the Best Stoner Movies of All Time) and you know exactly what scene I'm talking about. If you don't, then here it is. That's Phoebe Cates.BUY @ amazon
She's married to Kevin Klein, looks like this now and is one of the hottest, if not the hottest girl the 80s had to offer. And she took her clothes off all over the place. The 80s was a great place to live -- everything was cheesier, from the most ridiculous WWF wrestling promos ever (and these were supposed to be tough guys), to pictures of Michael Jackson punching Mr. T, to even cartoon theme songs that make great guitar solos.
But Phoebe Cates in her teens/20s was one of the greatest parts of the 80s, and this is still considered one of the most ruined orgasm scenes of all time.
She tops every one of these lists and with great reason. The mix of innocence and mischief in her eyes in every scene just steals the entire movie. She's always the main picture of stuff like video round-ups of hot girls getting out of pools and the like. And she deserves it.
I love you Phoebe, if you're reading this. And if you are reading this, I want to thank you for your service to mankind in the 80s (and whatever charity work you're doing these days) because if it weren't for you I wouldn't have a quick, no-thoughts-required answer for when a girlfriend asks for swimsuit input: "red just make it red it needs to be red I don't care if it's from Target just red no designs just as long as it's red please". Thank you.
Here's the scene. The glorious, glorious scene.
BONUS: A super hot, full frontal Jennifer Jason Leigh scene where she's making out with the guy who then disappoints her as she sits up all hot and bothered, still naked, and disappointed. A scene I think we can all relate to.
- 2Up 130Down 56The MovieBUY @ amazon
This movie has all of the tropes of a teen comedy, but happens to center around a clumsy guy trying to bang Kelly Preston, so pretty much everyone's on board from the beginning. Because a young Kelly Preston is stupid hot. Like, stupid hot.
A young Kelly Preston is in lace lingerie (80s lingerie is so weird) while the guy slowly undresses her. He takes off her bra and you can seriously hear a football stadium full of dudes just cheering their asses off. She pulls off her underwear and boom, full frontal Kelly Preston who then lies down and makes out with the guy for a few minutes. They then have sex and it's awesome. He promises to pull out then doesn't but whatever it's the 80s so it wasn't a big deal.
Watch it here.
- 3Up 105Down 43The Movie:BUY @ amazon
I could not have watched this movie more as a kid. If I would have I'm sure my parents would have sent me to some kind of psychiatrist (which, in retrospect, would have been a good decision which means that yes, all kids should watch this movie at least 50 times *sobbing* "No dad I don't want to see it again!" "This is for your own good, junior...").
The movie is about a pre-Scientology Tom Cruise as a teenager who tries to have some fun while his parents are away. Everything is prim and proper and perfect in his home, but as soon as they leave, you get that infamous scene of him dancing in his underwear indoors pretending to be a rockstar, which to some kids will resonate more if I say "like that Heidi Klum Guitar Hero (RIP) commercial where she dances in her underwear in a living room.
He proceeds to meet this vaguely Russian woman, played by a still-relevant Rebecca De Mornay, who treats him like crap but has sex with him throughout the entire movie. She's the one you see naked all over the place and it is awesome. It makes you want a dangerous, emotionally unavailable blonde woman of your very own... wait. This explains a lot. This explains a lot. But life changing revelations aside, the scenes are pretty awesome. Repeatedly. All the time. The train scene (where they have sex on a train) is particularly something that was etched into my brain as a wee lad because I couldn't believe how poorly maintained the lights were on that thing. That's just irresponsible. (Proving that nude scenes don't need to be funny all the time.)
Check it out here.
- 4Up 89Down 34
Revenge of the Nerds - Kyle NewmanThe MovieBUY @ amazon
If there's one thing 80s movies taught kids, it's that if you invade a girl's privacy or sneak a peak of her squishy parts while she isn't looking it is perfectly okay if you're with your friends. Squishy parts. Remember that one. It's yours now.
So Revenge of the Nerds, for those of you who were born after most of the actors' careers had taken a nosedive, is a movie that takes place in a time in which kids were stratified. It's before jocks tried to claim being nerds to seem bangable to girls and it's before nerds were more popular than jocks since they're pretty good looking these days anyway. Nerds looked like your grandpa when he tries to dress up nice and jocks hated the idea of being "smart". Nobody was happy.
In the movie the outcasts known as "Nerds" take revenge on their jock bullies and actually win girls, etc. The concept was so ridiculous at the time that it was a kind of high concept when the movie came out.
Anyway, there's a scene where the nerds sneak into the dorms of some super hot girls and set up hidden cameras to see them change, which is insanely rape-y and horrible by today's standards, but is more of a "boys will be boys" thing to do when you live in an 80s movie.
This scene is one of the most surprising turns that a comedy like this ever took because you really didn't come to expect it from a movie like this. Hell, you didn't really come to expect it from any comedies until around this time in the 80s. There must have been so many outraged parents returning video tapes and yelling at dudes who didn't approve of the films they were renting <--- sh*t like this is why Kevin Smith is famous.
Here's the scene.
- 5Up 59Down 16The MovieBUY @ amazon
Blame It On Rio is about two really f*cking horrible guys who bring their insanely hot daughters (a young Demi Moore and Michelle Johnson) on a vacation to Rio de Janeiro with them. After they catch their daughters playing topless in the ocean, one dad gets super pissed and the other plays with them, ends up banging his friend's daughter -- which is okay because it turns out his friend was banging his wife the whole time. Demi Moore kind of stays out of the whole thing. The hot girl (Michelle Johnson) tries to kill herself by overdosing on birth control (which you can't even do) and everyone lives happily ever after.
A barely legal Michelle Johnson and a 22 year old Demi Moore play on a beach topless and are then caught by their dads, but refuse to put their clothes back on. Whoever wrote this has some weird, awesome problems.
Check it out here.
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