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The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes By analise.dubner [232 more lists]
Really, there are so many more than 25, but my fingers are tired. Plus, this list should really just be called MY favorite Simpsons Quotes, and even then... still not right (see: first sentence).
- 1
"To alcohol! The cause of - and the solution to - all life's problems!"
“ Homer „ - 2
"Just once I'd like someone to call me 'Sir' without adding 'You're making a scene.'"
“ Homer „ - 3
"English, who needs that? I'm never going to England"
“ Homer „ - 4
"I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman."
“ Homer „ - 5
"Dear Mr. President: There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. PS, I am not a crackpot."
“ Grandpa Simpson „ - 6
Can't you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can't be policing the entire city!
“ Chief Wiggum „ - 7
"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"
“ Ralph Wiggum „ - 8
"Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that"
“ Homer „ - 9
This is the greatest case of false advertising I've seen since I sued the movie The Never Ending Story.
“ Lionel Hutz „ - 10
"What's a wedding? Webster's dictionary describes it as the act of removing weeds from one's garden."
“ Homer „ - 11
When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power... like God must feel when he's holding a gun.
“ Homer „ - 12
"Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!"
“ Ralph Wiggum „ - 13
Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.
“ Homer „ - 14
Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There's a *New* Mexico?
“ Mr. Burns „ - 15
"You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel."
“ Homer „ - 16
"And in environmental news, scientists have announced that Springfield's air is now only dangerous to children and the elderly."
“ Kent Brockman „ - 17
"I used to be with it. But then they changed what it was. Now what I'm with isn't it, and what's it seems scary and wierd. It'll happen to you."
“ Grandpa Simpson „ - 18
Oooh, so Mother Nature needs a favor?! Well maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys! Nature started the fight for survival, and now she wants to quit because she's losing. Well I say, hard cheese.
“ Mr. Burns „ - 19
Oh, so they have Internet on computers now!
“ Homer „ - 20
I don't like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there's too many fat children.
“ Mr. Burns „ -
- 21
"Well, I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt. I mean not that fancy store bought dirt. That stuff's loaded with nutrients. I... I can't compete with that stuff."
“ Moe „ - 22
"Well, whenever I'm confused, I just check my underwear. It holds the answer to all the important questions."
“ Grandpa Simpson „ - 23
Ironic, isn't it Smithers? This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.
“ Mr. Burns „ - 24
I got a funny story about that. Well it's not so much funny as it is long.
“ Grandpa Simpson „ - 25
Things aren't as happy as they used to be down here at the unemployment office. Joblessness is no longer just for philosophy majors. Useful people are starting to feel the pinch.
“ Kent Brockman „
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The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes at 1/11/2012 4:38 AM
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The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes at 12/31/2010 9:37 AM