- 1+ 24- 3
Your Company Is Closed
Nick: "The Chronoshock 13…"
Potential Customer: "They didn't tell you, did they? Your company is closed."
Nick: "You closed the company?!"
Boss: "Everything's computerized now."
Nick: "People have a deep mistrust of machines. Have you seen Terminator?"
Nick: "Or two?"
Nick: "Or three or four?"
Billy: "All of them"
Boss: "You're great salesmen but it's too late for you guys and I'm gonna say something harsh now."
Billy: "Now, now you're gonna say something harsh?"
Nick and Billy think they are on the top of the world when they arrive at a business dinner with the intent to sell a fancy watch to a potential customer. This all changes however when the customer informs them that their company has folded under their feet. Their boss later confirms the news citing the technological advancements as leading to their demise. He cannot confirm though if he's seen Terminator.
- 2+ 23- 4
Interviews On the Internet
Billy: "This is how people do it now, Nicky. They have their interviews on the Internet."
Nick: "Ohhh, I like it."
Billy: "Okay, here they are. Now when I hit this they'll be able to see us."
Nick: "Yeah, sit up straight."
Billy: "Come in here. You gotta come in closer so they'll be able to see us."
Nick: "No, they can see us."
Billy: "See how small the webcam is? Let's get cheek to cheek."
Benjamin: "Uh, we can see you guys"
Billy: [yelling] "Okay, great!"
Nick: [yelling] "You got us?"
Billy: [yelling] "Hi, my name is Billy."
Alison: "We can hear you fine as well."
Billy: "Oh, great"
Billy: "Billy McMann"
Nick: "Nick Campbell"
Benjamin: "I'm Benjamin"
Alison: "Alison. We're going to ask you a few questions that some of our candidates find a little bit odd."
Nick: "Let's get weird!"
Billy: "No judgement! Shoot!"
Benjamin: "You're shrunken down to the size of nickels and dropped to the bottom of a blender. What do you do?"
Billy: "You take it flat on your back and…"
Nick: "Right, right, you just lay back. You just enjoy the ride. You enjoy that breeze!"
Billy: "You are light as a feather…"
Nick: "You pretend it's a fan."
Billy: "You let the blades whip all around you like" [makes blender noises] "It's like getting an MRI."
Benjamin: "Once this blender's on, it's on forever."
Alison: "It's on."
Nick: "Respectfully I've gotta disagree. We've sold blenders and even the best model in the world is only gonna run maybe 10 or 11 hours. So we're getting out and when we do, we're better off for it because whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Billy: "It's not so much getting out of the blender, it's what happens next. That's the question."
Nick: "You've got two nickel-sized men free in the world. Think of the possibilities."
Billy: "I mean, on top of my head, and I'm just speculating, sunglass repair. We'd be hell on those little screws."
Nick: "Maybe stick us in those submarines that they put in people's bodies to fight diseases."
Benjamin: "Okay, that's not a real thing, the submarines."
Billy: "Wait a minute. I thought we were stuck in a blender. Now we're saving lives? What?!"
Alison and Benjamin: "What?"
Nick and Billy: "What?!"
Alison and Benjamin: "What?"
Billy: "Let me just recap this for you real quick. We start off in a blender. Now we're saving lives!"
Nick and Billy: "What?!"
Billy: "Wait a minute. We were stuck in a blender."
Nick: "What a journey!"
Billy: "And now we're saving lives! What?!"
Nick: "You guys lead us to this. Thank you!"
An introductory interview with the folks from Google starts and ends quite awkwardly for Nick and Billy. Google says they are looking for people who think differently but Nick and Billy might have taken their quirkiness just a bit too far.
- 3+ 13- 4
Billy: "Nick, I got it! Google!"
Nick: "You got us a job at Google?!"
Billy: "Well not a job job, it's an interview for an internship that could lead to a job. Nick, this might be the last chance that we've got."
Billy has great news for Nick, that he's secured them a chance to work at Google. It's far from a sure thing though as what Billy got was simply an interview for an internship that might result in a job.
- 4+ 8- 2
Mental Hunger Games
Nick: "We're looking at some sort of mental Hunger Games against a bunch of genius kids for just like a handful of jobs."
Nick sees the internship as some sort of kill or be killed situation. Really, he's not that far off though the competition is far less violent than he makes it seem.
- 5+ 9- 3
Mr. Chetty: [on video] "Your job: Find the bug!"
Stuart: "Why don't the two of you guys right now go and find the programmer."
Fellow Male Intern: "His name is Charles Xavier"
Fellow Female Intern: "He's a professor at Stanford."
Stuart: "He's in a wheelchair."
Billy: "Got it, Stanford, wheelchair"
Billy: "Charles Xavier?"
Man in Wheelchair: "Very funny"
Billy: "Professor Xavier, we know that it's you."
Man in Wheelchair: "You found me out. Cyclops, Rogue, we're all here. Now, I want to share some of my wisdom with you."
Billy: "Professor Xavier is a…"
In an effort to impress their internship teammates, Billy and Nick head to Stanford to track down the professor who created the program they're working on. Before asking too many questions, Billy and Nick confront a man in a wheelchair they believe to be the professor and end up both getting punched as a result.
- 6+ 7- 2
We Have Rules
Mr. Chetty: "We have rules. The red paddle indicates no. The green paddle indicates yes… Having a beer with your boss…"
[All interns display the red paddle for no except Billy and Nick]
Billy: "If you want to grab a cold one with me you let me know."
Mr. Chetty: "I will not be grabbing a cold one with you."
Billy: "You get high?"
For some unbeknownst reason, after getting word from Mr. Chetty that an employee hanging out and drinking beer with a boss is not appropriate at Google, Billy asks Mr. Chetty if instead of drinking, he'd rather use drugs. We can only imagine that the question did not go over well.
L The List