- 1+ 14- 0
EvelleEvelle: Do these blow into funny shapes and all?
Grocer: Well, no, unless round is funny.
- 2+ 21- 1
Hayseed in the PickupSon, you got a panty on your head.
- 3+ 18- 1
Machine Shop Earbender Added by: dubierMachine Shop Ear-Bender: So we were doin' paramedical work in affiliation with the state highway system. Not actual practice, you understand. And me & Bill were patrolling down Nine Miles.
H.I.: Bill Roberts?
Machine Shop Ear-Bender: No, not that mother-scratcher. Bill Parker. Anyway, we're approaching the wreck, and there's this spherical object a restin' in the highway. And it's not a piece of the car.
- 4+ 7- 0
Nathan Arizona Sr.You got a table and chairs, you gotta dinette set. You gotta table and no chairs, you got dick.
- 5+ 7- 0
DotRay, you take that diaper off your head and you put it back on your sister!
- 6+ 6- 0
Nathan Arizona Sr.Of course he was wearing his jammies nobody sleeps naked in this house.
- 7+ 9- 1
Nathan Arizona Sr.Hell, they're all disgruntled. I aint running no damn daisy farm. My motto is "Do it my way or watch your butt!"
- 8+ 8- 1
EvelleH.I., you're young and you got your health, what you want with a job?
- 9+ 8- 1
H.I.And this here's the TV. Two hours a day, either educational or football, so you don't ruin your appreciation of the finer things.
- 10+ 7- 1
GlennSay that reminds me, how'd you get that kid so darn fast? Me and Dot went in to adopt on account a' somethin' went wrong with my semen, and they said we had to wait five years for a healthy white baby. I said, "Healthy white baby? Five years? What else you got?" Said they got two Koreans and a negra born with his heart on the outside. It's a crazy world.
- 11+ 7- 1
H.I.There's right and there's right and never the t'wain shall meet.
- 12+ 4- 1
Glenn Added by: MilhouseVanHautenOkay. That's a disease, but you got a cure. Doctor Glen is here to tell you that you can heal thy self.
- 13+ 4- 1
Gale Added by: dubierI know you're partial to convenient stores, but dammit, H.I., the sun doesn't rise and set on the corner grocery.
- 14+ 4- 1
EvelleAwfully fine cereal flakes ya got, Mrs. McDonough.
- 15+ 3- 0
I don't really need another kid, but Dot says these are gettin' too big to cuddle. Added by: Bootsdad
- 16+ 3- 0
Nathan Arizona Sr.Dammit, are you boys gonna chase down your leads or are you gonna sit drinkin' coffee in the one house in the state where I know my boy ain't at?
- 17+ 3- 1
Leonard SmallsCops won't find your boy. A cop couldn't find his butt if it had a bell on it. You want to find an outlaw, hire an outlaw. You want to find a Dunkin' Donuts, call a cop.