The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes TV Programs

The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

By 2.5k votes 279 voters 28k views 50 items tags f p @
Seinfeld is arguably one of the funniest sitcoms ever, and inarguably one of the best quote-able comedies of all time. I put together a small sampling of some of the best quotes on the show, and yes, it is missing a LOT... because, come on. I have a job. (But I did manage to put in the ones I love the most that I could remember.) So, please, add your favorite quotes to the list and vote on the ones that are the best, most iconic, greatest quotes of the show's history. It's hard, I know, because so much of the funniest stuff is full bits... but if you want, go ahead and add those. Your discretion. Just the funniest, most hilariously funny stuff from Seinfeld is the only rule!

Check out more lists like all of the greatest TV shows ever made, the most hilarious TV shows and the best British TV shows
List Photo: user uploaded image
  • 2 ReRanks
    • Women
    • Men
    • Age
    • Region
  • 2 See list ranked by
Z
G Options B Comments & Embed
  1. 1
    + 96
    - 25
    The sea was angry that day my ... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
  2. 2
    + 93
    - 25
    Looking at cleavage is like lo... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
  3. 3
    + 91
    - 26
    Jerry, just remember, it's not... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
  4. 4
    + 62
    - 12
    No Soup for You is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

    added by udontneedtoknowmyname

  5. 5
    + 69
    - 19
    I need the secure packaging of... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
  6. 6
    + 77
    - 24
    When you look annoyed all the ... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
  7. 7
    + 65
    - 17
    You know the message you're se... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
  8. 8
    + 58
    - 15
    Boy, these pretzels are makin'... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
  9. 9
    + 59
    - 16
    I have a bad feeling that when... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
  10. 10
    + 50
    - 13

    added by birdiejay23
    "Kramer"

  11. 11
    + 56
    - 18
    You're killing independent Geo... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
  12. 12
    + 57
    - 19
    You know I always wanted to pr... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
  13. 13
    + 36
    - 6
    No image

    added by looksharp
    Jerry

  14. 14
    + 38
    - 8
    SERENITY NOW! is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

    added by taichungcanuck
    Frank Costanza

  15. 15
    + 45
    - 13
    I'm much more comfortable crit... is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
  16. 16
    + 56
    - 22
    Yada yada yada is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
  17. 17
    + 34
    - 9
    No image

    added by falsedawn
    "Teri Hatcher" 

  18. 18
    + 30
    - 6
    No image
  19. 19
    + 37
    - 14
    You should've seen her face. I... is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
  20. 20
    + 34
    - 12
    I hate asking for change. They... is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
  21. 21
    + 40
    - 18
    Did you know that the original... is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
  22. 22
    + 40
    - 19
    No image

    added by jr4150
    "Jerry"

  23. 23
    + 38
    - 18
    You, my friend, have crossed t... is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
  24. 24
    + 36
    - 17
    Elaine, breaking up is like kn... is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
  25. 25
    + 25
    - 8
    No image

    added by looksharp
    Jerry

  26. 26
    + 25
    - 8
    No image

    added by looksharp
    Elaine

  27. 27
    + 32
    - 15
    No image
  28. 28
    + 34
    - 19
    People don't just bump into ea... is listed (or ranked) 28 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
  29. 29
    + 29
    - 15
    Why should I hire you to be my... is listed (or ranked) 29 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
  30. 30
    + 29
    - 15
    I want to be the one person wh... is listed (or ranked) 30 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
  31. 31
    + 31
    - 17
    I can't go to a bad movie by m... is listed (or ranked) 31 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
  32. 32
    + 17
    - 5
    No image

    added by looksharp
    Elaine

  33. 33
    + 17
    - 6
    No image

    added by looksharp
    George

  34. 34
    + 26
    - 16
    That's the true spirit of Chri... is listed (or ranked) 34 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
  35. 35
    + 8
    - 1
    It's festivus for the rest of ... is listed (or ranked) 35 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

    added by slaft
    It's festivus for the rest of us Frank

  36. 36
    + 24
    - 17
    Nobody drives like me. Nobody.... is listed (or ranked) 36 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
  37. 37
    + 27
    - 20
    Do you ever get down on your k... is listed (or ranked) 37 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
  38. 38
    + 10
    - 4
    No image

    added by woogyjones50

  39. 39
    + 20
    - 15
    Sex, that’s meaningless, I can... is listed (or ranked) 39 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
  40. 40
    + 26
    - 22
    Look to the cookie, Elaine! is listed (or ranked) 40 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
  41. 41
    + 5
    - 1
    No image

    added by slaft
    when you control the mail you control information Newman

  42. 42
    + 21
    - 18
  43. 43
    + 18
    - 15
    Parking at a garage is like go... is listed (or ranked) 43 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
  44. 44
    + 6
    - 4
    Sweet fancy Moses is listed (or ranked) 44 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

    added by jdathenscsr

  45. 45
    + 20
    - 20
    Women don't respect salad eate... is listed (or ranked) 45 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
  46. 46
    + 17
    - 18
    The carpet sweeper is the bigg... is listed (or ranked) 46 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
  47. 47
    + 1
    - 1
    Is not you, It´s me. Geo... is listed (or ranked) 47 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

    new! & added by AndreNava
    Is not you, It´s me. George

  48. 48
    + 15
    - 17
    You are way past the phone cal... is listed (or ranked) 48 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
  49. 49
    + 1
    - 2
    My wallets gone is listed (or ranked) 49 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

    added by slaft
    My wallets gone Morty

  50. 50
    + 17
    - 20
    My friend Jay Reimenschneider ... is listed (or ranked) 50 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
51 +

Something missing? Add it!

L List Options B Comments & Embed z Share Next List >