Vampire-Werewolf Hybrid "Sexually Assaults" Young Girl19 year old Kristian Allen Carl learned the hard way that life isn't like the movies, it seems, and trying to bang 15 year old girls is only okay if you're a fictional vampire.
19 year-old Kristian Allen Carl was charged in Pennsylvania for sexual assault after it was discovered he was having intercourse with a 15 year-old girl. What the police didn't know was that Carl was the product of an unholy union of vampire and werewolf.
When asked to prove that he was a hybrid, Carl exposed his canine teeth to the officer. Hilariously, he was then informed by the police that all mammals, including humans, have canine teeth.
The girl told police that he was her boyfriend, but since she was underage, Carl faces charges of statutory rape. Once again proving that vampire/human girl relationships are doomed from the start.
Man Punches Zombie Dining at Local Mexican RestaurantThis is a little different from the previous stories. This story involves a man taking the initiative and attacking the monster before anyone could be harmed, like a considerate, safety-conscious psychopath.
In Iowa City, a place well known for its undead infestation (???), a man was accused of approaching a stranger in line at a local restaurant and punching him twice in the face while exclaiming that the man was a zombie.
He then punched the zombie one more time, breaking his (its?) nose. The man then ran out the back door leaving the poor shambler to be taken to the hospital.
The victim (the "zombie"), surprisingly, had not ordered the brains as part of his meal and the attacker was never caught.
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