Sulu and ChekovLet's face it....there were only three real characters on the original Star Trek series (four if you count Scotty) but Sulu, Chekov and Uhura pretty much sat around the bridge for 79 episodes and just made expository comments or bad jokes about Russia. They rarely got a lot to do.
Not in the slash world though. Nope, in this world these two yellow shirted characters are gettin' it on left and right. And considering how often Captain Kirk beams down to a planet on an away mission, it is easy for the boys to play "when Daddy's away". The Sulu/Chekov pairings usually go something like this:
"'Good morning!" Lt. Sulu's voice was obscenely cheerful as he entered his cabin. "Boy, the bridge is sure quiet today." His captive had no choice but to remain quiet himself. "Pretty boring stuff," the helmsman reported brightly, making unidentifiable noises around the room. "You know how it is -maintaining standard orbit around a planet with a skeleton crew while everyone else is down there having a good time... Well, almost everyone." "Mmmm," the lieutenant said, cupping the ensign's rump in his hands. "Nothing better for a coffee break than sweet buns..."
Somehow, this all ends in some S&M type scenario, but then...doesn't everything?
Odo & QuarkOdo is Deep Space Nine's shapeshifter security chief whose natural shape is a bucket of goo.
Quark is basically Ferengi with giant ears that wrap around his head, and bulbous cranium, and fangs for teeth.
Somewhere in the world, there is someone who wanted these two characters to have sex SO much they needed to write about it, and then share it with the world.
I guess the contempt these two characters shared for each other on the show ultimately had to result in some kind of sex, no matter how frickin' weird it was.
Odo also had relations with the former Cardassion head of Deep Space Nine, Gul Dukat. In one story, Dukat makes Odo use his shape changing ability to his advantage -
"I heard you know some more tricks," the Cardassian said. "Maybe, but I won't perform them for you." "You are nothing, Odo. That's your name. Whatever you do here, you do so because we allow you to." Odo's head sank, his gaze coming to rest on the man's boots. "And tonight, you will do as I say."
I gotta say, shapeshifting for your evil master makes more sense than Odo ever having sex with Quark.And it is probably a hell of a lot sexier.
Ensign Kim & Tom ParisPoor Ensign Harry Kim. Not only did he never get promoted in the entire seven year run of Star Trek: Voyager, but he was also the most useless and lame character on what was the most useless and lame Star Trek show of all time. (That is, until Enterprise debuted.)
One of the few things he got to do on the show was pal around with Lt. Tom Paris, and the two had a friendship that would rival Data and Geordi LaForge on The Next Generation (item #3).
As with all male friendships on Trek shows, this would provide lots of sexual fodder for the writers of slash fic, as it seems aside from "Mistress Janeway" Ensign Kim and Tom Paris were the biggest Voyager centric subject of slash fic I could find.
Something about these two characters must have really made people wanna see them have sex, because they were quite the popular fantasy.
Charles Trip Tucker & Malcolm ReedThe least popular version of Star Trek has to be Star Trek: Enterprise, the show that helped drive Trek into the ground until their 2009 reboot on the big screen. Only lasting four seasons, it was the first modern Trek show to get cancelled without lasting seven seasons since the original in 1969. Pretty much except for the final season, this show sucked balls.
Speaking of sucking balls, Enterprise did have enough fans to spawn some slash fic, mostly centered on the sexual relationship of Chief Engineer Charles "Trip" Tucker and British weapons officer Malcolm Reed.
This relationship is interesting, because originally Malcolm Reed was supposed to be the first gay officer on a Star Trek series.
Despite decades of claiming to be about diversity, no main Trek character was ever officially gay or lesbian. It is rumored that then Star Trek head honcho Rick Berman put the kibosh on any gay characters on Trek.
Which just made the writers of slash even more empowered, as Reed was supposed to have been gay anyway. Why not pair him with the most attractive guy on the ship, Trip Tucker?
And that is just what they did, in droves.
There is possibly more Malcolm Reed/Trip Tucker slash fic than for any other characters on the show. Even poor Scott Bakula doen't get half the online slashfic as these two do.
And I think we're all okay with that.
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