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The Funniest Ron Swanson Quotes
Movie and TV Quotes Ron Swanson, the bacon-loving, pyramid-touting boss on NBC's hilarious sitcom 'Parks and Recreation,' has GOT to be one of the funniest and most quotable characters on television. Looking for the funniest Ron Swanson quotes? You've come to the right place. Nick Offerman's portrayal of the (let's face it) totally moronic Ron Swanson brings big laughs for fans of the show. And if you aren't a fan - become one. Now. 'Parks and Recreation' is one of the most cleverly written sitcoms in years!
Without furthur adieu, we present some nuggets of wisdom from Ron Swanson, via his often disturbing and hysterically funny quotes!
For more fans of small government, here's Ranker user Mr Porcupine's List of LIbertarian Celebrities.
http://www.ranker.com/list/libertarian-celebrities/mrporcupine
Without furthur adieu, we present some nuggets of wisdom from Ron Swanson, via his often disturbing and hysterically funny quotes!
For more fans of small government, here's Ranker user Mr Porcupine's List of LIbertarian Celebrities.
http://www.ranker.com/list/libertarian-celebrities/mrporcupine
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Ron Swanson on Taxes Added by: Lons
Ron: "This is your lunch. You should be able to do whatever you want to with this, right?...But here I come, the government, and I get to take 40% of your lunch. And that, Lauren, is how taxes work."
Then Ron eats the little girl's lunch. Also, a bit more than 40% to compensate for Capital Gains Tax. - 7Up 2Down 0
Teach a Man to Fish
Ron: "I am only here because I owe Leslie a thousand favors. I'm not big on charities. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He’s a grown man. Fishing’s not that hard."
Such a generous man, our Ron Swanson. A true American hero! - 8Up 2Down 0
Born Ready
April: (enters Ron's office) "Yo, I had to wait until my dad fell asleep so I could steal his keys."
Ron: "I was born ready. I'm Ron F**king Swanson."
Poor April. Ron's been sitting in his office chair all day, suffering from a hernia - and it's HER job, as an intern, to take him and his born-ready, douche-bag self, to the ER? - 9Up 3Down 2
Child Labor Laws
Ron: "I got my first job when I was nine, I worked at a sheet metal factory. In two weeks, I was running the floor. Child labor laws are ruining this country."
Ron's ideal employee at the parks department would probably be a child under the age of 10 who likes heavy labor. - 10Up 3Down 2
The Ideal Night Out
Ron: "An ideal night out, to me, is stepping onto my porch area and grilling up a thick slab of something’s flesh and then popping in a highlight real from the WNBA."
Any wonder this douche has been divorced - twice? We didn't think so. -
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The Funniest Ron Swanson Quotes at 12/20/2012 3:30 PM
The Funniest Ron Swanson Quotes at 8/19/2012 2:30 AM
The Funniest Ron Swanson Quotes at 3/27/2012 5:41 AM
What the author really means here is "I wonder how this douche has been divorced twice, and I can't even find a girlfriend."
Maybe because you look like a neck-bearded basement-dweller.
The Ideal Night Out at 9/22/2011 3:53 PM
The Funniest Ron Swanson Quotes at 9/21/2011 10:11 AM
The Funniest Ron Swanson Quotes at 7/13/2011 4:23 PM
If you want a list featuring real libertarian quotes check out:
http://www.ranker.com/list/the-best-ron-paul-quotes/keaton