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- 1+ 20- 4
Welcome to the Amazing World of MagicBully: "Listen to me, Burt. Nobody likes you. Nobody will ever like you."
Young Rance Holloway: "Welcome to the amazing world of magic."
Young Burt Wonderstone: "Wow"
Young Rance Holloway: "Everyone loves a magician and they'll love you too."
In an all to typical act of bullying of Burt as a young child, he is told that nobody will ever like him. Much to his surprise however a short time later he sees Rance Holloway on television telling him the secret to getting everyone to love him: magic. This chain of events starts Burt's career as a magician.
- 2+ 8- 1
That's Why You Became a MagicianRance Holloway: [after making a bird appear] "What you're feeling right now, that's why you became a magician."
Burt Wonderstone: "That and the women"
Rance Holloway: "That and the women"
Burt Wonderstone: "How did you do that?"
Rance Holloway: "It's partially deboned."
Rance tries to re-inspire Burt by doing a trick in front of him at the nursing home. Burt is impressed but something says PETA wouldn't approve of partially deboning the bird.
- 3+ 8- 1
I Should Have Explained That to YouBurt Wodnerstone: "May I see the for a minute?" [Grace hands Burt her necklace] "Watch this!"
Grace: "What have you done?!"
Burt Wonderstone: "I'm a magician. I should have explained that to you earlier."
Burt tries out one of his simple disappearing tricks to an elderly woman. She however doesn't understand and breaks down sobbing when her treasured necklace disappears.
- 4+ 10- 3
Whichever Entertainer DazzlesDoug Munny: "Ladies and gentlemen, Burt Wonderstone and Steve Gray! Whichever entertainer dazzles me the most will be getting a five-year contract as headliner."
Speaking to a crowd, casino owner Doug Munny explains that he's holding a contest between Burt Wonderstone and Steve Gray. Top prize takes over the headlining spot at the Aztec Casino, a position formerly held by Burt.
- 5+ 10- 3
He Doesn't Even Have a CostumeBurt Wonderstone: "That guy's a magician? He doesn't even have a costume!"
Jane: "You're gonna wear that? Are you ridiculous? It's velvet. Take it off, Burt."
For Burt, being a magician means wearing a tacky velvet suit and waving your hands around fast. Whether he likes it or not, this new guy Steve Gray, might not have a costume but he is the big new thing in town.
- 6+ 11- 5
You Need to Do Something FreshDoug Munny: "Your ticket sales suck."
Burt Wonderstone: [laughs] "What? Who is that guy?"
Doug Munny: "Steve Gray, they are calling him the future of magic."
Television Announcer: "For 12 long days he's held his urine."
Richard Wolffe: "What is going through your mind?"
Steve Gray: "I really have to pee, Richard."
Doug Munny: "You need to do something fresh!"
Burt Wonderstone: "I suppose I could hold my poop."
Burt is called in by casino owner Doug Munny to discuss his poor ticket sales. He's also introduced to rival magician Steve Gray and suggests a quite disgusting way to one-up him.
- 7+ 7- 3
Magician's BarSteve Gray: "They said this was the magician's bar. What are you doing in here?"
Burt Wonderstone: "Mr. Gray"
Steve Gray: "Mmmhmm?"
Burt Wonderstone: "What you do is not magic, it is monkey porn."
Steve Gray: "It's natural for a dying leaf to be frightened by the autumn wind. It's not about pulling a rabbit out of your hat anymore. It's about pulling your heart out of your chest."
Burt Wonderstone: "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
Steve Gray: "It means I take people's nightmares and turn them into dream realities."
Rance Holloway: "What's a dream reality?"
Steve Gray: "And you are?"
Rick the Implausible: "Whoa, hold on a minute there, Steve Gray. You're telling us you don't know who Rance Holloway is?"
Steve Gray: "Never heard of him."
Burt Wonderstone: "We owe this many everything and you don't know who he is?"
Steve Gray: "I didn't say I don't know who he is. I said I've never heard of him. Your skin makes me cry."
Tensions run high when the rival magicians meet in a bar. Rance, Burt and fellow illusionist Rick the Implausible seem to side with one another and nearly interrogate Steve Gary, who does not seem one bit shaken by the confrontation.
- 8+ 5- 1
You've Seen People Walk On Hot CoalsSteve Gray: "I'm sure you've seen people walk on red hot coals but I doubt you've seen anyone spend the night on red hot coals."
Showing his taste for always being one step better than his rivals, Steve Gray vows to not just walk on hot coals but sleep on them. Needless to say, this makes for one rude awakening.