- 1+ 17- 5
The Police Are HerevBellhop: "Excuse me"
M. Gustave H.: "Uh huh"
Bellhop: "The police are here. They asked for you."
M. Gustave H.: "Tell them I'll be right down."
M. Gustave H.: "Have you ever been questioned by the authorities?"
Zero: "Yes, on one occasion."
M. Gustave H.: "What, what, what?"
Zero: "I was arrested and tortured by the rebel militia after the desert uprising."
M. Gustave H.: "Right, well you know the drill then. Zip it!"
Zero: "Of course!"
M. Gustave H.: "You never heard the word Van Hourtle in your life."
Zero: "Got it!"
M. Gustave H.: "Okay, let's go!"
M. Gustave H.: "How may we serve you, gentlemen? Ah, Inspector Henckels"
Inspector Henckels: "By order of the Commissioner of Police of Zubrowka Provence, I hereby place you under arrest for the murder of Madame Celine Villiankov Desgoffe-und-Taxis."
M. Gustave H.: "I knew there was something fishy. We never got the cause of death. She's been murdered and you think I did it."
Inspector Henckels: "Hey! Stop!"
It all hits the fan when Inspector Henckels arrives to arrest Gustave for the murder of Madame D. At first Gustave is quite open to talking to the police but soon he runs when they want to arrest him.
- 2+ 6- 0
I Go to Bed With All My FriendsDmitri Desgoffe-und-Taxis: "If I learn you ever laid a finger on my mother's body, living or dead…"
M. Gustave H.: "I go to bed with all my friends."
[Dmitri Desgoffe-und-Taxis punches M. Gustave H. Zero punches Dmitri Desgoffe-und-Taxis. J.G. Jopling punches Zero.]
Dmitri, Madame D.'s strange son, is not happy that she opted to give Gustave the painting and is even more outraged to learn that Gustave and his mother were intimate. Things escalate fast leaving Gustave, Dimitri and Zero all knocked out.
- 3+ 9- 1
Junior Lobby Boy in TrainingvZero: "And so my life began, junior lobby boy in training under the strict command of M. Gustave H. Many of the hotel's most valued and distinguished guests came for him. I became his pupil and he was to be my counselor and guardian. This is also when I met Agatha."
As Zero explains, this film is about his life as a lobby boy at the Grand Budapest Hotel under M. Gustave H. Not only did Zero meet the girl of his dreams at the hotel but he also made a lifelong bond with his mentor Gustave.
- 4+ 8- 1
A Plan for Your SurvivalvZero: "There's something I haven't told you, Agatha."
Zero: "We stole a painting. It's very valuable, maybe five million klubeks, in fact. I don't know if anyone's even noticed it's missing yet but if something should happen to me and M. Gustave…"
Agatha: "You steal art?"
Zero: "One picture. Anyway, we need to make a plan for your survival. Hide this. It's in code and you might need a magnifying glass to read it but it tells you exactly where and how to find Boy with Apple. Don't take less than half the retail asking price. Also…"
Agatha: "Zero, I'm a baker!"
Zero: "You're a pastry chef…"
Agatha: "I'm not a middle man. I'm not a fence, if that's the term. I don't trade in stolen property."
Zero: "I said it wrong. She willed it to him."
Mendl: "Go to sleep"
Agatha: "Yes, Heir Mendl"
Zero: "Hide this!"
Zero: "Okay, but take it anyway."
Zero leaves a bit of an insurance policy with his lady love, Agatha. While she doesn't want anything to do with it. She's just a baker, not one who trades in stolen property.
- 5+ 5- 1
It's Got What You'd Call VenerabilityvM. Gustave H.: "Good morning, Pinky"
Pinky: "Mendl's again?"
M. Gustave H.: "Precisely. Now who's got the throat slitter?"
Wolf: "I love this world."
M. Gustave H.: "Mendl's is the best. Well, back to work."
Pinky: "M. Gustave"
M. Gustave H.: "Yes?"
Pinky: "Me and the boys talked it over. We think you are a really straight fellow."
M. Gustave H.: "Well, I've never been accused of that before but I appreciate the sentiment."
Pinky: "You're one of us now."
M. Gustave H.: "What a lovely thing to say. Thank you, dear Pinky. Thank you, Gunter. Thank you, Wolf. Anything else?"
Pinky: "Tell him, Ludwig."
Ludwig: "Checkpoint 19 ain't no two-bit hoosegow. You've got broad gauge iron bars on every door, vent and window. You've got 72 guards on the floor with 60 more in the towers. You've got a 325-foot drop into a moat of crocodiles. But like the best of them, it's got a soft spot, which in this case happens to take the form of a storm drain sewer system, dating from the time of the original rock fortification way back in the middle ages. Now, nobody's saying it's a stroll down the tree line promenade with a fine lady and a white poodle but it's got what you'd call venerability and that's our bread and butter. Take a look."
Luckily for Gustave, bringing some friends delicious baked goods is paying off. Pinky, Ludwig and crew are planning a prison break and have just invited Gustave to join them.
- 6+ 6- 3
I've Had OlderM. Gustave H." "She was dynamite in the sack, by the way"
Zero: "She was 84…"
M. Gustave H.: "I've had older."
Zero is surprised to hear that Gustave got freaky with an old lady guest. That's nothing compared to when Zero learns that this is quite the normal happening for Gustave.
- 7+ 4- 1
Roadblocks at Every JunctionInspector Henckels: "I want roadblocks at every junction for 50 kilometers. I want rail blocks at every train station for 100 kilometers. I want 50 men and 10 blood hounds ready in five minutes."
After a prison break, Inspector Henckels does his best to make sure all of the escapees are caught and he's stopping at nothing in that effort.
- 8+ 2- 0
Take Your Hands of My Lobby BoyM. Gustave H.: "You can't arrest him simply because he's an immigrant."
[Zero is arrested]
M. Gustave H.: "Take your hands of my lobby boy!"
When the police come for them, it's not Zero they are after (and not because he is an immigrant). It's Gustave they want and the charge is murder.
- 9+ 3- 2
Madame D.'s Last Will and TestamentvDeputy Kovacs: "This is Madame D.'s last will and testament. 'To M. Gustave H., I bequeath a painting known as Boy with Apple."
M. Gustave H.: "Wow!"
Dmitri Desgoffe-und-Taxis: "What?"
Man: "Who's Gustave H.?"
M. Gustave H.: "I'm afraid that's me, darling."
All are shocked when Madame D.'s will is read and a very valuable painting is given to some mystery man, Gustave H. Luckily he is there to answer to the call.
- 10+ 1- 0
She's CharmingM. Gustave H.: "She's charming. She's so charming."
Zero: "Is he flirting with you?"
M. Gustave H.: "I approve of this union."
Zero is already smitten with Agatha but getting the blessing of Gustave is also important to Zero. Luckily for Zero, Gustave gives it.