The Incredible Burt Wonderstone Movie Quotes

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"The Incredible Burt Wonderstone" movie quotes provide reasons to laugh in the comedy movie about an aging Las Vegas magician who is forced to step up his game after a rival magician steals the spotlight. Don Scardino directed the film which was written by John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein, along with rewrites from Jason Reitman. Loosely on the real story of Chad Kultgen and Tyler Mitchell, "The Incredible Burt Wonderstone" premiered at SXSW on March 8, 2013, before its March 15, 2013, theatrical release.

In "The Incredible Burt Wonderstone," Steve Carrell stars as the title character, an aging Las Vegas magician loosely based on the long-running Siegfried & Roy act. Along with partner Anton Marvelton (Steve Buscemi), Burt has been performing his whole life. When Aztec Casino owner Doug Munny tells Burt to step up his game, especially as rival illusionist Steve Gray (Jim Carrey) is the hot, new thing, Burt and Anton attempt a dangerous-yet-attention grabbing stunt. This goes horribly wrong leaving Anton injured and Burt in ever more of a tight spot.

Forced to perform in smaller venues, Burt comes upon Rance Holloway (Alan Arkin), the television magician who inspired Burt to take up magic as a child. Along with Rance and former assistant Jane (Olivia Munn), Burt tries to regain that drive to amaze people but it's no easy task and Steve Gray is on top of his game. This leads to one spic showdown as both men compete for a headlining spot at the Aztec Casino with the best illusionist taking the spot.

This comedy movie joins a busy winter 2012-13 movie season already jam packed with hits like "A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III," "Side Effects," "Identity Thief," "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters," "Stand Up Guys," "Warm Bodies," "Bullet to the Head," "Movie 43," "Django Unchained," "Killing Them Softly," "Hitchcock," "Skyfall," "Lincoln," "Flight," "Playing for Keeps," and "Silver Linings Playbook."

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    Welcome to the Amazing World of Magic

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    Bully: "Listen to me, Burt. Nobody likes you. Nobody will ever like you."

    Young Rance Holloway: "Welcome to the amazing world of magic."
    Young Burt Wonderstone: "Wow"
    Young Rance Holloway: "Everyone loves a magician and they'll love you too."

    In an all to typical act of bullying of Burt as a young child, he is told that nobody will ever like him. Much to his surprise however a short time later he sees Rance Holloway on television telling him the secret to getting everyone to love him: magic. This chain of events starts Burt's career as a magician.

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    That's Why You Became a Magician

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    Rance Holloway: [after making a bird appear] "What you're feeling right now, that's why you became a magician."
    Burt Wonderstone: "That and the women"
    Rance Holloway: "That and the women"
    Burt Wonderstone: "How did you do that?"
    Rance Holloway: "It's partially deboned."

    Rance tries to re-inspire Burt by doing a trick in front of him at the nursing home. Burt is impressed but something says PETA wouldn't approve of partially deboning the bird.

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    I Should Have Explained That to You

    Burt Wodnerstone: "May I see the for a minute?" [Grace hands Burt her necklace] "Watch this!"
    Grace: "What have you done?!"
    Burt Wonderstone: "I'm a magician. I should have explained that to you earlier."

    Burt tries out one of his simple disappearing tricks to an elderly woman. She however doesn't understand and breaks down sobbing when her treasured necklace disappears.

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    Whichever Entertainer Dazzles

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    Doug Munny: "Ladies and gentlemen, Burt Wonderstone and Steve Gray! Whichever entertainer dazzles me the most will be getting a five-year contract as headliner."

    Speaking to a crowd, casino owner Doug Munny explains that he's holding a contest between Burt Wonderstone and Steve Gray. Top prize takes over the headlining spot at the Aztec Casino, a position formerly held by Burt.

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    He Doesn't Even Have a Costume

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    Burt Wonderstone: "That guy's a magician? He doesn't even have a costume!"
    Jane: "You're gonna wear that? Are you ridiculous? It's velvet. Take it off, Burt."

    For Burt, being a magician means wearing a tacky velvet suit and waving your hands around fast. Whether he likes it or not, this new guy Steve Gray, might not have a costume but he is the big new thing in town.

