- 1Up 47Down 3“ Welcome to Itchy and Scratchyland, where nothing can possib-lie go wrong. PossibLY go wrong. That's the first thing that's ever gone wrong. „
- 2Up 50Down 6“ Come to Duff Gardens, where roaming gangs aren't a big problem anymore! „
- 3Up 37Down 5“ I wanna go to Mount Splashmore, take me take me take me take me now! Now now now now now! Mount Splashmore take me there right now! „
- 4Up 34Down 7“ "And that was the only folly the people of Springfield ever embarked upon. Except for the popsicle stick skyscraper. And the 50-foot magnifying glass. And that escalator to nowhere.'' „
- 5Up 31Down 5“ Bart: Otto, I'm going to jump Springfield Gorge on my skateboard.
Otto: You know, Bart, as the only adult here, I feel I should say something?
Otto: Cool! „
- 6Up 35Down 11“ Duff beer is brewed from hopps, barley, and sparkling clear mountain what? „
- 7Up 29Down 7“ "Where logic takes a holiday and all laws of nature are meaningless." „
- 8Up 30Down 9“ Homer: Marge, we need to talk. You're spending too much time at the casino and I think you may have a problem.
Marge: I won sixty dollars last night!
Homer: Woo-hoo! Problem solved. „
- 9Up 27Down 7“ Springfield is home to the state's largest self-sustaining tire fire, which has been burning continuously since 1989. „
- 10Up 24Down 5“ And with that, a mighty cheer went up from the heroes of Shelbyville. They had banished the awful lemon tree forever, because it was haunted. Now let's all celebrate with a cool glass of turnip juice. „
- 11Up 25Down 6“ "Wait a minute, Duff owns the Springfield Isotopes? Since when?"
"They bought 'em a year ago from the Mafia. It was the last of the family-owned teams." „
- 12Up 25Down 6“ Grampa: Son, don't go up that mountain! You'll die up there like I did!
Homer: You? Did?
Grampa: Sure. „
- 13Up 27Down 8
- 14Up 22Down 4“ Come on, Bart! Remember what Vince Lombardi said: If you lose, you're out of the family! „
- 15Up 21Down 5
- 16Up 23Down 7“ Squaresville sounds pretty cool. „
- 17Up 24Down 8“ "And that was the only folly the people of Springfield ever embarked upon. Except for the popsicle stick skyscraper. And the 50-foot magnifying glass. And that escalator to nowhere.'' „
- 18Up 26Down 10“ Many interesting and important things have been put into boxes over the years: textiles, other boxes, even children's candy.
Milhouse: Do any of these boxes have candy in them?
Milhouse: Will they ever?
Guide: No, we only make boxes to ship nails. Any other questions? „
- 19Up 21Down 6“ Home to Turban Outfitters, Have It Uruguay, The Karachi Hibachi, an Itchy and Scratchy Store and, of course, Bloaters at the Squidport. „
- 20Up 20Down 7“ I'm Kent Brockman, on the eleven o'clock news tonight...a certain kind of soft drink has been found to be lethal, we won't tell you which one until after sports and the weather with funny Sonny Storm. „
- 21Up 19Down 9“ I should've got off at Crackton. „
- 22Up 16Down 7“ Our Stamens are a Pistil! „
- 23Up 14Down 6“ "And that was the only folly the people of Springfield ever embarked upon. Except for the popsicle stick skyscraper. And the 50-foot magnifying glass. And that escalator to nowhere.'' „
- 24Up 16Down 8“ Many people don't know the difference between apple cider and apple juice. Here's a little trick to help you remember. If it's clear and yella', you've got juice there, fella! If it's tangy and brown, you're in cider town. Now, there's two exceptions and it gets kinda tricky here ... can be yellow, if they're using late season apples. And, of course, in Canada, the whole thing's flip-flopped. „
- 25Up 15Down 8“ Includes such rides as: Dilbert's Flying Cubicle, You mama's rolls ,The Viking Boats and It's a Long Line „
- 26Up 19Down 12“ I've already planned our vacation for this year. We're going to the Highway 9 Bird Sanctuary. I understand they've installed a new bird feeder this year. „
- 27Up 13Down 7“ Where hard-working immigrants dream of becoming lazy, overfed Americans. „
- 28Up 13Down 7“ Any religion that embraces carob is not for Carl Carlson! „
- 29Up 14Down 9“ I can't believe it took us forty minutes to get here. Why can't they build a stamp museum closer to our house? „
- 30Up 12Down 7
- 31Up 13Down 9“ Red Tick Beer - Suck One Dry „
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