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comedy The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes  

Desertrat89
2.9k votes 348 voters 37k views 50 items Follow Embed
Seinfeld is arguably one of the funniest sitcoms ever, and inarguably one of the best quote-able comedies of all time. I put together a small sampling of some of the best quotes on the show, and yes, it is missing a LOT... because, come on. I have a job. (But I did manage to put in the ones I love the most that I could remember.) So, please, add your favorite quotes to the list and vote on the ones that are the best, most iconic, greatest quotes of the show's history. It's hard, I know, because so much of the funniest stuff is full bits... but if you want, go ahead and add those. Your discretion. Just the funniest, most hilariously funny stuff from Seinfeld is the only rule!

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list ordered by

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Looking at cleavage is like lo... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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The sea was angry that day my ... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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Jerry, just remember, it's not... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

4
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No Soup for You is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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When you look annoyed all the ... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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I have a bad feeling that when... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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You know the message you're se... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

8
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Boy, these pretzels are makin'... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

9
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I need the secure packaging of... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

10
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Hello, Newman. is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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I'm Out "Kramer"

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SERENITY NOW! is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
SERENITY NOW! Frank Costanza

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You're killing independent Geo... is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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You know I always wanted to pr... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

15
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I'm much more comfortable crit... is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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Yada yada yada is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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We're Not Gay. Not That There'... is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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They're Real.....and They're S... is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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Did you know that the original... is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

20
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Elaine, breaking up is like kn... is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

21
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You should've seen her face. I... is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

22
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He's a re-gifter. is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

23
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She has man hands. is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

24
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Every instinct I have, in ever... is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

25
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I hate asking for change. They... is listed (or ranked) 25 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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Dolores! is listed (or ranked) 26 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
Dolores! "Jerry"

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when you control the mail you ... is listed (or ranked) 27 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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Why should I hire you to be my... is listed (or ranked) 28 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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I can't go to a bad movie by m... is listed (or ranked) 29 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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You, my friend, have crossed t... is listed (or ranked) 30 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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He's a close talker. is listed (or ranked) 31 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

32
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Worlds are colliding. is listed (or ranked) 32 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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People don't just bump into ea... is listed (or ranked) 33 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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I want to be the one person wh... is listed (or ranked) 34 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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That's the true spirit of Chri... is listed (or ranked) 36 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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Do you ever get down on your k... is listed (or ranked) 37 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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Nobody drives like me. Nobody.... is listed (or ranked) 38 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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He took it out. is listed (or ranked) 39 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

40
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Parking at a garage is like go... is listed (or ranked) 40 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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Sex, that’s meaningless, I can... is listed (or ranked) 41 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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Sweet fancy Moses is listed (or ranked) 43 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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Look to the cookie, Elaine! is listed (or ranked) 44 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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Women don't respect salad eate... is listed (or ranked) 45 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

46
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Is not you, It´s me. Geo... is listed (or ranked) 46 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

47
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The carpet sweeper is the bigg... is listed (or ranked) 47 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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My friend Jay Reimenschneider ... is listed (or ranked) 48 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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You are way past the phone cal... is listed (or ranked) 49 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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