Easter Bunny Harasses Local Students in a Parking LotThe Easter Bunny costume is usually worn by a middle-aged man on the job and down on his luck. Naturally, that is who we need serving as a fuzzy, hug-crazy chair for our children around one of the most important religious holidays on the Christian calendar.
ONCE AGAIN: WARNING: You may have never thought of this before, but the person whose lap is serving as a fuzzy, hug-crazy chair for your children every Easter may very well be... a furry.
A man dressed up in a bunny costume was spotted driving around a local Woodward restaurant in Oklahoma where students usually hang out and started harassing a few of them from Elk City school. Students reported his behavior, but by the time police showed up at the scene, the guy and his convertible were already gone.
When they finally did track him down, the accused harasser was still wearing his pink bunny suit.... What? He probably just thought it was comfortable. He wasn't arrested because police didn't witness him harassing the students, but he did get a warning to "act [his] age." And um, maybe even his species.
Mall Easter Bunny Doesn't Get Service Fast Enough at Bank, Goes InsaneEaster bunnies can be scary and sexually terrifying(/confusing), but sh*t starts getting really "real" after hours.
When Tori Byrd finished her shift as Easter Bunny at the Leigh Mall in Columbus, she changed out of her bunny suit and, apparently, changed into her old bitch-mode suit. It's not as flattering (physically.)
She approached the mall office for her paycheck, but when they didn't give her the money right away she went a little sharp-toothed Monty Python bunny on them. She started yelling and making an enormous scene. Like, an enormous scene. They were going to go through with the transaction, but she, for some reason, needed the money "NOW".
Maybe she had only a few minutes left to get that money before some 90s terrorist exploded a bus full of children and the clerk was on the phone, ignorant to the carnage he/she was about to cause. Yes. That is most likely what happened.
The 22-year-old was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct.
Gangster Bunny Involved in Feud. Local Mall Relieved.Nothing says tough guy more than a pink, blue and yellow Easter bunny costume. Nothing.
The Arnold Mall (read: bored mall employees) in Missouri had a little idea that the person playing their Easter Bunny was actually a member of the most feared gang in town: The Lollipop Gang. You know they don't give a f*ck about killing you if they stick with a name like The Lollipop Gang.
Just say it outloud: "The Lollipop Gang". Let it sink gently into your nightmares...
So, when authorities were called in to stop a gang-related feud, mall evening shift manager Olen Mills was surprised to learn that the Easter Bunny was involved in the fight and arrested him, feeling a sense of relief at his prejudice. He said, "I can't believe it. We want to have a safe environment for children. When they see the Easter Bunny, we don't want them to think that underneath the beauty of it all [maybe this guy is also a potential furry] is a gang member."
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