- 1Up 60Down 7Itchy and Scratchy Land“ Welcome to Itchy and Scratchyland, where nothing can possib-lie go wrong. PossibLY go wrong. That's the first thing that's ever gone wrong. „
- 2Up 60Down 10Selma's Choice“ Come to Duff Gardens, where roaming gangs aren't a big problem anymore! „
- 3Up 45Down 10Brush With Greatness“ I wanna go to Mount Splashmore, take me take me take me take me now! Now now now now now! Mount Splashmore take me there right now! „
- 4Up 40Down 8Bart the Daredevil“ Bart: Otto, I'm going to jump Springfield Gorge on my skateboard.
Otto: You know, Bart, as the only adult here, I feel I should say something?
Otto: Cool! „
- 5Up 45Down 12Marge Vs The Monorail“ "And that was the only folly the people of Springfield ever embarked upon. Except for the popsicle stick skyscraper. And the 50-foot magnifying glass. And that escalator to nowhere.'' „
- 6Up 46Down 15Duffless“ Duff beer is brewed from hopps, barley, and sparkling clear mountain what? „
- 7Up 38Down 11
- 8Up 34Down 9Wild Barts Can't Be Broken“ "Wait a minute, Duff owns the Springfield Isotopes? Since when?"
"They bought 'em a year ago from the Mafia. It was the last of the family-owned teams." „
- 9Up 36Down 11Old Money“ "Where logic takes a holiday and all laws of nature are meaningless." „
- 10Up 33Down 11The Old Man and the "C" Student“ Springfield is home to the state's largest self-sustaining tire fire, which has been burning continuously since 1989. „
- 11Up 27Down 8Dead Putting Society“ Come on, Bart! Remember what Vince Lombardi said: If you lose, you're out of the family! „
- 12Up 29Down 10
The MurderhornKing of the Hill
- 13Up 35Down 15$pringfield“ Homer: Marge, we need to talk. You're spending too much time at the casino and I think you may have a problem.
Marge: I won sixty dollars last night!
Homer: Woo-hoo! Problem solved. „
- 14Up 28Down 10The Bob Next Door
- 15Up 28Down 10The Lemon of Troy“ And with that, a mighty cheer went up from the heroes of Shelbyville. They had banished the awful lemon tree forever, because it was haunted. Now let's all celebrate with a cool glass of turnip juice. „
- 16Up 25Down 10Bart Gets Famous“ I'm Kent Brockman, on the eleven o'clock news tonight...a certain kind of soft drink has been found to be lethal, we won't tell you which one until after sports and the weather with funny Sonny Storm. „
- 17Up 25Down 11“ Squaresville sounds pretty cool. „
- 18Up 27Down 13Marge vs. the Monorail“ "And that was the only folly the people of Springfield ever embarked upon. Except for the popsicle stick skyscraper. And the 50-foot magnifying glass. And that escalator to nowhere.'' „
- 19Up 30Down 16“ Many interesting and important things have been put into boxes over the years: textiles, other boxes, even children's candy.
Milhouse: Do any of these boxes have candy in them?
Milhouse: Will they ever?
Guide: No, we only make boxes to ship nails. Any other questions? „
- 20Up 24Down 11My Sister, My Sitter“ Home to Turban Outfitters, Have It Uruguay, The Karachi Hibachi, an Itchy and Scratchy Store and, of course, Bloaters at the Squidport. „
- 21Up 18Down 9Marge Vs. The Monorail“ "And that was the only folly the people of Springfield ever embarked upon. Except for the popsicle stick skyscraper. And the 50-foot magnifying glass. And that escalator to nowhere.'' „
- 22Up 23Down 15Lost Our Lisa“ I should've got off at Crackton. „
- 23Up 17Down 10Treehouse of Horror XII“ Where hard-working immigrants dream of becoming lazy, overfed Americans. „
- 24Up 18Down 11I Don't Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings“ Includes such rides as: Dilbert's Flying Cubicle, You mama's rolls ,The Viking Boats and It's a Long Line „
- 25Up 18Down 12A Fish Called Selma“ Our Stamens are a Pistil! „
- 26Up 17Down 12Burns, Baby Burns“ Many people don't know the difference between apple cider and apple juice. Here's a little trick to help you remember. If it's clear and yella', you've got juice there, fella! If it's tangy and brown, you're in cider town. Now, there's two exceptions and it gets kinda tricky here ... can be yellow, if they're using late season apples. And, of course, in Canada, the whole thing's flip-flopped. „
- 27Up 21Down 16Itchy and Scratchy Land“ I've already planned our vacation for this year. We're going to the Highway 9 Bird Sanctuary. I understand they've installed a new bird feeder this year. „
- 28Up 17Down 13The Girl Who Slept Too Little“ I can't believe it took us forty minutes to get here. Why can't they build a stamp museum closer to our house? „
- 29Up 17Down 13The Springfield Files“ Red Tick Beer - Suck One Dry „
- 30Up 15Down 11I Married Marge
- 31Up 14Down 13I'm Goin' To Praiseland“ Any religion that embraces carob is not for Carl Carlson! „
- 32Up 1Down 1
- 33Up 1Down 1TV Episode
- 34Up 0Down 6TV Program
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