- 1+ 132- 17
Treat It, Don't Beat Itv
Noah: "My name's Noah Jaybird. Ca caaa! What's your name?"
Soul Baby: "They call me Soul. Soul Baby."
Noah: "Soul Baby?"
Soul Baby: "Yeah."
Noah: "Keep it in control baby. Tears, no fears man."
Soul Baby: "Is that right?"
Noah: "Respect it, don't neglect it. Treat it, don't beat it." (Walks away)
Soul Baby: "You're a bada** motherf**ker."
Noah brings the kiddos to a bar and encounters Mr. Soul Baby. His attempts to fit in and be cool are cringe-worthy, to say the least. Noah Jaybird is just looking to get his a** kicked. Fortunately for him, Soul Baby seems to like him.
- 2+ 46- 10
I Know I Look Good
Noah: "What is your deal? Why are you wearing so much makeup?"
Blithe (singing along with the radio): "Lookin' all fly on my way to the club, gonna dance all night, and get f**ked up!' Say whatever you want, I know I look good."
Blithe has got to be one of the most obnoxious children ever. Forget her brother's GPS, she's going to need to be locked UP by the time she's 13.
- 3+ 19- 7
Noah (to Slater): "What's up little tampon?"
Another great quote from Jonah Hill/Noah from 'The Sitter.' I wouldn't recommend this particular nickname for the kiddo if you're babysitting, though. Not unless you never want to do it again.
- 4+ 13- 2
Do What I Sayv
Blithe: "My real babysitter, Nancy, she does what I want her to do."
Noah: "I'm not a real babysitter. I'm more of a sit on the couch, do what I say or I'll kill you type of babysitter."
(Blithe sprays Noah)
Noah: "Ah, you sprayed perfume in my mouth!"
Blithe: "I hate you."
Noah: "I'll destroy you."
(Blithe sprays Noah, again)
Noah: "Ahhh you did it again!!!"
How hard can babysitting be? That's probably what Noah was thinking when he agreed to do it. Not the most glamorous of jobs, particularly for a young guy, but hey, you earn what you can how you can. Unfortunately for Noah, all three of his charges wind up being monstrous little creatures, including sweet-looking little girl Blithe (who enjoys using perfume like pepper spray, apparently).
- 5+ 12- 2
Looking for a Small Hispanic Boy
Maitre' D: "May I help you, sir?"
Noah: "Yeah. Uh...I'm looking for a small Hispanic boy. About four foot eight, leather jacket, pajamas, cowboy boots. Have you seen him?"
Maitre' D: "No. I've not seen a four foot eight Hispanic boy in a leather jacket, pajamas and cowboy boots. Probably would remember that."
Noah: "Something tells me that you have before, you f**king asshole."
The Maitre'D isn't going to be snickering or laughing once he realizes just how destructive this little boy, with his cowboy boots and leather jacket, really is.
- 6+ 15- 6
Gangster: "You got some big a** balls, man."
Noah: "Can't find underwear. Balls don't fit."
'The Sitter' promises a wealth of memorable quotes, including this one by Noah.
- 7+ 7- 2
I'm a Grandma!
Soul Baby: "You know this ain't no place for no kids."
Noah: "These aren't kids, these are little people. (Points to Blithe) "This woman is forty eight years old. Her children have children!"
Blithe: "Hi! I'm a grandma!"
Soul Baby is easily one of the funniest characters in 'The Sitter.' Blithe, however, is a very close second.
- 8+ 6- 2
Noah: "Slater, seriously: Tell me you're not wearing a fanny pack. Tell me I'm imagining that and that's not what I'm actually seeing."
Slater: "I need it to carry my pills."
Noah: "Why do you take those pills anyway?"
Slater: "I already told you I have issues."
Noah: "Issues? You look like a Gap model! When I was your age I had a mouth full of braces and a face like a Papa John's pizza. Those are real issues, my man."
Noah, Slater clearly has issues that go way beyond the typical teenage problems. A fanny pack is a must.
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