Let's go ahead and remember all the lives we've lost and which losses have infuriated us the most (in video games). Here's a list of the most annoying, frustrating and frankly insulting video game death screens that we have ever suffered through.
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Few things in gaming have riddled lists, hatred of the gaming community and anxiety nightmares more than the laughing dog in Duck Hunt.
For those uninitiated, here's why we hate this dog:
As if our sense of insecurity and inferiority wasn't being developed well enough by our parents, Nintendo decided to make a landmark video game system that came with a game that includes a dog (an animal, whose poop you clean up after) that laughs at you when you fail.
And it's not just that the stupid dog laughs at you when you fail, it's the fact that BEFORE that, he'd been helping you all along. If anything, the part that hurts the most is the betrayal.
Imagine you and your friends are going out to pick up some chicks (or guys, or guys), and they'd been helping you out, lying about your profession, talking up your intelligence and doing everything they could to make you score. Then, by a perfectly reasonable turn of events, you fail. She completely shoots you down. You go over to hang out with your friends again. What do they do? Laugh their asses off at you.
That's right, this game is a microcosm for the worst friends you will ever have, making this arguably one of the most infuriating video game lose/death screens of all time.
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Since you cannot truly and effectively die in Mario Kart 64, the "losing" screen is obviously when you've placed behind anyone you're playing with, including the "computer" (as my parents often called it).
So, here's a video of this death... wait for it... yep. That's right. They've basically instated the "No HomerS" rule on you.
Not only have you lost a game you've spent over half an hour playing already (if you've gotten to the ceremony screen), but you have to watch everyone else celebrating THEIR success.
Isn't that brutal? The Mario universe usually isn't this brutal... but wait... THERE'S MORE...
As you're sitting in the background, watching everyone else get their trophies, they send a freaking Bob-Omb to come blow you up. That's right, people, this ain't no kiddie show anymore. If you lose, you lose BIG.
Insult. To. Injury... and then more "Injury".
After THAT, they show you CRYING with a sign under you that says "what a pity".
Definitely one of the most brutal lose-screens of all time cause Nintendo lays it on. THICK.
Also Rankedsee more on Mario Kart 64
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Before there was teabagging, there were fatalities.
Mortal Kombat's fatalities were the biggest "FU" you could give another player back in the day short of actually flipping them off.
If you were playing with a friend and did one, everyone laughed and reveled at the glory.
If you were playing at the arcade and did a fatality on someone, it was ON (not unlike Donkey Kong). The player either had to put in another quarter or leave in shame and hang their head low all the way home.
Whenever that happened to you, though, and you were the victim of the guy at the arcade whose parents hated him enough to pay him to stay out of the house for a few hours with laundry quarters so much that he was able to practice and then get REALLY good at Mortal Kombat... It sucked. Not only had you lost to a guy who could also probably kick your ass in real life, but you were out a few quarters you could have spent on Fun Dip.
And now, to end this list, here's a montage of fatalities. Enjoy (and be glad that it's not you).
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Metal Gear Solid is such a careful, slow, stealth-dependent game that whenever you die in it, it feels like someone just knocked over your award-winning sand castle and then pee'd in it.
To add infuriating rage to the fact that you're going to have to replay a stealth level (and really, NOTHING is more infuriating than having to replay stealth levels), you have an ear-prodding, sound-barrier-piercing voice come on your headpiece.
No matter which character does it, it's always annoying. It sounds so much less like someone screaming because you're dead and so much more like your mom yelling at you for not taking out the trash when it is CLEARLY your brother's turn.
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The Guitar Hero Franchise
Because that piercing WRONG NOTE sound throughout each song doesn't drill into your brain each and every time you misplace your pinky finger or miss a beat by a half a second, there are screens designed to tell you what you already know: YOU SUCK.
The Guitar Hero series: bringing down self-esteem for more than a decade.
see more on The Guitar Hero Franchise
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It happens while you're spawning, waiting, helpless and unable to move. And you have to endure it for at least 3-5 whole seconds.
Teabagging isn't exactly native/exclusive to Halo, but Halo definitely popularized the humiliating teabagging experience.
Corpse-humping (otherwise known as teabagging) basically means that when your character dies in a multiplayer game, the other considerate, mature and wonderful people you are playing with make the decision to do more than that. They're going to humiliate you. They want to make sure you think twice about ever playing with them again. They're going to basically perform the sexual act of "teabagging" on you.
Teabagging (IRL) is when someone puts their t*******s (i.e., the teabag) on your face, or when you do it to someone else's face (assuming you have t*******s, which if you're playing Halo, is highly likely).
So, why single out the teabagging in Halo games? Well, because not only is it incredibly accurate when a player crouches and stands, crouches and stands, crouches and stands over your dead, helpless, about-to-respawn corpse (due to how you can crouch in Halo -- on one knee); but contact with a dead body actually affects the dead body.
That's right, YOU'RE NOT EVEN SAFE WHEN YOU'RE DEAD. When someone crouches on your corpse, your body moves, which means that if they're teabagging you against a sharp edge or other surface, not only are you actually FEELING it, it's making your characters dead body get ROCKED.
00:26 for some really really annoying teabagging.
Also Rankedsee more on Halo 3
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Go to 00:40 for the Resident Evil franchise's collection/montage of death screens featuring one of the most infuriatingly obvious word-choices in video game history.
YOU DIED... Yeah, I gathered that.
The words aren't only an insult to the player's intelligence, but they feature some of the most annoying sounds from the characters in the game you will ever encounter. Watch a little further in the video for examples of the characters screaming and sounding less like they've been impaled and more like their big brother just punched them in the arm.
Also Rankedsee more on Resident Evil
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YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ARE DEAD...
The worst part about this video game death screen is that it's so blunt. A lot of games at least show you the character you were playing as in some kind of peril, losing or dying in the story that you were playing them through. The characters may be disappointed or bad guys (and sometimes dogs you thought were your freaking FRIENDS) might be laughing at you.
In this one, you get a black screen, letting you know the game is over. And it's not Jason telling you, it's not some scary voice or voice bubble telling you... it's the game. The game, yes, the Nintendo Cartridge itself is telling you that you have unequivocally failed at the very task you were looking to achieve.
The kicker: THE TIMING. The fact that it tells you that not only you, but your friends (who you played as at some point) are dead is horrible... and then, as if you don't already know this... just to drive in the point that "EFF YOU, PLAYER"... "game over".
The timing of that "Game Over" feels like the same timing someone would give (at the end of a long rant about why you suck): "... oh yeah and you're ugly."
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