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    You Need to Do Something Fresh

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    Doug Munny: "Your ticket sales suck."
    Burt Wonderstone: [laughs] "What? Who is that guy?"
    Doug Munny: "Steve Gray, they are calling him the future of magic."
    Television Announcer: "For 12 long days he's held his urine."
    Richard Wolffe: "What is going through your mind?"
    Steve Gray: "I really have to pee, Richard."
    Doug Munny: "You need to do something fresh!"
    Burt Wonderstone: "I suppose I could hold my poop."

    Burt is called in by casino owner Doug Munny to discuss his poor ticket sales. He's also introduced to rival magician Steve Gray and suggests a quite disgusting way to one-up him.

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    Magician's Bar

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    Steve Gray: "They said this was the magician's bar. What are you doing in here?"
    Burt Wonderstone: "Mr. Gray"
    Steve Gray: "Mmmhmm?"
    Burt Wonderstone: "What you do is not magic, it is monkey porn."
    Steve Gray: "It's natural for a dying leaf to be frightened by the autumn wind. It's not about pulling a rabbit out of your hat anymore. It's about pulling your heart out of your chest."
    Burt Wonderstone: "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
    Steve Gray: "It means I take people's nightmares and turn them into dream realities."
    Rance Holloway: "What's a dream reality?"
    Steve Gray: "And you are?"
    Rick the Implausible: "Whoa, hold on a minute there, Steve Gray. You're telling us you don't know who Rance Holloway is?"
    Steve Gray: "Never heard of him."
    Burt Wonderstone: "We owe this many everything and you don't know who he is?"
    Steve Gray: "I didn't say I don't know who he is. I said I've never heard of him. Your skin makes me cry."

    Tensions run high when the rival magicians meet in a bar. Rance, Burt and fellow illusionist Rick the Implausible seem to side with one another and nearly interrogate Steve Gary, who does not seem one bit shaken by the confrontation.

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    You've Seen People Walk On Hot Coals

    Steve Gray: "I'm sure you've seen people walk on red hot coals but I doubt you've seen anyone spend the night on red hot coals."

    Showing his taste for always being one step better than his rivals, Steve Gray vows to not just walk on hot coals but sleep on them. Needless to say, this makes for one rude awakening.

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    Final Disappearing Act

    Rance Holloway: [in a hospital bed] "It's time for my final disappearing act."
    Jane: "Where did he go?"
    Burt Wonderstone: "He has gone to a better place. Goodbye, Rance"
    Jane: "He is under the bed."
    Burt Wodnerstone: "I know."

    Thinking he's close to death, Rance Holloway performs his "final disappearing act" for Jane and Burt. After a puff of smoke he appears to disappear but everyone can see him slide under the bed.

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    Where Old Entertainers Go to Die

    Burt Wonderstone: "So this is where old entertainers go to die."
    Hanna: "Mmmhmm, and some not so old"

    After scrapped by the Aztec Casino, Burt finds himself performing for a much smaller (and older) crowd. Performing for old folks in unpopular casinos is far from what Burt imagined as a child when he decided to devote his life to magic.

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    You're Rance Holloway

    Burt Wonderstone: "You're Rance Holloway. I had your magic kit as a kid."
    Rance Holloway: "I'll give you your money back."

    Burt Wonderstone meets his childhood hero Rance Holloway, who is now old and in a nursing home. Burt is giddy to meet Rance but Rance doesn't share the enthusiasm.

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    Stay in the Box for An Entire Week

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    Burt Wonderstone: "We need some grand illusion!"

    Journalist: "You and Burt plan to stay in the box an entire week?"

    Burt Wonderstone: "It's a little smaller than I thought it would be."

    Burt Wonderstone: "Ahhh! I can't breathe!"
    Anton Marvelton: It's only been 20 minutes!"

    In an attempt to get some positive attention, Burt and partner Anton Marvelton agree to stay in a suspended glass box for a week. Too bad after 20 minutes Burt freaks out sending both men crashing to the concrete and severely injuring Anton.

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