The 8 Hottest Adult Store Fires of All Time By Robert Wabash [73 more lists]

porn shops are meant to get their customers hot under the collar, but not the kind of hot that leaves third degree burns on their skin. From customers setting themselves on fire in viewing theaters to rival sex shops torching each other, here are 8 incidents where an adult store was somehow, mysteriously (or intentionally) set on fire.

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1

Man Sets Himself On Fire in Private Booth

On April 13, 2011, a man walked into a San Fransisco porn shop at 99 Sixth Street and after spending a short while in one of their "arcade" viewing booths (which, seriously, who the h*ll does this anymore? the internet exists, guys) ran out of the store on fire.

The entire incident is a mystery as the man was alone in a private booth. Apparently, the video he was watching was (I apologize ahead of time) just that hot.

Police saw the man completely "engulfed in flames" as he ran out the front door of the store and they quickly summoned nearby firefighters to extinguish him.

The man was taken to St. Francis Memorial Hospital to be treated for the severe, life-threatening third-degree burns that covered over 90% of his body.

Fire officials are still investigating exactly how this man set himself on fire. The store owner says that he believes that the man accidentally lit himself on fire while doing drugs... which makes perfect sense.

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2

Porn Shop Set Ablaze As Innocent Men Masturbate in Peace

Imagine "finishing up" at a viewing room in an adult video store and being expected to run like a Olympian champion out of a flaming inferno. Would your wobbly knees propel you to safety, or would you end up as just another puddle on the ground?

Jeffrey Damon McMahan found himself in such a challenging predicament after exiting a room at Fantasy Adult Video store in Portland, Oregon. He was overcome by the flames (and God knows what else) in his escape, and state Medical Examiner Dr. Larry Lewman declared his cause of death as smoke inhalation.

The store was long considered a controversy in Portland, causing a furious outbreak of complaints among residents when it opened. The space offered 20 viewing booths, 2,000 adult videos, adult toys and magazines, and had a huge 24 by 30 foot sign to top it off.

Due to the burning hot feelings about the space, investigators think that a possible arson crime could be tied to the incident. However, owner Tracy Blakeslee doesn't plan to back down from his enterprise. He said, "I know we are controversial, but I can't believe anybody would hate us bad enough to burn us down."

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3

Firestarters Hit Japanese Porn Center, Man Narrowly Escapes Embarrassing Death

Cat's Adult Video Theatre in Osaka, Japan, was set on fire at 2:30 AM in October 2008. According to police, a customer admitted to starting the fire with a stash of newspapers in his bag. Let's assume that they were skeevy personal ads.

The adult theatre served as a cheap motel (but with the kind of videos that most nicemotels would censor) for traveling visitors and young people with low-paying jobs (ie: bloggers). Each "room"/viewing cubicle had a cot, television, and DVD player. Of course, the video store was fully stocked with a wide selection of adult movies for all 32 cubicles.

When the fire was started, most of the rooms were occupied with sleeping or otherwise distracted customers. Only one individual described discovering the fire as he was about to go to bed, narrowly escaping with his life. The verdict is still out on his pants. The fire in his pants. No? Nobody? Moving on...

The fire burned 40 square meters of the establishment and fifteen men were found dead. Nine other men and one woman were seriously injured.

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4

An Entire Street of Porn Wiped Out :'(

This fire incident doesn't just involve one porn shop, it involves an entire block of porn shops in Baltimore, Maryland. Apparently there are a lot of horny folk in Baltimore.

The fire and chaos started at an adult video store called Girthy Show World and spread to several other buildings along the infamous row of strip clubs and adult entertainment parlors known as "The Block" around town. Many of the 6 affected structures did not have sprinkler systems in place, causing the fire to burn for hours.

The traffic buildup was horrible and it didn't take very long for children to start asking their parents what "porn" and "stripping" meant, prompting a lot of way-too-early "birds and the bees" conversations which likely have resulted in numerous therapy bills, and countless innocent children being told "the truth" by their parents.

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5

Porn Store vs. Porn Store: A Literal Flame War

Competition in the porn world can be fierce, especially when one adult video store is only a few blocks away from another. Things tend to get a little...heated, or at least they did for Kenner, Louisiana competitors Paradise Video and Mr. Binky's.

On September 11, 2007, (too soon!) Jesse Acosta and Rashad Clark, the manager and part-time employee of Paradise Video, respectively, conspired to set Mr. Binky's on fire. After they executed the plan, Acosta reportedly dropped Clark at a hospital where he was treated for burns. Which is not the smoothest way to cover up a simple arson crime.

Of course, the hospital and a deputy sheriff called the Jefferson Parish police station to report the incident, and the two partners-in-business-and-crime were arrested on suspicion of arson.

Meanwhile, the people over at Mr. Binky's sued Acosta and Clark for more than $50,000 in damages and you can bet they'll never let the two borrow salt or sugar if they ever need it. Neighbor privileges, relinquished!

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6

Men in Halloween Masks Set Store on Fire, Find It Hilarious

Halloween tricks came early for a porn store in the city of Etobicoke. The Ontario, Canada adult video store was raided on May 6, 2009 by two men wearing Halloween masks.

The costumed criminals sprayed a female employee and male customer with mace and threw a backpack behind the register counter which then ignited. While everything was quickly going up in flames, the men in masks causing mahem were reportedly heard laughing all the way to their getaway car, causing authorities to wonder if the Batmobile had, in fact, lost a wheel.

Police still have not put these scoundrels behind bars.

That's right. Giggling, porn-watching, mask-wearing men. Watch out, Gotham.

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7

Adult Bakery Burns to a Crisp, Customers Underwhelmed

All sorts of buns caught on fire at Naughty Novelties on January 26, 2010. All sorts.

A passerby in De Forest, Wisconsin who saw the adult bakery and novelty store ablaze called local firefighters to the spot where they were seen putting out the flames till early the next morning.

The store specialized in adult toys, magazine, lingerie and accessories. Oh, and baked goods. You know, the kind that looks just like your wife's vajay (but tastes like strawberry short cake...win!).

The entire structure was burnt, which doesn't say much because the store (converted from a gas station) was tiny to begin with.

But still, think of all the buns both on and off tape that were sizzled to pieces. Nothing hot about that. Except the burns, I suppose...

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8

What's That Smell? Hundreds of Burning D*ldos, Baby!

Norton Video, an adult video and novelty store in Norton, Ohio, was set on fire in broad daylight while employees and customers were inside. It was actually a customer who discovered the fire at the corner of the building when the store started to smell, as one employee put it, "like plastic burning."

Usually you would blame strange odors in a porn store (and this one had 250 private viewing booths, or as I like to call it, Spermschwitz) on the creepy dude "discreetly" loving himself it in the corner, but the scent of a thousand burning dildos isn't a naturally occurring human smell (so far as we know).

Fire Chief Mike Schultz (as well as a plethora of local, balding, middle-aged former patrons) declared the building "a total loss".

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