Planking may look like all the fun of reclining combined with the fun of socializing with your friends before and after reclining. But it can go wrong, SCORCHINGLY WRONG, leading to a variety of increasingly brutal planking fails.
Typically, these planking fails result merely in minor injury or the destruction of a beloved household appliance. But believe it or not, planking has also led to genuine real-world tragedies, such that you would expect a list about them to be more respectful and less jokey. Yet here we are.
So before you go out in search of truly plankable spots and set up your own website to show off, check out some of these brutal planking fails, and maybe think better about the whole thing. Just remember, it's really easy to throw together a meme submission and still feel like a part of the world of Internet comedy without the whole "risking potential humiliation and/or death" thing.
Kitchen Planking Fail
This planking incident, from July of 2011, reminds us why engaging in planking-style behavior within your own kitchen is kind of a no-no. A woman attempts to plank from her oven to her sink, not remembering that the laws of physics continue to apply, even when one is engaging in online-based hilarity.
After just a few seconds, she comes crashing down – and the oven, unfortunately, crashes down on top of her. Fortunately, it wasn't turned on at that time, or this could have been far more gruesomely tragic. (She smashed up her chin pretty good though). Undeterred, the plankstress felt good enough to give it another go, planking in the other direction, with head/arms on the sink and feet on the oven. Never give up, never surrender!
Bridge Planking Fail
This list includes a number of helpful planking tips. "Don't plank atop moving vehicles," for example. That's a good one. "Don't plan atop police vehicles either." That also makes a good amount of sense. Now we learn yet another handy suggestion – don't plank around your friends if they are mean-spirited tools.
A young gentleman attempts to plank on the side railing of a bridge, and actually does rather well at first, until a friend gives him a shove right down into the cold, murky waters below. (It's not that high... seems like he's going to be fine, although if you asked me, this is a recipe for catching the sniffles.)
What's with the friend, by the by, who asks the victim to remove his phone before they shove him off a bridge. You can't plank with a phone in your pocket? Are they genuinely more concerned about the well-being of the guy's Sidekick than his own personal health and well-being? The clear answer is yes.
Hollywood Riot Planking
OK, in a nutshell...
On July 27th, 2011, a premiere was held in Hollywood for a film called Electric Daily Carnival Experience. It's a documentary about the annual electronic music festival The Electric Daisy Carnival. As part of the premiere event, a DJ named Kaskade had planned to do a little of what the kids call "spinning," and then there was going to be an invitation-only afterparty at a nearby club, Supperclub, on Hollywood Blvd.
Kaskade, though, decided to take to what the kids call "The Twitter" and inform the world that he was hosting a block party at Hollywood and Highland, one of the busiest intersections in Los Angeles. And then a lot of people showed up. A lot. Probably too many. And the police responded, in riot gear, and things sort of spiraled out of control, culminating in some vandalism and general civil disobedience.
And what better way to celebrate a riot breaking out during a set by a guy named "Kaskade" than a little old-school LAPD planking? Seriously, in one single generation, American riots went from the Civil Rights Movement to lying down on Hollywood Blvd. in front of cops shooting bean bags because you wanted to hang out and hear a DJ play a bit longer. Yeesh.
Police Car Planking Fail
Add "Thou Shalt Not Plank on a Police Car" to the list of Planking Commandments. Also, just general life lessons.
The thing is, despite their well-earned reputation for having a great sense of humor about everything, cops don't actually find people planking on their rides all that amusing. Is planking worth getting thrown in the slammer? (Don't answer yet... Picture any scene from HBO's landmark prison series "Oz." OK, now answer.)The suspect was actually the first person in Australia to be arrested on a "planking-related charge." So she can just wear that one as a badge of courage. Even Corey Worthington gets arrested for more serious stuff than this.