Tags: sports, super bowl, San Francisco 49ers, Baltimore Ravens, NFL, football, drinking games, 49ers, ravens, top 10, harbaugh
The Booziest Super Bowl 2013 Drinking Game
Robert Wabash The countdown to the big game, Super Bowl XLVII, is on and there's nothing you will need more on game day than a solid drinking plan. Ok, you're going to need, like, a TV, snacks, people, and booze to have said drinking game, but dammit, the drinking game is what's going to bring all those other elements together in perfectly chaotic harmony.
We all know the basics of the game by now: Coach Harbaugh's team will take on Coach Harbaugh's team at the Superdome and no one really cares because there will not be a Manning at QB for either side. Oh, and Beyonce will lipsync something at halftime. Did I get it? Nailed it.
Now that you know the basics, let's get into the specifics of how you're going to get strategically drunk throughout the broadcast as the events of the game and the choices of the producers turn into a glorious telecast that's more about commercials and gambling than the game for AT LEAST 50% of the viewers.
This Super Bowl drinking game is here to make the showdown between the Ravens and the 49ers just a little bit more watchable, and of course, to get you drunk. Go into this drinking game with a "clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose" mentality and you just might make it through halftime without cursing the elder Harbaughs for ever procreating.
We all know the basics of the game by now: Coach Harbaugh's team will take on Coach Harbaugh's team at the Superdome and no one really cares because there will not be a Manning at QB for either side. Oh, and Beyonce will lipsync something at halftime. Did I get it? Nailed it.
Now that you know the basics, let's get into the specifics of how you're going to get strategically drunk throughout the broadcast as the events of the game and the choices of the producers turn into a glorious telecast that's more about commercials and gambling than the game for AT LEAST 50% of the viewers.
This Super Bowl drinking game is here to make the showdown between the Ravens and the 49ers just a little bit more watchable, and of course, to get you drunk. Go into this drinking game with a "clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose" mentality and you just might make it through halftime without cursing the elder Harbaughs for ever procreating.
List Criteria: Don't cheat yourself! There's beer on the line!
- 1
The Game is Referred to as "The Harbowl"
This is going to happen so many times, you should probably have 911 on standby if you decide to drink every time it's uttered. Drinking every second Harbowl is probably a sound recommendation here. - 2
Jim Harbaugh (the One From the 49ers) Throws Something
Whether his team is winning or losing, Jim Harbaugh loves to throw stuff. It's as natural as drinking a beer. So take a drink every time he throws something.BONUS: If he throws something that hits somebody, take two drinks. - 3
Colin Kaepernick's Tattoos Are Discussed
One drink if the announcers talk about it. Two drinks if Harbaugh talks about them. Finish your drink if the Niners win and he has some kind of Brandi Chastain moment and takes his jersey off in the course of revelry. - 4
Someone Discusses the Newest Performance Enhancing Drug, Deer Antlers
Head butt your neighbor, then take a drink. - 5
An Announcer Mentions How Not Fat the Ravens Cheerleaders Look
So maybe you heard that one of the veteran Ravens cheerleaders was supposedly excluded from the Super Bowl squad for gaining too much weight. We're going to assume this is true and suggest that you take a drink and eat a chicken wing in solidarity every time it's discussed.
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