- 6Up 6Down 4
Ron Swanson on Taxes Added by: LonsRon: "This is your lunch. You should be able to do whatever you want to with this, right?...But here I come, the government, and I get to take 40% of your lunch. And that, Lauren, is how taxes work."
Then Ron eats the little girl's lunch. Also, a bit more than 40% to compensate for Capital Gains Tax.
- 7Up 2Down 0
Teach a Man to Fish
- 8Up 2Down 0
Born ReadyApril: (enters Ron's office) "Yo, I had to wait until my dad fell asleep so I could steal his keys."
Ron: "I was born ready. I'm Ron F**king Swanson."
Poor April. Ron's been sitting in his office chair all day, suffering from a hernia - and it's HER job, as an intern, to take him and his born-ready, douche-bag self, to the ER?
- 9Up 3Down 2
Child Labor LawsRon: "I got my first job when I was nine, I worked at a sheet metal factory. In two weeks, I was running the floor. Child labor laws are ruining this country."
Ron's ideal employee at the parks department would probably be a child under the age of 10 who likes heavy labor.
- 10Up 3Down 2
The Ideal Night OutRon: "An ideal night out, to me, is stepping onto my porch area and grilling up a thick slab of something’s flesh and then popping in a highlight real from the WNBA."
Any wonder this douche has been divorced - twice? We didn't think so.
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