The Epic Fails that Punctuate Our Lives By Lillian Behrendt  [16 more lists]

The first mistake we all make, is, of course, leaving the nice, warm, cozy good life for a scary world in which we grow up to f**k up.

A controversial claim, I know, but we've all regretted it at one point or another.

Something, whether it's going with your mom to the salon or being sick of your hair getting in your eyes, inspires you to take your little round-tipped scissors to your own tiny child head.

When mom or dad finds you, they scream in horror and drag you as fast as they can to the nearest Supercuts to rectify the situation.

"Promise me never to do that again."

And you promise...for now...

Wow, I'm so glad this never happened to me.

But it happens to other people all of the time. People who are reckless, clumsy and naive.

Sometimes these foolish people w**k it in public rooms of the house. Or neglect to lock the bathroom door.

I imagine things are never quite the same afterwards.

I'm SO GLAD this never happened to me.

Yes, it sucks to be a teen. Your parents don't get you, your teachers are always on your back, the kids at school think you're weird, you're way horny, totally emotional, and covered in greasy pimples.

Adolescence is a time of rebellion. You think back to all the things your parents told you not to do: drinking, drugs, smoking, crossing the street recklessly, and...cutting your own hair.

Why shouldn't you cut your own hair? It would probably look cool anyways! Totally rock and roll/punk/new wave/grunge/indie/emo/goth/whateversubcultureyoufeelyousubcribeto.

Yeah, I know that one really well. (I did it so much I got pretty good at cutting my own hair!) Senior year of high school, I wanted to shave half my head...with a leg razor...at 4 in the morning instead of doing my homework. It didn't turn out so great. (see picture)

You look back in embarrassment and shake your head. If you never did the self-haircut 2, you probably still made some sort of hairror in your teen years.

You just passed your license test and boy are you proud!

You're driving the speed limit, making full stops at stop signs, signaling and watching out for pedestrians.

And then when you're not paying attention, you hear a horrible scraping sound. You have hit a parked car.

You panic! You're a new driver! Your parents will never let you drive again! What do you do? Leave a note? Call your insurance company?

You look around and see no witnesses, no cameras. Your heart pounding, you drive away.

For weeks, every time you hear a cop car, you think they're coming after you. You fantasize about a run for the border, a fugitive from justice. But as time passes, you realize that you've gotten away with it. Your innocence, however, has been lost forever.