- 1+ 17- 2
I Haven't Really Been Anywherev
Todd Maher: "Hi, how can I help you today?"
Walter Mitty: "Hi, I can't seem to leave a wink for someone."
Todd Maher: "Okay, I'm looking at your profile. You've left a lot of this stuff blank."
Walter Mitty: "Well I haven't really been anywhere noteworthy or mentionable."
Todd Maher: "Have you done anything noteworthy or mentionable?"
[Walter daydreams leaping into a nearby building and rescuing those inside before the building explodes.]
Todd Maher: "You still there?"
Walter Mitty: "I just, like, zoned out for a second."
Walter is smitten with a coworker and but is having trouble sending her a wink on the online dating site eHarmony. Upon calling into customer service, he learns that it's his blank profile, stemming from his uneventful life, that is holding him back. He does however have his daydreams, which are both notable and mentionable, but unfortunately, not real.
- 2+ 15- 2
It's a Porpoisev
Walter Mitty: "Where do we land?"
Helicopter Pilot: "We don't. Jump now"
[Walter jumps into the ocean]
Helicopter Pilot: "Not there, Walter. I mean the other boat, the little boat."
Boat Captain: "Try to remain calm. The pontoon boat is coming for you. You have at least a minute before you freeze."
Walter Mitty: "What?"
Boat Captain: "You are safe."
Walter Mitty: "There's nothing here. There's a fin here I think."
Boat Captain: "We are traveling through a porpoise school. Don't fear the porpoise."
Walter Mitty: "I don't think it's a porpoise."
Boat Captain: "I'm telling you. It's a porpoise. Befriend it. It will protect you from the sharks."
Walter Mitty: "Okay… Come here, hey, hey"
[A shark emerges from the water]
Boat Captain: "Okay, that's a shark."
Walter Mitty: "That's what I said!"
Boat Captain: "Stop befriending it! Kill it!"
Walter Mitty: "It's not a porpoise! It's not a porpoise!"
Boat Captain: "Poke his eyes out."
[Walter and is pulled into a boat.]
Walter Mitty: "Oh my god, that really happened." [touches the boat worker's face] "Real face, sorry for palming your face."
As he continues on his journey, Walter jumps out of a helicopter to board a large boat. He misses his landing however and ends up in the ocean where a shark, which is clearly not a porpoise, tries to eat him.
- 3+ 5- 0
Hotel Keeper: "Come on! Come on!"
Walter Mitty: "What's going on? Where is everybody?"
Hotel Keeper: "Elkos! Come on!"
Walter Mitty: "Elkos!"
Hotel Keeper: "Yes!"
Walter Mitty: "Elkos? What does that mean?"
Hotel Keeper: "Erection!"
Walter Mitty: "Erection?"
Hotel Keeper: "Erection!"
Walter Mitty: "Erection?"
Hotel Keeper: "Yes! No! Eruption!"
Walter Mitty: "Eruption?!"
Hotel Keeper: "Yes!"
[Hotel Keeper continues to shout in another language]
Walter Mitty: "Faster, go faster! Faster! Oh my god!"
The reason for the loud siren going off is initially unclear for the uninformed Walter, especially since the hotel keeper doesn't speak much English. Once Walter realizes their danger, he hops in the hotel keeper's car and try to escape the erupting volcano behind them.
- 4+ 5- 0
Ground Control to Major Tomv
Cheryl Melhoff: "Hi!"
Walter Mitty: "Hi"
Cheryl Melhoff: "How was your weekend?"
Female TIME Employee: "I had an awesome weekend! … So what'd you do this weekend"
Cheryl Melhoff: "Um, let's see. I bathed in Arctic mountain water while my Latin lover recited verse to me."
Female TIME Employee: "Sly!"
Cheryl Melhoff: "I know. Actually, I waited for my refrigerator repairman who never came."
Female TIME Employee: "So sorry. I'm going to call you later."
Cheryl Melhoff: "Okay"
[Walter's daydream begins as he breaks out of snowy picture as a mountain man]
Walter Mitty: "The ice, yes, she moves like a woman. I'm Walter… Mitty."
