tv programs The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes  

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To alcohol! The cause of - and the solution to - all life's problems! Homer

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Just once I'd like someone to ... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes
Just once I'd like someone to call me 'sir' without adding 'you're making a scene.' Homer

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Me fail english? That's unpossible! Ralph Wiggum

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You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel. Homer

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Marge, don't discourage the bo... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes
Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel. Homer

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I used to be with it. But then they changed what it was. Now what I'm with isn't it, and what's it seems scary and wierd. It'll happen to you. Grandpa Simpson

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Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, kent. 14% of people know that Homer

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Well, I'm better than dirt. We... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes
Well, I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt. I mean not that fancy store bought dirt. That stuff's loaded with nutrients. I... I can't compete with that stuff. Moe

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Can't you people take the law ... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes
Can't you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can't be policing the entire city! Chief Wiggum

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I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me superman. Homer

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Hi, super nintendo chalmers! Ralph Wiggum

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This is the greatest case of f... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes
This is the greatest case of false advertising I've seen since I sued the movie the never ending story. Lionel Hutz

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I don't like being outdoors, s... is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes
I don't like being outdoors, smithers. For one thing, there's too many fat children. Mr. Burns

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Oh, so they have internet on computers now! Homer

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Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There's a *new* mexico? Mr. Burns

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English, who needs that? I'm n... is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes
English, who needs that? I'm never going to england Homer

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Things aren't as happy as they... is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes
Things aren't as happy as they used to be down here at the unemployment office. Joblessness is no longer just for philosophy majors. Useful people are starting to feel the pinch. Kent Brockman

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When I held that gun in my han... is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes
When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power... Like god must feel when he's holding a gun. Homer

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Ironic, isn't it smithers? Thi... is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes
Ironic, isn't it smithers? This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you. Mr. Burns

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Dear Mr. President: there are ... is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes
Dear Mr. President: there are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. Ps, I am not a crackpot. Grandpa Simpson

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I got a funny story about that... is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes
I got a funny story about that. Well it's not so much funny as it is long. Grandpa Simpson

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Oooh, so mother nature needs a... is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes
Oooh, so mother nature needs a favor?! Well maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys! Nature started the fight for survival, and now she wants to quit because she's losing. Well I say, hard cheese. Mr. Burns

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Well, whenever I'm confused, I... is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes
Well, whenever I'm confused, I just check my underwear. It holds the answer to all the important questions. Grandpa Simpson

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And in environmental news, sci... is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes
And in environmental news, scientists have announced that springfield's air is now only dangerous to children and the elderly. Kent Brockman

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What's a wedding? Webster's di... is listed (or ranked) 25 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes
What's a wedding? Webster's dictionary describes it as the act of removing weeds from one's garden. Homer