The Joule Hotel PoolThe pool in the Joule Hotel looks like something a toddler would put on his LEGO hotel, right below the room made entirely of pizza, and next to the landing pad for the giant, fighting robot.
Pictured: why real life and Jenga shouldn't ever mix.
Not only does one end of the pool project out into space, but the exterior wall is made of clear glass, and if it were to give out, there's just no way you'd be able to stop yourself from spilling out with the water and falling ten stories.
And even if you miraculously survived that, you'd be standing in the middle of the street. And if this happens to you, then please do watch out for traffic.
"Honey? Do you hear a cab driver hurling vulgarities?"
The Icebergs Hotel Pool
Since man first left the caves and started wearing pants, he's been defying nature wherever possible, but the pool at the Icebergs Hotel in Australia is an exceptional affront to nature and all its glory.
Its constructors took one look at the ocean and said "Man, I wish that was a swimming pool," and proceeded to push the ocean back twenty feet.
Waves regularly crash into the pool, and they can get quite violent, presumably because there's supposed to be a f*cking ocean there.
"In retrospect, this may have been a bad idea."
And despite all this, people still swim in the thing, which is strange because it's essentially just a walled in piece of ocean. They can't keep regular pool water in it because the ocean keeps getting in. So why wouldn't you just swim in the normal ocean, where you aren't getting knocked on your ass by a wave four times taller than you every minute?
Why does every picture of this thing look like a shot from the Day After Tomorrow?
The Cannonball Loop
Quite possibly the worst water slide ever conceived, the Cannonball Loop that used to stand at Action Park (which you may know as the amusement park whose motto was "Safety?") is exactly what you'd expect: a water slide with a loop in it:
Nothing says "fun" like clearing these tubes full of kids with more kids.
The slide was only open for a month, after which it was permanently closed because of the amount of injuries. Some people didn't quite make the loop and fell off the top, because of, you know, gravity. Others (the lucky ones) had their backs scratched to hell by the sand and dirt that collected at the bottom of the loop by, again, gravity.
There also wasn't a pool at the bottom. Instead, disoriented and bruised riders were greeted by a wet mat:
Because who needs skin on their back anyway?
The Devil's Pool
First, let me introduce you to Victoria Falls in Zambia:
They're 355 feet high, which is safely within the "if you fall off of from anything this high, you will die" zone. But that doesn't stop reckless adventurers from hiking to the top and swimming at the lip of the falls:
It's a bit safer than it looks because of a rock wall just under the surface that stands between these foolhardy tourists and their impeding doom-- but only marginally. People still slip over the edge on occasion.
"Look ma, no hands!"
The Golden Nugget Pool
The Golden Nugget pool looks fairly normal at first glance, if not a little over-luxurious. The pool itself is round and has a large aquarium filled with ocean life at the center. So you can swim with the fishes without all that nasty touching the fishes.
But the main feature of the pool is its water slide, which turns into a glass tube and dives through the aquarium:But even that wouldn't be so horrifying-- if the aquarium weren't infested with sharks.
Hey, at least there's a thin layer of glass between you and the ferocious, man-eating sharks.
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