Energizer Bunny Arrested For Battery. *Knee Slap*v
It's true that the Energizer Bunny's battery doesn't die, but that doesn't mean he doesn't commit battery and have other people almost die. At least that's what one bunny did when it kept "going, and going, and going" at a college party and he turned his drum into a weapon, attacking a large crowd of young people.
Several young people ended up in the hospital with injuries. THE HOSPITAL. The man inside the Energizer Bunny costume was charged with third degree, wait for it, battery.
Easter Bunny Knocks Out a Mall Visitor
The best thing about Easter is that one minute your kids can be cuddling up with the Easter Bunny and another minute your wife can be thrown on the floor and held in a choke hold (in a bad way) -- all on sacred mall grounds.
That's exactly what happened with Erin Johansson, Crystal Frechette and Arthur McClure. The three got in a scuffle when Johansson, a patron, complained to Frechette, the assistant and wife of (the guy at the mall playing) the Easter Bunny (not the real one, you see), about the early closure of the photo line. As the argument escalated, Frechette punched Johansson in the face which then prompted McClure, the Easter Bunny ("you might know me from mall fights as..."), to take off his Easter Bunny head (the Easter Bunny decapitated himself kids!) and sock it to Johansson himself. Hard.
McClure revealed himself to be 280 pounds with a bear head tattoo on his right arm. A motherf*cking BEAR HEAD for a tattoo. Appropriately, on his arrest report, McClure's occupation was listed as "Easter Bunny." All in a day's work.
A Guy in an Easter Bunny and a Guy in a Helmet Try to Rob a Bank
Seriously, what the hell ever happened to black skicaps, black turtle necks, rubber shoes and those awesome Hamburglar masks?
A group of people -- seven to be exact -- were charged with attempted robbery in October 2008 after trying to rob a Swedish currency exchange office. Sounds typical enough, if we're using heist movies as "typical," until one guy is wearing a blue bunny costume and another a crash helmet. It really just kind of sounds like they thought of this after backing out of doing a Jackass-style viral video and just decided to rob a Swedish bank on their way home.
Luckily for the bank, and unfortunately for our costumed friends, the staff members at the office were able to activate a security door and block the guys from entry all while the blue bunny robber had to stand there in his bunny costume, waiting to be arrested for a robbery that ended way before it began.
Stockholm police also reported that the bunny suit was indeed stolen. At least the guy pulled that one off.
Hippie Easter Bunny Protests "Military Egg Baskets" Cause She Hates Freedom
This girl is the reason people hate hippies. K-mart visitors in Manhattan were given a treat in 2003 when 28-year-old Amy Hamilton-Thibert dressed up as an Easter Bunny while protesting the military-themed Easter baskets sold at the chain store because in this economy, not everyone has a job.
She stood inside the store wearing a lilac sweater with cellophane grass, white pants, plush slippers, a stuffed cottontail and white rabbit ears, all while carrying a sign that read "Someone's in my Easter basket...and it's G.I. Joe!!" She explained to children who approached her that, "Guns are for war and killing people. Easter baskets are for eggs and for bunnies." She also passed out eggs with the message, "Don't you think it's strange to have guns and soldiers in an Easter Basket?" inside.
According to science, when they ran that last quote through their human-translation machine, the sentence came out: "Why do you want a fun, useful toy that you'll play with instead of focusing on getting fatter all weekend, little boy?"
When store manager Jodi Sherman caught sight of Hamilton-Thibert's activities he called the cops, who were reluctant to arrest her due to her peaceful cause, but they were ultimately forced to once she refused to leave when them.
The young woman (who had her two-year-old daughter with her) only identified herself as "Miss Bunny" (which really sounds like it's right out of a horror movie about a deformed, mutant, giant rabbit that somehow lays eggs that never hatch and can talk) until reaching the precinct house and planned on having another protest through Mothers for Militant Action, or MOMA, at the same K-mart once released. This bunny just bounces right on back.
Woah, that actually kind of makes me think...
Bunny Radio Show Host Has a Run-In with the TSA
Traveling during the holidays is already hard as all hell, so imagine traveling on Easter weekend in an Easter Bunny costume. Not so fun, especially with TSA officials these days. Enter Valerie Baul, the Kansas radio personality who's also known as "Bunny Lady" for her role as a costumed singing and juggling entertainer, decided to spread some Easter cheer. You know, lighten things up a little.
So, donning fuzzy pink rabbit ears and carrying a basket full of colored eggs, she happily passed through security and, when asked what was in her eggs, she playfully cracked one open on the TSA officer's head. The egg was full of paper confetti, which would usually cue the party, loud music, conga dancing and infidelity... only this time it put Baul behind bars.
The TSA officer obviously didn't find her act too funny (and quite honestly, you probably wouldn't either.)
Baul was consequently handcuffed, put in airport prison for three hours and charged with misdemeanor assault.
"Don't you DARE make me laugh, let along look at me when I'm frisking you." *Moans*
Easter Bunny Harasses Local Students in a Parking Lot
The Easter Bunny costume is usually worn by a middle-aged man on the job and down on his luck. Naturally, that is who we need serving as a fuzzy, hug-crazy chair for our children around one of the most important religious holidays on the Christian calendar.
