Vampire Causes Car AccidentThough they can change their form to bats, wolves and even mist, sometimes vampires can just be dicks.
According to a Colorado woman, she was forced off of the road while driving home after she saw a vampire standing in the middle of it. When the police arrived on the scene the offending Nosferatu had vanished. The police do not suspect that there was any alcohol or drugs involved, though there was evidence that the woman was not on her prescribed medication.
One small boy interviewed by the local news said "I don't believe she saw a vampire", while local teenage girl added "That would be cool though. I hope that's the case."
I hope horrible creatures from hell that feed on the blood of the living exist in your area too, teenage girl. I hope so too.
Vampire Mauls Elderly ManMilton Ellis is an older, wheelchair bound, gentleman living in St. Petersburg FL.
One day he encountered Josephine Smith, a 22 year-old vagrant, on the streets while going home. The two started talking and seemed to hit it off, so when it started pouring they took shelter together on the porch of a vacant Hooters -- classic RomCom faire.
Milton, being a very old man, fell asleep while waiting for it to stop -- because there's no more sure-fire way to make sure you don't waste time than waiting for weather to subside.
He awoke suddenly to find Smith on his lap, which would've been awesome in any other occasion. But when he asked what she was doing there, she replied, "I'm a vampire. I am going to eat you." She then proceeded to bite him in various places, including his arm and lips, and broke enough skin so that he was left bloody.
Ellis struggled to escape but being in a wheelchair made it difficult to do so. He eventually did, made it to a phone and called the police. He was rushed to the hospital and was treated with stitches.
The police found Smith when they arrived at the scene. She was half-naked and covered in blood. According to her, she had no memory of the events. She was arrested and was held on bail for $50,000.
Hopefully the bars at the prison have enough silver in them to hold the kind of blood-sucking fiend.
As if one vampire attack in Florida wasn't bad enough, there seems to be a string of vampire related crimes going on there right now.
On Wednesday September 28th, 2011, a woman claiming that she is a vampire-werewolf hybrid was arrested as an accessory to murder. "Since I was like, 12...I know this is going to be crazy, but I believe that I'm a vampire. Part of a vampire and part of a werewolf," said the surprisingly non-sparkly woman.
Though she did not have anything to do with the murder other than babysitting the children of the murderer, it is purported that the crime can be linked to a vampire cult since the murderer is her boyfriend, whose blood she has admitted to drinking in the past. The blood of the victim, 16 year old Jacob Hendershot, was not consumed by either party.
It's no surprise that these two alleged vampires were not on team Jacob, but, more importantly, it's safe to say that if you live in Florida right now, you should probably invest in some crosses, garlic and a gun (because that will actually work).
A Werewolf in TexasWerewolves are known to roam the misty fields on a full moon, looking for prey to feast on, ever-changing and ever enigmatic. Unfortunately, with deforestation, they are being forced out of their native habitats. In this case, it seems that they have ended up in suburban San Antonio. And most likely because their lack of native habitat, they have become very sad, which is the only rational explanation for someone who claims to be an other-worldly badass creature looking like a reject from a My Chemical Romance tryout.
A Wolf Pack has emerged in a local high school in San Antonio.
They have been in the news recently as one of the pack seems to have strayed.
A photo surfaced on the internet this year of a bloody hand holding a decapitated dog's head. It was traced to Sarah "Wolfie Blackheart" Rodriguez, a local "teen wolf". When confronted about the picture she claims that a friend brought their dead dog to her and posted that photo, but she had nothing to do with it (other than holding it, of course). According to Wolfie, she would never hurt another dog, though that doesn't keep her from taking huge knives to school (but still no cell phones allowed?)
Below is a video from a local news station covering the very news-worthy events.
A Canadian Zombie Killer in ScotlandThough they are more well known for their werewolves that roam the foggy glens and monsters in lochs, Scotland is not without their undead attacks.
In July of 2011, 21 year-old Michael Davis was walking from one job to another when he was attacked by Canadian man Tianh*i Zhan. Davis was stabbed multiple times by Zhan.
When tried, Zhan was found not guilty by means of insanity when he claimed that he killed Davis because he (Davis) was a zombie. This makes sense, though, because of course he was insane. Every sane person knows that in order to kill a zombie you go for the brain.
The High Court in Glasgow learned that Zhan had a history of mental problems. Zhan had been diagnosed in Canada with bipolar disorder with a psychotic feature, according to the BBC.
He had stopped taking his anti-psychotic medication when he killed Davis, and he later told a forensic psychiatrist that he saw blood on peoples' faces.
The jury learned that Zhan, who was born in China and lived in Toronto, left Canada last September to travel across Europe. He said that 'voices' had urged him to go to Glasgow.
Great. Now what country are Americans supposed to pretend we're from when we travel?
19 Year Old 500 Year Old Vampire Feeds on Texas WomanA woman was in her apartment when she heard a noise, and like a good horror movie victim, she went to investigate. She was hit in the head by alleged "vampire" Lyle Bensley and was then forced against the wall by an assailant who than bit her on the neck. She somehow escaped and drove to a friend's house where she called the police.
When they arrived at her apartment, they discovered Bensley in the parking lot completely unclothes except for his boxers, snarling and hissing.
He led them on a chase, including scaling 2 fences, before they caught him.
While taking him to jail, Bensley told them that he was a 500 year-old vampire and needing to feed. He also insisted that he didn't want to hurt anyone and wanted to be restrained while trying to bite the guards.
Reporters insist that Bensley is just a victim of mass media induced hallucinations, but most think that if he just had better taste in movies, all of this could have been avoided.
The woman suffered very minor injuries and is totally fine.
"I've dealt with some really strange people," said Heyse. "You know, guys who think they're Jesus and that. But I've never seen anything like this."
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