L The List
- 1Since you cannot truly and effectively die in Mario Kart 64, the "losing" screen is obviously when you've placed behind anyone you're playing with, including the "computer" (as my parents often called it).
So, here's a video of this death... wait for it... yep. That's right. They've basically instated the "No HomerS" rule on you.
Not only have you lost a game you've spent over half an hour playing already (if you've gotten to the ceremony screen), but you have to watch everyone else celebrating THEIR success.
Isn't that brutal? The Mario universe usually isn't this brutal... but wait... THERE'S MORE...
As you're sitting in the background, watching everyone else get their trophies, they send a freaking Bob-Omb to come blow you up. That's right, people, this ain't no kiddie show anymore. If you lose, you lose BIG.
Insult. To. Injury... and then more "Injury".
After THAT, they show you CRYING with a sign under you that says "what a pity".
Definitely one of the most brutal lose-screens of all time cause Nintendo lays it on. THICK.
It happens while you're spawning, waiting, helpless and unable to move. And you have to endure it for at least 3-5 whole seconds.
Teabagging isn't exactly native/exclusive to Halo, but Halo definitely has the most humiliating teabagging experience known to gaming.
Corpse-humping (otherwise known as teabagging) basically means that when your character dies in a multiplayer game, the other considerate, mature and wonderful people you are playing with make the decision to do more than that. They're going to humiliate you. They want to make sure you think twice about ever playing with them again. They're going to basically perform the sexual act of "teabagging" on you.
Teabagging (IRL) is when someone puts their t*******s (i.e., the teabags) on your face, or when you do it to someone else's face (assuming you have t*******s, which if you're playing Halo, is highly likely).
So, why single out the Teabagging in Halo 3/The Halo Franchise? Well, because not only is it incredibly accurate when a player crouches and stands, crouches and stands, crouches and stands over your dead, helpless, about-to-respawn corpse (due to how you can crouch in Halo -- on one knee); but contact with a dead body actually affects the dead body.
That's right, YOU'RE NOT EVEN SAFE WHEN YOU'RE DEAD. When someone crouches on your corpse, your body moves, which means that if they're teabagging you against a sharp edge or other surface, not only are you actually FEELING it, it's making your characters dead body get ROCKED.
00:26 for some really really annoying teabagging.
- 3Few things in gaming have riddled lists, hatred of the gaming community and anxiety nightmares more than the laughing dog in Duck Hunt.
For those uninitiated, here's why we hate this dog:
As if our sense of insecurity and inferiority wasn't being developed well enough by our parents, Nintendo decided to make a landmark video game system that came with a game that includes a dog (an animal, whose poop you clean up after) that laughs at you when you fail.
And it's not just that the stupid dog laughs at you when you fail, it's the fact that BEFORE that, he'd been helping you all along. If anything, the part that hurts the most is the betrayal.
Imagine you and your friends are going out to pick up some chicks (or guys, or guys), and they'd been helping you out, lying about your profession, talking up your intelligence and doing everything they could to make you score. Then, by a perfectly reasonable turn of events, you fail. She completely shoots you down. You go over to hang out with your friends again. What do they do? Laugh their asses off at you.
That's right, this game is a microcosm for the worst friends you will ever have, making this arguably one of the most infuriating video game lose/death screens of all time.
The Guitar Hero Franchise
- 5SNAAAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!
Metal Gear Solid is such a careful, slow, stealth-dependent game that whenever you die in it, it feels like someone just knocked over your award-winning sand castle and then pee'd in it.
To add infuriating rage to the fact that you're going to have to replay a stealth level (and really, NOTHING is more infuriating than having to replay stealth levels), you have an ear-prodding, sound-barrier-piercing voice come on your headpiece.
No matter which character does it, it's always annoying. It sounds so much less like someone screaming because you're dead and so much more like your mom yelling at you for not taking out the trash when it is CLEARLY your brother's turn.
- 6YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ARE DEAD...
The worst part about this video game death screen is that it's so blunt. A lot of games at least show you the character you were playing as in some kind of peril, losing or dying in the story that you were playing them through. The characters may be disappointed or bad guys (and sometimes dogs you thought were your freaking FRIENDS) might be laughing at you.
In this one, you get a black screen, letting you know the game is over. And it's not Jason telling you, it's not some scary voice or voice bubble telling you... it's the game. The game, yes, the Nintendo Cartridge itself is telling you that you have unequivocally failed at the very task you were looking to achieve.
The kicker: THE TIMING. The fact that it tells you that not only you, but your friends (who you played as at some point) are dead is horrible... and then, as if you don't already know this... just to drive in the point that "EFF YOU, PLAYER"... "game over".
The timing of that "Game Over" feels like the same timing someone would give (at the end of a long rant about why you suck): "... oh yeah and you're ugly."