The 9 Greatest Homemade Sex Toys for Men Anything
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The 9 Greatest Homemade Sex Toys for Men

Sometimes, the hand just doesn't cut it. Women have a HUGE market for sex toys, but how many dudes do you know that proudly own a Fleshlight? With the high costs of sex toys for men and the high social stigma-factor of them, sometimes the best way to get something you want is to make it yourself. So, here are the greatest cheap sex toys for men that you can make with little to no cash, in a few minutes, using household items. Sure, most of these look like murder weapons, but sex toys in general (at least for men) don’t generally look all that appealing anyway. Enjoy.

So, in case you're not dating a girl that looks like THIS, here are 7 tips on how to make a female companion who will never leave you that you can enjoy for the rest of your life (or until it breaks.)Here are the 7 best sex toys for men and exactly how you can make them (in private) in your very own home. You probably want to know how to make a pocket pussy, right? Of course you do.

Though it's not handmade or for men, the sybian is one of the hottest selling toys for girls. Howard Stern loves using it on his show. Check out Ranker's Hottest Girls of Sybian on Howard Stern.

And hey, if you are feeling experimental, why not check out the top reasons straight guys should try homosexuality.

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  1. 7
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    Couch Cushion for the Pushin

    Bringing a whole new meaning to the word "love seat", click here for an instructional video on how to make a small plastic concoction that will allow you to use your couch as the final ingredient.

    You're about to get to know your couch a LOT better than you ever expected to.

    In case you don't want to watch the video of cute redhead describing the best way to bang a couch, here's how to do it.

    HOW TO MAKE
    Materials: Ziploc bag, scissors, lubricant

    1. Cut the seal strip off of your Ziploc bag
    2. Squirt lubricant into the bag, make sure it covers the whole bag.
    3. Bring the plastic bag over to your couch and put it under a cushion.
    4. Get in the bag.
    5. Push down on the couch for more pressure.

    Browse The Hottest & Greatest Sex Toys for Men at EdenFantasys®. Free Shipping on orders $35 and over!

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    Squeeze Toy (G)love

    This sex toy (one of many "homemade sex toys" made by YouTuber "MekodachiUD"), is the easiest. The things this guy makes sometimes look more like meat processors or torture devices than they do "sex toys". Most of his stuff can only be made from home if you have a Ph D. in mechanical engineering.

    Take this thing, for instance, that I wouldn't use to to mix drinks with, let alone let ANYWHERE near my penis:

    Click here for the most dangerous sex toy for men you will ever face. Not use, but "face". If it goes wrong, it will be your enemy.

    You know those soft, spiky-looking squeeze toys that you can buy at your local pet stores? Well, buy three pairs of them (6 balls total) and you have a contraption that can only be described as "interesting".

    Click here for the silent, creepy instructional video involving a really weird-strap on for demonstration. There's something about this guy's careful precision and his marching-band-gloves that make it almost feel like a serial killer is showing us how to do this. But hey, we all know serial killers are precise at least, right? Right.

    The interesting/best part of this toy is that it actually encloses the penis instead of it just being a plastic bag that you bang. It closes around the penis and applies what looks like more pressure than anything else on this list.

    Here are the written instructions for those of us who couldn't sit through A Clockwork Orange

    HOW TO MAKE
    Materials: spiky rubber balls, a rubber glove, lubricant

    1. Keep the rubber balls in their net-like casing, so that they stay together (if you can't find models exactly like the ones in the video, then just get 6 rubber balls).

    2. Put the rubber balls into a plastic glove, making sure that there is adequate depth and that it's really a triangular three rows of two balls pointing towards the outside of the glove.

    3. Position the balls, make sure the glove is keeping its form.

    4. Apply lubricant.

    5. Stretch out the contraption to fit your penis inside, then close the contraption around it.

    6. Get your jolly rogers off.

    Browse The Hottest & Greatest Sex Toys for Men at EdenFantasys®. Free Shipping on orders $35 and over!

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    Professional Popcorn Surprise

    This is taken from the classic idea of the "Popcorn Surprise" where you cut a hole at the bottom of a tub of popcorn in a movie theater and ask your date if they'd like some popcorn... and well, you know the rest.

    Click here for that same cute redhead from the couch video explaining how to make the Popcorn Surprise a reality in your life.

    So a) You'll finally be able to do this and b) You can play some AWESOME practical jokes with this, if you hate your friends and love wasting popcorn

    HOW TO MAKE
    Material: paper towel or toilet paper roll, a cardboard bucket of some kind, scissors, a pen, latex gloves, lubricant.

    1. Trace the circumference of the toilet paper roll on the bottom of the bucket. Then dry pie-like lines in the circle. A 6 piece pie should work.

    2. Cut a hole in the bottom of the bucket. Make sure you cut the whole so that there are flaps pointing into the inside of the bucket. This will hold your cardboard roll in place better.

    3. Squeeze the cardboard roll through the hole, beginning at the outside of the bucket.

    4. Get your rubber glove and drop it into the roll.

    5. Tape the outside of the glove around the roll.

    6. Apply lubricant, and let 'er rip.

    Browse The Hottest & Greatest Sex Toys for Men at EdenFantasys®.

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