Do you think you can handle it? Can you overcome potential dating problems? Hopefully you'll get some answers on this list that will help you navigate the murky waters of dating.
Stop Dropping Hints
"Hi, I just got home from work. I didn't have dinner yet. What are you doing?"
Translation: I don't have dinner plans and even if I did, I'd break them to be with you.
"So what are you doing? Oh, that's cool. No, not much. Just hanging out, you know?"
Translation: I have nothing to do. Please invite me over.
"So, when are you off? Oh, you just got off?? You're - you're on your way home? Oh. Oh, ok."
Translation: What?! You're not on your way to see me? WTF?
"So yeah, this weekend I'm out of town with my parents but might be back early. I'll have Sunday evening free. Nothing to do Sunday evening."
Translation: You'd better be free because I just said that I am.
"Do you have plans after work? I was thinking of going out but don't have a ride."
Translation: Will you be my taxi and spend the night?Honestly, if a man wants to see you...he'll make himself available. Remember, there was life before you. There can be life during you and you can bet all the IOU's in the national deficit that there will be life after you.
Stop Planning OUR Future
I'm a woman that was born with a little black book in one and a list of excuses in the other, so I know I'm an exception to the next categorization. Women who plan their wedding before meeting puberty (boys have cooties, but I want a tulle gown with floral beading). You know what I mean. Personally, I don't see the rush. Why not have Mr. Could Be stay Mr. Could Be for a while, instead of making him Mr. Right overnight? It's usually much more fun.
So seriously, when you're dating a guy, don't deliberately invite him to IKEA under the pretense of "I'm buying my Dad a gift and need your input," and start taking off his socks and rubbing his feet after spotting a couch that would "be perfect for us!"
Also (deep breath):
Don't start pausing at jewelry store windows whenever you guys are out shopping, stare at a 10kt solitaire and sigh with longing.
Don't get all misty-eyed around other people's kids, link your arm through his and say "Don't you just wish you had one?"
Don't start bringing items over to his place, thinking he won't notice until you start using them and then say "So it feels natural to have my loofah in your shower!"
Don't steal business cards out of his wallet - or, better yet, don't program his friends into your cell phone and then stare at your contact list, wondering who eats beef or who you should put next to the maid of honor at your wedding.
Don't pepper him with questions about "where he sees this going" or "if he sees a f*ture with you" or if he "could see himself with you for a long time" or if he thinks his mom will like you.
Trust me, when the man is ready, he'll come to you. And if you're lucky, maybe even crawl.
Do Not Play Mind Games
A lot of girlfriends feel like they have to be mysterious. But to men, it's just plain confusing. For example, a friend of mine has a girlfriend who is incapable of a straight answer, and conversations between them usually goes as follows:
Q: "What did you do today?"
Q: "Hey, do you have to work today?"
A: "It's a snow day."
Q: "Would you like me to pick you up?"
A: "Not sure where I am"
Q: "I'm confused. You told me to come in and say hi."
A: "My mom didn't invite you. Sorry."
Now, we all know where this is going and seen it too many times it hurts. The girl's beating around the bush, and the poor guy's the bush. Just like we hate it when guys play dumb, guys actually hate it when women play coy. So give 'em a straight answer and if they don't get it, you then have permission to get mad at them for playing dumb.
Also, men are not stupid. They only seem stupid but erections are painful when they go down. Honestly, men can tell when you've been doing something you shouldn't. Just like you can tell when someone else has been driving your car. It just doesn't run the same, does it?Yeah.
Do Not Try Too Hard
Contrary to Mean Girls, nobody wants to be a Plastic. We all know the kind, and they fall easily into two categories.
1. Fake - literally. As in, nothing is real or organic. As in, that body will still be intact centuries from now. That Boeing jet? Her donated body parts and organs.
2. Fake - desperate to please. This usually stems from severe insecurity and the thought, however misguided, that her man will easily leave her for someone else. This person is a product of what she thinks her man wants, not what he actually really wants.
Lesson of the day: stop trying so hard. You don't need the fake expressions, the fake sexy laugh, the fake hair (the blonde extensions aren't you, so toss them), and the fake conversations (if you really want to talk about pyrotechnics, go for it).
The point is, just be yourself. Besides, you wouldn't a guy liking the person you're pretending to be. The act can only last for so long and you'll hate yourself every step of the way.