The Most Hilariously Negative New Years Eve Movie Reviews By Best Movie Reviews [6 more lists]

The reviews for "New Years Eve" are in, and they aren't so stellar. In fact, as of the making of this list the movie is sitting at 5% on Rotten Tomatoes. That's almost as bad as Jack and Jill or Bucky Larson.

I hear you asking, "How can a movie starring almost all of Hollywood's A-List be bad?" Well, as one critic so aptly put, just because great food tastes good, doesn't mean that you should eat all of it at once. Plus, who knew that the follow up to last years gag-fest "Valentine's Day" could be bad. Everyone I guess, but VD made so much money it was inevitable that there would be a follow up.

At least everyone can rest easy knowing that this movie gives the critics an excuse to make as many ball dropping and champagne puns as possible. If you want to see some really cool movie quotes check out the Matrix quotes list.

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Rank Name

1

Richard Roeper, Chicago-Sun Times

" It's all perfectly pleasant and perfectly harmless and perfectly bland."

Usually "pleasant" and "harmless" aren't that bad, but when you add bland to that you change the thing entirely. It seems that Roeper thinks that NYE is on the same level as your aunts tuna casserole.
2

Stephen Whitty, The Star-Ledger

"I suppose it’s almost sweet that they’d think a group of Manhattan high schoolers would be worried about how to kiss. Almost. But there’s nothing inherently hysterical about 'foreign' accents. Or made-up words for 'vagina.'"

I think what Stephen Whitty is trying to say in his review is that high schoolers don't need kissing advice, but unplanned pregnancy tips.
3

Eric D. Snider, Film.com

"The obvious thing to do when you have found a very easy way to make a lot of money without putting forth any effort, is to do it again. Marshall and Fugate have therefore re-teamed for New Year’s Eve, which is not a sequel (it has none of the same characters) but is instead an even lazier, even dumber re-hash of Valentine’s Day"

I think what Eric Snider's review is saying that just because one didn't die when throwing themselves out of a plane without a parachute doesn't mean one should attempted it a second time.
4

Melissa Anderson, Village Voice

"Mayans might have predicted the end of the world in 2012, but could they have known that the countdown to eternal hellfire would begin with Garry Marshall's New Year's Eve?"

Melissa Anderson's review might come off as harsh at first, but then when you consider that you will never get back that time you would have spent watching this movie you might just want to thank her.
5

Linda Barnard, TheStar.com

"As we all link arms and sing 'Auld Lang Syne' we hope that somewhere amid the streamers and popping champagne corks director Marshall is making a resolution to stop making these movies. If he gets his hands on St. Patrick’s Day we’re done for."

Linda Barnard has a good point, if this movies is successful what other holidays do we have to look forward to Gary Marshall raping? Memorial Day? Arbor Day? Black History Month?
6

Peter Travers, Rolling Stone
7

David Hiltbrand, Inquirer

"This is more of a clown car than it is a movie."

David Hiltbrand was not wrong in his review of this movie. I don't know how they could squeeze even one more cameo into this movie without scrapping the bottom of the romantic comedy/Oscar contender barrel.
8

Mick LaSalle, SF Chronicle

"What can be said about a movie that is nice and awful? That has a warm spirit and is 100 percent phony? That has all the stars in the galaxy and all the appeal of rotting fish?"

Reviewer Mick LaSalle makes the movie sound like it is the film representation of that creepy cousin you see every other year at the family reunion.
9

Wesley Morris, Boston Globe

" 'New Year's Eve' is fun in the way that eating at a buffet is fun. It's two hours of foods that have nothing to do with each other piled high on a plate because it was too cheap to resist."

I agree with Wesley Morris in his review. Just because you have access to Hilary Swank, Ludacris, Michelle Pfeiffer, Zac Efron, Sarah Jessica Parker, Abigail Breslin, Ryan Seacrest and Ashton Kutcher, doesn't mean you have to use all of them in your movie. It's like eating Chinese, Italian, Mexican and Dessert all at once, sure they taste great on their own but together you are going to get a bad stomach ache.
10

Andrew Barker, Variety

"Offering around a dozen barely there, aggressively agreeable mini-stories spliced together and spit out with lawnmower-style eloquence, the film is pushed to punishing lengths by the engorged cast list, which prevents any individual plot from deepening beyond single-sentence character descriptions and dilemmas. The overall effect is like being crushed under an avalanche of throw pillows."

Andrew Barker doesn't seem to like the hodge-podge nature of "New Years Eve". What's not to like. There are flashy colors and pretty people with white teeth and enough money to live in high end Manhattan lofts. Obviously Gary Marshall is speaking to the every man.