Cheryl Melhoff: "Cheryl… Melhoff. Where have you been?"
Walter Mitty: "Chasing the limits of the human spirit."
Cheryl Melhoff: "I'd like to climb your hair, test that out."
Walter Mitty: "Perhaps I can contact you, possibly through my poetry falcon."
Cheryl Melhoff: "Poetry falcon, I like that."
[back in the office]
Ted Hendricks: "Do you think if I hit him with a paperclip, would he move?"
Male TIME Employee: "I don't know. Do it."
Other Male TIME Employee: "Oh, hello, here you go."
Male TIME Employee: "I actually threw a toner box at him once."
Ted Hendricks: "And did he move?"
Male TIME Employee: "No, I missed."
Ted Hendricks: "That's a great story." [to Walter] "Ground control to Major Tom. Can you hear me Major Tom?" [throws paperclip] "Oh! Wow! Moving on…"
After Walter is snubbed by coworker and love interest Cheryl, he imagines romancing her as a tough mountain man. His fantasy is however interrupted by his boss who flings a paperclip at him.
- 5+ 6- 1
TSA Officer: "How'd you get to Afghanistan?"
Walter Mitty: "Through Yemen"
TSA Officer: "Violent place"
Walter Mitty: "They's why the airfare is only $84."
Clearly a travel rookie, Walter travels to Afghanistan through a very dangerous Yemen and attracts the attention of the TSA. But hey, at least he got a good deal.
- 6+ 7- 3
Ted Hendricks: "We have ahead of us the privilege of publishing the very last issue of LIFE magazine and for the final issue, we just received negative #25 from Sean O'Connell for the cover."
Walter Mitty: "Where's 25?"
TIME Employee: "It's not there."
Walter Mitty: "I know."
TIME Employee: "Maybe it's still on him."
Faced with producing the final issue of TIME magazine, it's very important that Walter has slide #25 from noted photojournalist Sean O'Connell for the cover. When that slide goes missing, it's Walter's neck on the line.
- 7+ 6- 2
Life Is About Couragev
Cheryl Melhoff: "I love mysteries. There's parts you think can't connect and then in the end they do."
Cheryl Melhoff: "Life is about courage and going into the unknown."
Cheryl shares her outlook on life to Walter. Her desire to be courageous and solve mysteries rubs off on him.
- 8+ 5- 1
Edna Mitty: "What do you call it when he goes into one of his little places?"
Odessa Mitty: "Oh, zoned out"
Edna Mitty: "You do that now and then. What's the matter?"
Walter Mitty: "I lost a picture."
Walter's mom, Edna, points out that Walter often zones out in his little dream worlds, noting that it's not really normal. Walter soon explains what's on his mind, namely, a missing photo.
- 9+ 4- 0
Todd from EHarmonyv
Walter Mitty: "Hello"
Todd Maher: "Hey, what's up?"
Walter Mitty: "Todd, from eHarmony?"
Todd Maher: "Yeah, yeah, what's up, man?"
Walter Mitty: "Uh, not much. How have you been?"
Todd Maher: "It's early here. I just got up, man. I was thinking about you."
Walter Mitty: "Where are you?"
Todd Maher: "Los Angeles. Hey uh so your profile still hasn't received any winks even though I put that you've been to Phoenix."
Walter Mitty: "Oh, I jumped out of a helicopter yesterday into the ocean and had a shark bite."
Todd Maher: "Uh, yeah, yeah, listen, I was mentioning before, people who daydream too much, they're not…"
Walter Mitty: "No, it was real. I really did."
Todd Maher: "Really? I'll put down adrenaline junkie. What kind of a shark? Was it a…"
Walter Mitty: "Hey, Todd, I can't really talk right now. I'm on my way to a volcano."
Todd Maher: "What the?"
Todd, the customer service representative from eHarmony, calls to check up on Walter after trying to enhance his boring and blank online dating profile. While Todd doesn't believe it at first, Walter is out living the world, bicycling to a volcano in fact, and can't talk right then.
- 10+ 2- 1
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