L The List
Allen Heckard v. Michael Jordan
Remember the 90's? Transitioning out of the big hair of the 80's, toning down the neon colors in the clothes and slowly deflating the shoulder pads. The Chicago Bulls were the winningest team in basketball and everyone wanted to be like Mike!
Well there is definitely one person who is not happy about being like Mike. His name is Allen Heckard, and he is too much like Michael Jordan, or in his mind, Jordan is too much like him. Heckard sued Jordan for defamation, permanent injury and emotional pain and suffering as he was tired of people constantly coming up to him and asking if he was Michael.
Granted, they are both African-Americans with shaved heads and large earrings, but that seems to be where the likeness ends as Heckard is about 6 inches shorter than Jordan. That's like me wanting to sue Brad Pitt. We are both white with hair, so obviously we get confused for each other. Not only did he sue Jordan, but he also included Nike in the lawsuit as he claimed it was their fault in making Jordan worldwide superstar. The total he was claiming in damages was $832 Million. ($416 Million to each party.)
He later dropped the lawsuit without stating why. I would like to think that he challenged Jordan to a slam dunk contest.
Rob Delaney v. Kim Kardashian's Divorce
The latest celebrity being threatened with a lawsuit is poor Kim Kardashian. Not only did she recently split from her recently wed recent Prince Charming, but a mean old comedian is being a meany and saying that she didn't give her 72 day long marriage enough time to work. (What does he want? They were married for 72 DAYS. That's like 34 years in reality tv star time.)
Rob Delaney, a very funny man with a knack at pointing out societies eccentricities, otherwise known as a "Stand Up Comedian", wrote on Vice.com "I could forgive that if Kim gave her marriage a real go. I’ve been married for five years. To the same woman. I’ve wanted to divorce her at times. She’s wanted to divorce me at times. But one great thing about marriage, when it’s entered by regular folks, in good faith, is that it’s hard to exit. It costs money."
He has claimed that he will be suing not only Kim Karadashian, but also E! Entertainment Television and it's master Ryan "I do everything in Hollywood" Seacrest for not only promoting a shame marriage, but also making him aware of who Kim Kardashian is.
My only question is if we can turn this bad boy into a class action case, cause I feel equally harmed mentally and emotionally.
Valerie Turks v. Sean Diddy Combs
When you hear that someone is going to be suing Sean "Diddy Daddy Puffy" Combs you would think it might be for something like intellectual theft of lyrics, maybe beats or possibly having too many aliases. In the case of Valerie Turks v. Diddy Combs though it was a little more intense than that.
Turks claims that not only did Combs father a son with her and neglect to pay child support, but he also is in possession of a casino chip that she won in Mississippi that is worth "100s of zillions of dollars". Add to this that Combs supposedly was in charge of the collapse of the World Trade Center on 9/11 when he and Rodney King went through the building knocking it down on top of her and her children crushing them and putting them in the hospital where they raped her and her children.
It is understandable that she would be suing him for all these crimes that were levied against her. The total she is asking? A mere $900 Billion for child support and $100 Billion for loss of income for a grand total of one trillion dollars. It might sound like a lot, but considering the casino chip is worth 100s of zillions, he is getting off light.
Ursula Auburn v. Charlie Sheen
Ursula Auburn knows how to get around. Not only has she claimed that she has been connected to Charlie Sheen, Jack Nicholson and Nicholas Cage, but she has managed to be immortalized on TV as well.
According to Auburn, the character of Rose on the extremely popular TV show, 2 and 1/2 Men, is based completely on her, from the voice to the outfits to the things that she does one the show.
One has to wonder why someone would go so far as to claim that a character that is loopy, annoying and a stalker, is based on them. Of course when you consider that Ursula Auburn seems to be loopy, annoying and a stalker, it all kind of makes sense. It made sense to Sheen's lawyers too since it seems the case was settled outside of court for an undisclosed amount.
Jonathan Lee Riches
Have you heard about Jonathan Lee Riches? Probably not. He is in jail right now serving time for wire fraud. Of course being in jail doesn't stop him from being harassed constantly by the outside world. Riches isn't one to take these intrusions lightly though. If you slight him in anyway, he will sue you.
It is because of his lightning fast litigious nature that the Guinness Book of World Records named him the most suing man in the world. (A title that he promptly sued them to have removed.) The prestigious record keepers aren't the only people that Riches has filed lawsuit against.
He has filed cases against the likes of Steve Jobs (claiming that Jobs hired O.J. Simpson as a hitman to take out a building using pyrotechnics stolen from Great White as well as aiming nuclear missiles at Lance Armstrong's bike and price gouging IPhone users.), Martha Stewart (suing for $3.5million for emotional and mental distress after getting poison ivy and falling in a groundhogs hole on her property. If he wins though, he claims to give all monies to Rachel Ray.) and even Hank Aaron's bat (I don't even know how to explain this one).
For a greatest hits listing of Riches lawsuits click here.
Fort Worth Man v. Dead Elvis
When a noted celebrity dies, it has it's effect on us. We want to not believe that they have left us so soon. A great example of this is the tragic end of Elvis Presley. After his death, multiple accounts have been told about how it was fake, from him avoiding the mafia or the government to him being an alien and just going home. Many people claim to have proof of these conspiracies.
Of course nothing really is more proof than talking to the man himself. That's exactly what a man in Fort Worth Texas claims has happened. Not only had the King called him, but he had done it so many times that it had affected him mentally as well as raising his phone bill. It had caused so much stress that the man had no other choice but so Elvis' estate for suffering and damages.
No word on the outcome of this paranormal ordeal is known.