The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes TV Programs

The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes

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by  14,090 votes 2,067 voters 195,600 views 25 items tags f p @

Really, there are so many more than 25, but my fingers are tired. Plus, this list should really just be called MY favorite Simpsons Quotes, and even then... still not right (see: first sentence). Seriously, when you're picking quotes from only one of the greatest TV shows of all time, there are only so many that could make the top 25. Since the show's inception in 1989, The Simpsons, with its subversive, double meanings, has entertained both adults and children with its clever ways of delivering a message.

What are the best Simpsons quotes? There so many hilarious ones to choose from, but these only the top 25 best. Voice your opinion by voting on it. Funny Simpsons quotes are everywhere, so what does it really mean if you look at some random few? Vote on the ones that matter or add any if they're missing.



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  1. 1
    + 1039
    - 108
    To alcohol! The cause of - and the solution to - all life's problems!

    To alcohol! The cause of - and the solution to - all life's problems! Homer

  2. 2
    + 834
    - 96

    Just once I'd like someone to call me 'sir' without adding 'you're making a scene.' Homer

  3. 3
    + 814
    - 136
    Me fail english? That's unpossible!

    Me fail english? That's unpossible! Ralph Wiggum

  4. 4
    + 620
    - 130
    You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel.

    You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel. Homer

  5. 5
    + 460
    - 90

    Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel. Homer

  6. 6
    + 472
    - 103

    Can't you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can't be policing the entire city! Chief Wiggum

  7. 7
    + 516
    - 123
    Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

    Oh, so they have internet on computers now! Homer

  8. 8
    + 449
    - 101
    Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, kent. 14% of people know that

    Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, kent. 14% of people know that Homer

  9. 9
    + 566
    - 149
    I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me superman.

    I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me superman. Homer

  10. 10
    + 436
    - 98
    I used to be with it. But then they changed what it was. Now what I'm with isn't it, and what's it seems scary and wierd. It'll happen to you.

    I used to be with it. But then they changed what it was. Now what I'm with isn't it, and what's it seems scary and wierd. It'll happen to you. Grandpa Simpson

  11. 11
    + 395
    - 84

    Well, I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt. I mean not that fancy store bought dirt. That stuff's loaded with nutrients. I... I can't compete with that stuff. Moe

  12. 12
    + 566
    - 157
    Hi, super nintendo chalmers!

    Hi, super nintendo chalmers! Ralph Wiggum

  13. 13
    + 432
    - 105
    Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There's a *new* mexico?

    Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There's a *new* mexico? Mr. Burns

  14. 14
    + 457
    - 116

    English, who needs that? I'm never going to england Homer

  15. 15
    + 365
    - 90

    This is the greatest case of false advertising I've seen since I sued the movie the never ending story. Lionel Hutz

  16. 16
    + 365
    - 94

    I don't like being outdoors, smithers. For one thing, there's too many fat children. Mr. Burns

  17. 17
    + 402
    - 116

    When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power... Like god must feel when he's holding a gun. Homer

  18. 18
    + 389
    - 120

    Dear Mr. President: there are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. Ps, I am not a crackpot. Grandpa Simpson

  19. 19
    + 313
    - 97

    I got a funny story about that. Well it's not so much funny as it is long. Grandpa Simpson

  20. 20
    + 284
    - 86

    Oooh, so mother nature needs a favor?! Well maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys! Nature started the fight for survival, and now she wants to quit because she's losing. Well I say, hard cheese. Mr. Burns

  21. 21
    + 266
    - 79

    Things aren't as happy as they used to be down here at the unemployment office. Joblessness is no longer just for philosophy majors. Useful people are starting to feel the pinch. Kent Brockman

  22. 22
    + 258
    - 82

    Well, whenever I'm confused, I just check my underwear. It holds the answer to all the important questions. Grandpa Simpson

  23. 23
    + 275
    - 93

    Ironic, isn't it smithers? This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you. Mr. Burns

  24. 24
    + 228
    - 85

    And in environmental news, scientists have announced that springfield's air is now only dangerous to children and the elderly. Kent Brockman

  25. 25
    + 248
    - 103

    What's a wedding? Webster's dictionary describes it as the act of removing weeds from one's garden. Homer

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