- 25Up 8Down 4
Abby ClancyWhat if you mixed up Robin Wright Penn when she was hot in the 90s and Elisabeth Shue NOW? Well, then you would have Abbey Clancy, who really could only have more British a name if it ended in "shire" or "ton".
In her set she is up against a blonde wall, with blonde hair and a blonde colored bathing suit. Basically, she really wants people to remember two things:
1) Someone spent at least an hour on her smokey-eyed makeup and...
2) She is blonde.
Here are a bunch of pictures of her looking super hot and equally blonde.
- 16Up 20Down 12I'm not 100% sure whether or not Ai Shinozaki is real or not, but she's really got those dead eyes down cold. I hope. It's like there's a TV on in the direction she's facing and the first episode of The Wire is on or like she's on a date with yours truly.*Combs hair with a fork using a knife as a mirror*She's kind of like a real doll that can cook! She is a person and she is amazing.
- 49Up 1Down 5
Aki HoshimoAki Hoshimo has such an authentically-Japanese-sounding name that when you say it out loud it almost sounds like a racist impression.
Representing Asian women on this list, Aki Hoshino parades in a bikini around a house that looks like either the house from the end of Boogie Nights or the one where Woody Allen goes to an "LA Party" in Annie Hall.
Aki is adorable and has that look that companies try to reproduce in their Asian real dolls on a daily basis. She is a doll and belongs on this list because of her perfect body.
Click here for a picture of what all creepy white dudes think they can get when they take "business trips" to Asia.
- 37Up 3Down 3
April CheryseApril Cheryse has two first names and two solid boobs. She's also not a natural blonde and enjoys pretending she's a powerless Spider-Man in photoshoots.
She also looks showing some top-butt in her photos, which makes her a saint in my book. This is why I'm not The Pope (yet).
Click here to see all of April Cheryse's photoset where she keeps taking her clothes off and making all the articles of clothing look like they're stretchy and hard to take off. Taffy. It's like she's wearing taffy.
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Ashley CAshley C probably had to pick that name due to the overwhelming amount of Ashleys at her elementary school, and then it just stuck.Speaking of stuck, in the set that got her on this list she's wearing two bras. TWO BRAS. Her breasts are that powerful. That's the lingerie equivalent of boarding up a bank safe during an apocalypse. It'll help, but in the end we all know what's going to happen (everyone will die).Here she is in a baby blue polka dot thingie and two bras at first. The other one mysteriously disappears.And here she is in a shot that proves she has telekinetic powers because I honestly have no idea how else that bra is still on in this picture/set.
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