The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes

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  1. 1
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    To alcohol! The cause of - and... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes

    To alcohol! The cause of - and the solution to - all life's problems! Homer

  2. 2
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    Just once I'd like someone to ... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes

    Just once I'd like someone to call me 'sir' without adding 'you're making a scene.' Homer

  3. 3
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    Me fail english? That's unposs... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes

    Me fail english? That's unpossible! Ralph Wiggum

  4. 4
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    You'll have to speak up, I'm w... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes

    You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel. Homer

  5. 5
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    Marge, don't discourage the bo... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes

    Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel. Homer

  6. 6
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    Oh, people can come up with st... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes

    Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, kent. 14% of people know that Homer

  7. 7
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    I used to be with it. But then... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes

    I used to be with it. But then they changed what it was. Now what I'm with isn't it, and what's it seems scary and wierd. It'll happen to you. Grandpa Simpson

  8. 8
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    Well, I'm better than dirt. We... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes

    Well, I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt. I mean not that fancy store bought dirt. That stuff's loaded with nutrients. I... I can't compete with that stuff. Moe

  9. 9
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    Can't you people take the law ... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes

    Can't you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can't be policing the entire city! Chief Wiggum

  10. 10
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    I'm normally not a praying man... is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes

    I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me superman. Homer

  11. 11
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    Hi, super nintendo chalmers! is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes

    Hi, super nintendo chalmers! Ralph Wiggum

  12. 12
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    Oh, so they have internet on c... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes

    Oh, so they have internet on computers now! Homer

  13. 13
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    This is the greatest case of f... is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes

    This is the greatest case of false advertising I've seen since I sued the movie the never ending story. Lionel Hutz

  14. 14
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    Whoa, slow down there, maestro... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes

    Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There's a *new* mexico? Mr. Burns

  15. 15
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    English, who needs that? I'm n... is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes

    English, who needs that? I'm never going to england Homer

  16. 16
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    I don't like being outdoors, s... is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes

    I don't like being outdoors, smithers. For one thing, there's too many fat children. Mr. Burns

  17. 17
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    When I held that gun in my han... is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes

    When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power... Like god must feel when he's holding a gun. Homer

  18. 18
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    Things aren't as happy as they... is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes

    Things aren't as happy as they used to be down here at the unemployment office. Joblessness is no longer just for philosophy majors. Useful people are starting to feel the pinch. Kent Brockman

  19. 19
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    Dear Mr. President: there are ... is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes

    Dear Mr. President: there are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. Ps, I am not a crackpot. Grandpa Simpson

  20. 20
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    Ironic, isn't it smithers? Thi... is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes

    Ironic, isn't it smithers? This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you. Mr. Burns

  21. 21
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    I got a funny story about that... is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes

    I got a funny story about that. Well it's not so much funny as it is long. Grandpa Simpson

  22. 22
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    Oooh, so mother nature needs a... is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes

    Oooh, so mother nature needs a favor?! Well maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys! Nature started the fight for survival, and now she wants to quit because she's losing. Well I say, hard cheese. Mr. Burns

  23. 23
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    Well, whenever I'm confused, I... is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes

    Well, whenever I'm confused, I just check my underwear. It holds the answer to all the important questions. Grandpa Simpson

  24. 24
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    And in environmental news, sci... is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes

    And in environmental news, scientists have announced that springfield's air is now only dangerous to children and the elderly. Kent Brockman

  25. 25
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    What's a wedding? Webster's di... is listed (or ranked) 25 on the list The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes

    What's a wedding? Webster's dictionary describes it as the act of removing weeds from one's garden. Homer

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