After having over 200 casual encounters (and counting) under his belt, a veteran of the Craigslist Casual Encounters section (where people go on to meet with strangers and have anonymous sex) outlines all of the best how-tos and don't-dos of one of the most infamous places on the internet. From what all the lingo means, to what kind of posts to stay away from, to how to fish through the best responses, here's a beginner's guide on cruising the Craigslist personals section with success. For more dating ideas, check out this list of the Best Dating Sites. Good luck and be safe.
Craigslist Mostly Sucks For Straight People
Straight people have it way easier than us gay people in most respects. You can get married, aren't hated by religious nutjobs and your days all probably end a lot sooner than ours do.
Homegirl on the left can do a lot better than that
However, when it comes to getting casual online sexual hook ups, we have it SO much easier than you (or, since this is all about craigslist, I'll just say Str8s, to keep with the lingo.)
Women by and large just don't go looking for casual sex like men do, most likely because they can, for the most part, get it on the street fairly easily if they're looking for a man. So while there is a section for Women Seeking Men (W4M), even for a casual encounter they are likely expecting dinner and drinks first, and the appearance of respectability.
Also, most women posting on casual encounters are A: Hookers or B:Girls operating webcams they expect you to pay for (aka spam).
The reason so many str8 men indulge their bi-curiosity (which you will come to learn and learn well throughout this piece) on Craigslist is that they simply get fed up looking for women only to get scammed over and over again. Most posts by men under M4W go ignored or are only answered by the previously mentioned hookers and webcam girls, and sometimes the occasional horribly unfortunate-looking real woman looking for a casual good time. it's like seeing a unicorn, only if unicorns looked a little more like this little guy.
And yet, you always have to send them pics first
I know beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but most women actually looking for sex on Craigslist (from everyone I know who's actually met up with one) really aren't the type to socialize beyond a certain point or even know to look (or groom) past a certain... hygiene level.
I'm not saying it is impossible to meet an attractive woman on CL, I suppose if you keep trying it'll eventually happen. But same goes with meeting anyone you'll find attractive in pretty much any situation.
Don't expect success on your first try, your second or your twentieth. That's really just the way it is. In the meantime, there are plenty of us gay guys on M4M who might be happy to take care of your needs. And you don't even have to buy us a drink.
Know Your Craigslist Terminology
We live in an age of abbreviated words and phrases, mostly due to the wonderful world of the internet, which is still something "new", I don't care how many of you kids grew up with it. Anyway, no place on earth exemplifies this culture of abbreviation more than the Craigslist personals section, or the "Casual Encounters" section.
There are several CL shorthand terms, but I'd say these are some of the essentials. For example, NSA does not refer to the National Security Agency on Craigslist, it means No Strings Attached. DDF means "drug and disease free" (this is big in M4M encounters. Oh, M4M is Men for Men btw. You do know what btw is though right??)
HWP is Height/Weight Proportionate, which is just a fancier way of saying "I’m not built, but I’m not fat."
ISO is In Search Of.
Over in straight craigslist land, BBW is Big Beautiful Women.
ABR/ANR = Adult Breastfeeding Relationship/Adult Nursing Relationship. (And you say we gays like weird sex sh*t. Pfffft.)
After you know the lingo it's really just about making a post, including an image and waiting for fish to bite. Having a picture on there is really important, as a lot of people filter out the submissions without photos.
Much dumber people than you and I have figured out how to do this, so I'm going to focus on how not to make horrible mistakes while using this... resource. Starting with the people to avoid at all costs...
If there is one CL abbreviation that you want to avoid, it would be the one in entry #3....
Avoid PNP Listings
PNP, in craigslist parlance, stands for "party 'n play" which stands for sex while high on drugs. And 90% of the time, that drug refers to crystal meth.
While PNP could technically refer to marijuana, the average stoner will usually just say "420 Friendly" instead.
Now, I’m not gonna say I’ve never hooked up with someone on tweek; as a nite owl it’ll happen from time to time even though I don't go out looking for it.
And as twitchy and annoying as they can be... the plus side is that they last a long time. For someone like me who hates quickies, I suppose that can come in handy. But that kind of weirdly numb stamina can also be detrimental.
If you’re the bottom (straight people: bottom means the person who is, how would we say, "receiving") one of the problems hooking up with tweekers is that the speed they are taking prevents them from finishing quickly. So they can bang away, turn it over and then bang even harder until the condom literally breaks and then you’ve just had unprotected intercourse with a junkie. From Craigslist.
And if they’re on meth, they’re almost certainly a junkie… pretty much no one does that kind of thing on just a "recreational" basis.
"Oh, you know, just thinking about work!
Also, anyone looking for "Tina" or wanting to party with "Tina" -that's just another word for meth.
Anyone using a random capital letter T in an ad is looking to get high.
Example: leT's have fun TonighT= let's get high and screw all night
For those of you wondering why meth is referred to as Tina, it sort of stands for one-sixTEENth of an ounce, a common amount to buy. "Teenth", over time, evolved into just "Tina".
People Looking For Generous Men Are Prostitutes
Whenever you see an ad on craigslist advertising someone looking for "generous men" or just "gen," it can only mean one thing: The person placing the ad is a prostitute, and "generous" is just thinly veiled code for "give me money to let you do funny stuff to me". Please excuse my adult language.
While all manner of sexual proclivities are widely available on Craigslist, the truth is prostitution is still illegal in this country, and any advertisement looking explicitly for payment for sex will be pulled by the moderators on craigslist.
So, 21st century people of the night get around this by saying "looking for generous or gen."
Also, the word "roses" is code for dollars.
So when a post says "I’ll blow you for fifty roses" well…now you know they ain’t really looking for flowers from Conroy's. Also, anyone using dollar signs in their po$ts are also prostitutes. So if it says something like "Looking For Nice Guy$" you’d best move on, unless you’re willing to get your wallet out, and also run the risk that the ad is bait for a sting operation.
You have been warned.