The 20 Greatest Simpsons Religion Jokes Anything

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The 20 Greatest Simpsons Religion Jokes

Robert Wabash Robert Wabash 154,659 views 19 items
The longest-running animated show in the history of television has always had a tradition of sticking it to organized religion. It's shows like The Simpsons that have enough of a cultural impact to be able to satirize and bring to light some of the most important issues we face today. So, in all their poignant glory, here are all the greatest, funniest and most memorable anti-religion jokes in The Simpsons' 23 year history as one of the best shows on television.
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  1. 1

    Superintendent Chalmers

  2. 2

    The Church Signs



    Throughout Simpsons history, establishing shots outside of a scene in the church have featured the church sign. Every church sign's marketing copy is another chance for the writers to poke a little fun at the institution of the church or just to have fun at what might be some inappropriate things to post at a church.

    Here's what was featured on some of the most notable church signs in Simpsons history:


    God, the original love connection
    Every Sunday is super Sunday
    Today: what a f iend we have in God, Also: the Be sharps
    Private Wedding, Please worship elsewhere
    No Shoes, No Shorts, No Salvation
    God welcomes his victims
    No synagogue parking
    Next Sunday: the miracle of shame
    Christ Dyed Eggs For Your Sins
    Todays Topic: There's Something About the Virgin Mary
    If You Were a Pastor, You'd Be Home Now!
    Welcome Pissed-Off Catholics
    No Outside Eucharist
    God: The Original Tony Soprano
    Housewarming Party: Let There Be Light Beer
    We Welcome Other Faiths (Just Kidding)
    Rapture Threat Level: ORANGE
    Today: Bobble-Head Moses Giveaway
    QUIT ST3ALING OUR L3TT3RS
    Christmas Service Jesus: 2005 Years Young
    Today's Topic: Jesus Hates You
    Today: Church Council Meeting Topic: Religion
    Funeral Today: Homer Simpson's Vegas Wife
    Thou Shalt Turn Off They Cell Phone
    Today's Topic: Jesus The Real American Idol
    Shadrach, The Other Friend of Meshach
    Free Wi-Fi During Sermon
    Get Your Ass In Here, Tim
    Tomorrow: Bart's Funeral
    "today's subject is hell. " "would you eventually get used to it like in a hot tub? Are there any pirates in hell?"

  3. 3

    The Creationism Episode

    This entire episode is a gem. For an 11-minute version of the entire episode, click here. As you can see from those clips, the bulk of the episode is joke after joke after satire after mockery of Creationism.

    Little by little the episode tears away at any logic that is usually associated with Creationism and exposes every facet of the argument against evolution and the religious right's attempts to hide the science from the world. Masterfully done in a pointed, biting, yet still hilarious and not aggressive fashion at all.

    The entire thing starts with this wonderful scene of Ned Flanders taking his two sons, whom he raises as very far right fundamentalist Christians, to a museum only to find it filled with nothing but scientific relics of history.




    And the rest of the episode gets even better. This episode, as a whole, is one of the greatest criticisms of Creationism in television history.

  4. 4

    Good Thing We Came To Our Senses

  5. 5

    We're Visiting Grandpa



    For the full episode: click here.

items 1 - 5 of 19

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  1. Keren Malaney
    The 20 Greatest Simpsons Religion Jokes at 2/14/2013 2:30 PM
    Simpsons Religious Jokes . ha.
  2. gareth
    Whenever Homer Misquotes or Dismisses The Bible at 5/16/2012 3:31 AM
    [When Homer becomes an inadvertent missionary to a tribe and wants to eat all the food] "Yes, but doesn't the Bible also say ``Thou shalt not take... moochers into thy... hut''?

    This was in the episode where Otto moved in with The Simpsons, not the Missionary episode.
  3. Gareth
    Homer Makes a Bomb at 5/16/2012 3:29 AM
    That just didn't happen. That scene had nothing to do with evolution, it was about the phone codes.
  4. drew
    The 20 Greatest Simpsons Religion Jokes at 2/11/2012 12:03 AM
    What about the hurricane episode? Flanders, referring to his nativity scene says " We better lock up baby Jesus, if he got loose he could cause a lot of damage" or words to that effect.
  5. Wallace
    The 20 Greatest Simpsons Religion Jokes at 2/09/2012 1:23 PM
    'The Ranker' is pretty Jewy.
  6. Helder
    The 20 Greatest Simpsons Religion Jokes at 2/09/2012 11:25 AM
    #16 Flanders actually screams and calls himself a murderer because he kills Maude's favourite plant. The purple drapes scream was from the episode where Marge sells them that murder house.

    Yeah I've seen the Simpsons too many times
  7. JWW81
    The 20 Greatest Simpsons Religion Jokes at 2/09/2012 11:24 AM
    If they continually bash something that they don't even believe in, they certainly must be morons. I don't believe in Santa Claus or Zombies, therefore I don't spend every waking moment figuring out ways to criticize and look down upon those that do believe in them. It shows a complete lack of class and an overabundance of douchiness. This show has been on a steady downward spiral for years. The quality of the episodes has rapidly declined, as it seems the writers ran out of ideas in 1998. Used to be my favorite show, now I can't sit through 5 minutes of this tripe. Pull the trigger and put it out of it's misery already.....
    1. Nostrum
      The 20 Greatest Simpsons Religion Jokes at 5/01/2012 2:59 PM
      Uh oh, someone got their Jesus knickers in a knot. Nice red herring you present, but, of course, Christians only have logical fallacies to support their nonsense. The difference is that people actually believe in this nonsense and there is an entire industry, Christer, Inc., that not only profits from your stupidity but influences politics and education. The gaps your god filled are getting increasingly smaller.

      Look at the most interesting theological question. Every of the one million historical gods, including yours, got credit for making the sun come and go. Your's even claimed that Yeahnoway made the sun stop in the sky. Haha. You idiots then persecuted and imprisoned a scientist who had the audacity to illustrate how much nonsense your religion is. Whoops. Nope. No god there.

      Any clown who still believes in Zombie Jews and Demons in the 21st Century, an idiotic Flintstones in a Jetson's world, deserves every bit of mockery and derision they invite upon themselves.
  8. eatmyshorts
    The 20 Greatest Simpsons Religion Jokes at 2/09/2012 11:08 AM
    #15 is contrived from stills from the area code dispute episode.

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