The 7 Deadliest Birds in Video Game History Video Games
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The 7 Deadliest Birds in Video Game History

When it comes to fighting baddies in video games, most people talk about the city sized, end level bosses like the Titans in "God of War" or disgusting mutant freaks like those in "Silent Hill". Sometimes, thought, evil can come in much smaller, feathered packages. I am talking about the devilishly clever birds. No one ever stops and thinks about how many hours they lost trying to get past the one stage with all of the birds, that, for some ungodly reason, can take half your health away with one hit. They don't talk about the crows in "Castlevania" that can knock you off of your tiny platform into a watery grave.

This list compiles the top feathery foes that have had us throwing our controllers down in frustration and made use long for hunting season.

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  1. 1

    Birdo (Super Mario Bros Series)

    Birdo is a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a mystery coated in a crusty pizza dough of crazy.

    First off, he's one of the most famous transsexuals in video game history. (Yes, he is a dude that not only dresses like a girl, but wants so much to be one that he produces eggs. How? No clue.) For those of you not convinced, look at this commercial from the original Japanese launch of Mario 2 (known there as Mario USA)



    Clearly, Birdo is voiced by a dude so let that be the end of the discussion. Moving on.

    Birdo is considered by most to be a joke in the Mario games, since all you have to do to kill him is throw back the eggs he spits at you. Before you write him off though, consider the fact that he wants to kill Mario so badly that he is willing to birth eggs (something no male of ANY species should be able to do) just to use them as weapons. Not only that, but in later levels Birdo shows that he can also spit fire if he chooses to. Why he doesn't just do that in the first place is another thing that makes him loco.

    What's also pretty damn disturbing is that Nintendo has put it out there that Birdo and Yoshi have some sort of past/ongoing relationship, which I don't even want to think about, but feel that this video puts it into sharp perspective:

  2. 2

    Sand Birds (Prince of Persia: Sand of Time)

    Goddamn Sand Birds.

    If you have ever played Prince of Persia: Sands of Time, you know exactly what I mean by this. The Sand Birds are the most annoyingly destructive enemies in the whole game. Sure, they aren't huge ax swinging demon lords, but at least with those guys you just have to worry about dodging out of the way of their attacks.

    The damn Sand Birds wait until you are at the highest point in the room and having to run along a wall, ninja style, to get to the next platform to attack. What's worse is that if you don't hit them at just the right time, they will dislodge you from the wall and send you plummeting to your death 50 feet below. (Of course, you do have the sands of time to reverse your mistake, which you will have to do 27 times to get around just one bird.)



    And God forbid you make the mistake of saving your game in the Bird Cage just to find out that Game Cube has a glitch that has the birds attack you out of nowhere at the same point every single time and you have no way to get around it so you have to start the whole game over just to get around that one spot. (Yeah, I never finished Sands of Time because of those GODDAMN SAND BIRDS.)

  3. 3

    The Mighty Eagle (Angry Birds)

    This would be a sorry list indeed if we failed to mention the king of all bird games, Angry Birds. The dilemma comes from which bird of the cast is the most deadly. You have Red, but even though he is the defacto leader of the group, he is pretty weak. (He can't even break wood well.) Then there's Yellow and Blue, both are pretty standard, but still not much death dealt there. Black and White were really the piggy killers of choice up until recently with there bombing power, but then we were introduced to the atomic bomb of the bird world, the Mighty Eagle.



    When you select to use this awe inspiring bird, all you have to launch is a can of sardines. When it lands on the mark all you have to do is wait a few seconds to see the sky darken and the shadow of death descend on those poor piggy bastards. When the smoke clears all that is left is, well, nothing if you did it right. This is what make the mysterious Mighty Eagle one of the most vicious birds in all of gaming history.

  4. 4

    Ravens (Most NES Games)

    Birds were things to be feared in the late 80s it seems. Almost all original NES games featured them as baddies. Especially ravens. It's weird, but in the first few Ninja Gaidens, it wasn't the rival ninjas that we had the most problems with but the damn birds and dogs. Maybe it was the flight patterns, because we all know how hard it is to hit a bird that zig zags around the screen instead of just coming right at you like everything else in the game.

    You also had to deal with those suckers in the Castlevania series too. They were so annoying that the main theme of the game has the fan name of "Damned Castlevania Birds":



    Don't get me started on the birds in Ghosts 'N Goblins. It's bad enough that your health system in the game consists of wearing armor or running around naked, but to have a stupid bird be able to knock you out of your clothes...



    It's just embarrassing.

  5. 5

    Pipi (Mega Man Series)



    What's worse than one bird trying to knock you off of a floating platform? How about a bird that drops a bomb that unleashes 50 smaller birds.

    In a move to make one of the harder platformers in history even more difficult, the designers of Mega Man 2 decided to introduce us to Pipi. (Yeah, that's the bird's name. I didn't know it either until I was researching this list. I just knew it as "GODDAMN IT! AGAIN?") Pipi is a cold-hearted bird bot that wants nothing more than Mega Man's death and is willing to use it's own offspring for ammo.



    Located in Airman's level, which is already one of the hardest ones considering that you have to jump from pixel to literal pixel and pray to god that you don't overstep yourself and fall off, Pipi is probably one of the worst bird enemies on this list. He waits for you to get comfortable on a large platform, then swoops in and drops his egg bomb, which if you are not fast enough to shoot will explode into tons of unavoidable little birds that will force you off and into the great blue yonder.

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