ONCE AGAIN: WARNING: You may have never thought of this before, but the person whose lap is serving as a fuzzy, hug-crazy chair for your children every Easter may very well be... a furry.
A man dressed up in a bunny costume was spotted driving around a local Woodward restaurant in Oklahoma where students usually hang out and started harassing a few of them from Elk City school. Students reported his behavior, but by the time police showed up at the scene, the guy and his convertible were already gone.
When they finally did track him down, the accused harasser was still wearing his pink bunny suit.... What? He probably just thought it was comfortable. He wasn't arrested because police didn't witness him harassing the students, but he did get a warning to "act [his] age." And um, maybe even his species.
Mall Easter Bunny Doesn't Get Service Fast Enough at Bank, Goes Insane
Easter bunnies can be scary and sexually terrifying(/confusing), but sh*t starts getting really "real" after hours.
When Tori Byrd finished her shift as Easter Bunny at the Leigh Mall in Columbus, she changed out of her bunny suit and, apparently, changed into her old bitch-mode suit. It's not as flattering (physically.)
She approached the mall office for her paycheck, but when they didn't give her the money right away she went a little sharp-toothed Monty Python bunny on them. She started yelling and making an enormous scene. Like, an enormous scene. They were going to go through with the transaction, but she, for some reason, needed the money "NOW".
Maybe she had only a few minutes left to get that money before some 90s terrorist exploded a bus full of children and the clerk was on the phone, ignorant to the carnage he/she was about to cause. Yes. That is most likely what happened.
The 22-year-old was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct.
Gangster Bunny Involved in Feud. Local Mall Relieved.
Nothing says tough guy more than a pink, blue and yellow Easter bunny costume. Nothing.
The Arnold Mall (read: bored mall employees) in Missouri had a little idea that the person playing their Easter Bunny was actually a member of the most feared gang in town: The Lollipop Gang. You know they don't give a f*ck about killing you if they stick with a name like The Lollipop Gang.
Just say it outloud: "The Lollipop Gang". Let it sink gently into your nightmares...
So, when authorities were called in to stop a gang-related feud, mall evening shift manager Olen Mills was surprised to learn that the Easter Bunny was involved in the fight and arrested him, feeling a sense of relief at his prejudice. He said, "I can't believe it. We want to have a safe environment for children. When they see the Easter Bunny, we don't want them to think that underneath the beauty of it all [maybe this guy is also a potential furry] is a gang member."
Easter Bunny Steals DVDs from Sam's Club
In 2012, a man from Painsville decided he needed $1,000 worth of DVDs and the only way to get them was to waltz into a big box store and steal them. Because that's how shopping works. So, Justin Medema, 27, who I guess must be a film lover, went to his local Sam's Club and grabbed himself some DVDs.
He was accused of stealing the DVDs, worth a total of $1,000. However, he was not arrested on site. The cops tracked him down and made the arrest after he finished entertaining the residents of the Heartland of Mentor retirement home... dressed as the Easter Bunny.
Not only did he need those DVDs, but he needed them before work. Guy had a schedule! His bail was set at $10,000 and later pled not guilty to the felony theft charge.
Easter Bunny Heads Are the Hottest Item for Spring
It's tough to keep up with the hottest fashion trends these days, and when it comes to the Easter season, Bunny Costume heads are in high demand. This is probably why a teenager in Naples, Florida, stole the head off a man dressed as the Easter Bunny in 2007.
18 year old Nicholas Reed Pensabene crept up behind a Naples Beach Hotel employee who was taking photographs with children, took the head of his costume, and ran off to his getaway car. Hotel employees ID'ed the car and the cops were able to track it, and Pensabene down. His buddy who drove the car gave him up immediately. Pensabene later met with the cops and admitted fault, accepting all responsibility. He was charged with one count of grand theft.
The real lesson here though isn't to not steal character heads. It's to make sure your getaway driver doesn't rat you out.
But Bunny Suits Are Just So Comfy!
A man in Idaho Falls just loves to dress up like the Easter Bunny. He loves it so much that he does it year round! And in public! And with a tutu! And behind trees! Around local children! Totally normal and not creepy, right?
Wrong. Many neighbors reported William Falkingham, 34, after seeing him in the suit constantly got to be "annoying" and was "frightening their children." After neighbor also reported that Falkingham hid behind a tree in the suit and was pointing finger guns at her son, the police stepped in.
Local cops asked Falkingham to stop wearing the suit in public, and although he reportedly told officials that he "enjoys" wearing the suit, he understands his neighbor's concerns and agreed to stop.
These Aren't Drugs, They're Bunny Medicine
In 2012, police in Danville, Virginia arrested a man working as the the Easter Bunny at Danville's Piedmont Mall. The cops said he was caught with pills, but did not have a valid prescription. Surely they were just special bunny pills that were prescribed by a bunny doctor and the police just didn't understand?
Nope! 24 year old Joshua Lee Bolling was definitely in possession of prescription narcotics. The people kind. Police were drawn to Bolling after they received several complaints from mall business and management that the bunny was exhibiting "behavior suggestive of possible criminal drug activity."
Bolling was escorted away from the public and allowed to remove his bunny costume before they officially made the arrest.