Total Nerd The 8 Most Dangerous And Deadly Flowers in Video Games  

Alan Lewis
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In honor of every outlet in the world making a "badass characters" list in honor of the manliest movie of the year coming out this month (The Expendables), we've gone the other way. What's the opposite of manly? Ponies. What's even girlier? Flowers. So since they get such a bad rap, here are the 8 most badass flowers in video game history. Wake up and smell the roses. The deadly, deadly roses.

The Bomb Flower, Legend of Zelda Series


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The Bomb Flower is so unbelievably badass because it is the exact type of flower that, if possible, we would send to a recent ex on their birthday with a card that reads "Boom".

The Bomb Flower is exactly what it sounds like. It's a flower that effing EXPLODES. That is its sole purpose. It's a flower, that grows and lives solely to be a bob-omb-style explosive that Link then uses throughout his travels to blow up bad guys and essentially save the world. The cool little bombs that were a special treat to lay whenever you could spare one in the original Legend of Zelda haven't let us down through various iterations of the saga and continue to be one of the greatest flowers in games.

Most flowers will have edible fruit, or fruit that is used for survival/procreation purposes... the Bomb Flower's fruit is raw material for BOMBS.

Needless to say, this flower is "The Bomb" and its fruits/sex life are nothing short of explosive (you're welcome).

Here's Link in Ocarina of Time, taking down HUGE enemies using this absolutely awesome flower.

Plant 42: Resident Evil


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Plant 42, the insanely large plant with tentacle-like vines (or is it vine-like tentacles) from the Resident Evil series which captures Chris Redfield in what is one of the funniest and most pathetic examples of in-game dialogue ever written in games, is undeniably among the most badass of flowers in games.

Please do yourself a favor, though, and watch this video, wait til the end to hear Rebecca (who is clearly a little mentally challenged) give Chris (who his being held by a man-eating, super strong and insanely hungry zombie-plant/flower thing while receiving little to no help from Rebecca and sacrificing himself so she can have a vile of something) some really, really good advice that will probably save his life.

Plant 42 (oh, will Hitchhiker's Guide references never grow old?... no, they wont) was infected with the T-Virus (the virus that gave all the zombies their zombie-disease in the Resident Evil franchise. It was part of an experiment of the Umbrella corporation (the science company that is all about "'coulda', not 'shoulda'" - P. Oswalt) on botanical plants. Because when you have a deadly virus, that's exactly where you go with it: plants.

Its roots are firmly in place throughout the entire building in this game and its enormous, flower-like nucleus are what gives it away as a reproductive organ of a plant. Cause it has squishy parts.

Why is this flower so badass? Well, other than all that was already said: it's essentially a Giant Squid. So there.

Petey Piranha and Piranha Plants, Super Smash Bros. Brawl


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Petey Piranha, and piranha plants in general are arguably some of the most badass fictional plants in history PERIOD.

Petey's the ultimate step in evolution of the Piranha Plant, a race of plants with pretty pedals, polkadot skin and a zombie-like starvation for the flesh of anything that comes near it.

Piranha plants in general have always jumped out of pipes while we're trying to jump over them, or they rhythmically jump out of water, making our life a living hell by creating sometimes insurmountable obstacles that lead us into using our timing-skills to get past them. Either way they're a pain in the ass and they have one thing on most other plants or antagonists that makes them just so effing badass:

Unless we have some kind of projectile weapon handy, this is one of the few antagonists in all of video games that's better to just RUN from and not confront.

For piranha plants in general, if you're not super powered, they can kill you with only one touch.

Petey, on the other hand, has legs and ridiculously strong arms which he uses to kick some serious ass.

Check out the Petey Piranha boss battle in this game of Super Smash Bros. The most badass part of the whole thing? When he slams the cages together as hard as he can to get Kirby's attention.

Brutal.

Honorable mention to the fire flower.

And for skilled botanists debating the "flowerness" of these bad boys, in Super Mario Land, they were called by their Japanese name "Pakkun Flower". C'mon, though, as if the petals didn't totally give them away.

Poison Ivy & Friends: Batman Arkham Asylum


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We can't seem to get away from angry, powerful flowers in video games. Poison Ivy's level in what is arguably the best superhero game of all time Batman Arkham Asylum is absolutely insane. Sure, she has levels in some other Batman games, but the intro to the one in Arkham Asylum made us all pee a little.

After covering the island with toxic plants, Poison Ivy goes one-on-one with Batman by melding with what is essentially a piranha plant (huge, anthropomorphic venus fly trap) flower that's the size of an elephant. She jumps into its mouth, thus dropping all of ours.

She then becomes one of the craziest, biggest and most insane flowers you'll ever have to fight in a game. The fact that in a game where you're BATMAN a flower is made THIS intimidating, makes it one of the most badass flowers in the history of games.


If she'd done this in Schumacher's Batman & Robin, at least we'd have some GREAT puppet work to watch when that comes on TNT on a Sunday mid-morning.