Paul Ryan Says There's Not Enough Time For SomethingSure, he's a "numbers guy", but he has repeatedly been asked about the details of Romney's financial plans only to dodge the questions by saying that it would take too long to answer these. If he actually says those words or a phrase like them, then drink.
Biden Messes Up Obama's Name or Title Somehow"Barry, I mean uh, Barack"
"Bara-uh, the uh, Mr. Obama"
"Mr. Obam-uh, the uh, The President"
Paul Ryan Makes His Kermit the Frog FaceYou know you see it. If he does this, take a drink and yell "yay" ("yay" = optional).
Either Candidate Casually Name Drops Hanging Out with their Running Mate"I was having lunch with Mr. Romney at an alcohol-free, caffeine-less restaurant the other day and..."
This Moment Will Be a Meme TomorrowGet your Photoshop toolbars ready. If someone makes a wonderful face, repeats something over and over again, or makes a small part of television / Internet history during this debate, then take a drink.
In the last debate, of course, it was Romney stating he wanted to fire Big Bird.
Biden Accidentally Makes a Sexual InnuendovThe Bidens have a tendency to get a little down-to-earth, which is really great while campaigning, but may come off as crass on the national stage.
Paul Ryan Flexes Under His SuitYou'll be able to tell. Just watch his neck. P90X or bust.
Bonus: This can be combined with Ryan making his Kermit the Frog face for two drinks!
Either Candidate Cracks a Joke...(even better) or tries to and fails. This can be combined with Awkward Mitt Moment and Obama Tries to Sound Cool.
Bonus: If the audience actually Ls OL, then take another drink.
A Candidiate Mentions a Former Vice PresidentCheney, Gore, Truman, Mondale... Quayle.
Actually Inspiring RhetoricIf a candidate says something you truly believe in (and think he will actually stand behind if elected), then you must take a drink.
Bonus: If this restores your faith in American politics, take a drink and 'cheers' the nearest American flag.
Ryan Backs Up an Inaccurate Fact Romney Stated in the 1st DebateEven though the fact-checkers went to town on Romney for lying through his teeth pretty much the entire time during the last debate, if Ryan reinforces one of those alleged lies, then drink.
A Candidate Forgets SomethingLike important statistics or the question that was just asked.
BURNGet that guy some ointment.
If a candidate turns a mean phrase or clearly owns their opponent verbally, then drink. You'll know when this happens.
Ryan Tries to Make Romney Seem HumanRandom anecdote about "Mitt" doing something kind, generous or intelligent.
Euphemism for a Controversial TopicYou know, so nobody thinks too much about icky things like abortion or gay rights.
Biden Fixes His HairHis weirdly long, receding, yet full head of hair.
Either Candidate Reinforces a Campaign SloganBecause Vice Presidential candidates are just watered down versions of their running mates, a lot of times they fall back on what they know they won't get in trouble for.
Either Candidate Lets Out a Huge GaffeWith these two Gaffe machines, there should be at least one campaign damning moment in this debate.
A Seemingly Irrelevant Anecdote That Takes Up Valuable Time"I recently met a disabled 1st generation immigrant doctor who was the first in her family to go to college and now owns her very own small business..." and the like.
A Candidate Answer a Different Question Than Was Asked"Good question, Martha, but first I think it's necessary to talk about ____"
It's hard to answer very specific questions with pre-rehearsed, carefully prepared answers.
Drink if either candidate does this.