10. Gabriel "Gabe" Logan (Syphon Filter)OK, so he has one of the most unimaginative nicknames in video games. And he technically works for an group called the "International Presidential Consulting Agency", which sounds like he should simply give some handy stock advice to various presidents rather than be an awesome super-spy, but, that's what he ends up being.BUY @ amazon
Now this may sound like a super-derivative cliche storm of epic proportions, but, OK so he’s pretty much a derivative character working for a knock-off agency in a generic world, and Gabe himself has about as much actual personality as a block of wood.
Pictured: "Gabe"s Personality
But the fact reamains Syphon Filter games were actually pretty damn good.
Yeah, it's like the umpteemth time you end up stopping mad men from trying to release a deadly super-virus on the world with your asian-chick assistant. Breaking necks and using silenced pistols to work your way through enemy compounds, but it's never really been mishandled horribly. It's just never had too much else going on other than . . .solidity. Hence the block of wood.
Besides, Gabe Logan is probably the best example of a "realistic" counter-terrorist. Or at least as close as we're getting before we head into Tom Clancy-Town (and we will be heading there, count on that). Yeah he’s highly trained, yeah he travels the world fighting bastards threatening everybody with a deadly super-virus, but he’s also totally boring. Have you ever met anyone from the CIA? This is usually the case: badass, but duller than dishwater.
Also to my buddy in the CIA, sorry bro. Please don't wiretap my phone! Oh wait. You probably already did that due to all the crimes.
This gives Mr. Logan the "seemingly accurate to real life award", and get’s him put on the list, just not as high as he would be if he you know, could prove to be affable, or funny, or well, anything other than generically badass.
Oh, and though it may seem like I'm bashing Gabe a bit here, you should know he took this spot from Michael Thornton in Alpha Protocol. A protagonist designed from birth to be the strongest combo of "bland" and "annoying" as humanly possible.
Thornton - you're a lot like Towlie, as in "the worst character ever".
9. Blade and Striker (Bad Dudes)We live in a time when terrorism can be all too real. Scary men with scary ideologies could decide to blow up you, your family, and your way of life on any day of the week. Could you imagine then, how much worse it would be if the terrorists WERE ALSO NINJAS?BUY @ amazon
That’s just what’s going on in Bad Dudes. A string of Ninja-Terror attacks is plaguing the country, and their leader, DragonNinja, has decided to culminate his blood orgy of chaos and general dickery by kidnapping President Ronnie, just so he can watch him squirm.
That’s when two dudes, toughened from a life just living . . . bad, basically say "GTFO DragonNinja!" and walk, yes walk, very slowly to NinjaDragon HQ, punching and kicking every single Ninja minion along the way, including the fire-breathing Russian god Karnov. All this before punching DragonNinja through the teeth and then chowing down on a burger with their main man, President Ronnie.
Just look at how bad they are!
Were they complicated? No.
Were they technologically advanced? No.
Were they even all that well trained or using any sort of tactical advantage or technique? hell no! They just walked over there - very slowly!
But they were definitely . . . bad.
So while not the best of the best in terms of gear, weaponry, tactics, or intelligence, Blade and Striker definitely brought the attitude needed to combat the worst the world has to offer. When you consider the totality of what Ninja-Terrorism would mean . . .
They would even assault our ears!
That has to be worth a spot on the list.
8. Jason Fleming (Shadow Complex)Oh great. Another dark-haired, handsome video game protagonist voiced by Nolan North.BUY @ amazon
What's it going to be this time Northy? Smarmy adventurer looking for buried treasure? Pilot-turned-jetpack-wearing-clone of said smarmy adventurer? Random guy whose ancestors are way more interesting than himself?
Oh OK, we'll go with kid trained by his dad to be a soldier thrust into a situation he doesn't fully comprehend, but rises against all odds to save the day. That'll work.
At the start of Shadow Complex, a separatist faction of ultra-leftists called "The Restoration" are planning to trigger a civil war in the United States. They open up with a deadly strike that claims the life of the Vice President, so yeah, they're total D-bags.
Enter Jason Fleming, on a lovely day-hike with his gal pal Claire. She goes missing, and it turns out that the mountain the couple have been picnicking on is secretly the UNDERGROUND BASE OF DOOM for the Restoration forces. Fleming calls upon his training and assembles pieces of the Restorations advanced technology in order to turn himself from a decently capable guy armed with your standard firearms into a super soldier capable of running at sonic speeds, leaping multiple stories, and punching mechs into a different timezone.
I know it's f*ture-tech and all, but how the hell does he see anything without eye-holes or sensors?
In many ways Jason Fleming here isn't much more than a pastiche of all of Nolan North's characters and Gabe Logan above. What separates him from the pack though, is this kickass suit. It essentially turns him from yet another Nathan Drake clone into a modern-day Samus Aran, which is obviously what it was meant to do.
Oddly enough, unlike most of the following characters on the list, Jason doesn't have any strong government ties other than his girlfriend Claire, who as it turns out, was secretly working for the NSA the whole time and manipulating Jason into being the hero. Humorously, if this pisses you off, you can screw canon continuity over and completely ditch her.
Isn't that just the way though? You meet a nice girl, hit it off, try to build a solid foundation for a relationship and then BAM! She drops the bombshell! She really just needed your super awesome spy skills drilled into you by your over-bearing dad in your youth to try to stop a domestic terror threat!
Happens to me all the time . . .
7. Mega Man (in both Classic and X series)When you stop to think about it, Dr. Wily is actually more of a terrorist than anything else.BUY @ amazon
I mean sure, he's a mad scientist too, but how does he go about his goals? He doesn't create a robot army bent on domination and control of territory, but rather activates existing robots like sleeper agents to his cause, destroying and controlling key facilities across the globe, holding them hostage until whatever vague demands he has are met. He then hops into his latest vehicle that could always be described as a weapon of mass destruction in his whacked out skull bunker somewhere in the mountains of what always looks like an arid region to me.
Plus let's face facts, he has crazy facial hair - always the mark of a terrorist.
That's when the governments of the world call Dr. Light on the big red emergency phone, and he sends in his one-bot squad of action: the super fighting robot . . . MEGA MAN!
Mega Man zooms in via teleporter and quickly blasts his way through the levels defeating the leader and taking his powers. Though maybe not as ninja as a real Seal team or anything, it's definitely a strike force mentality: hit 'em fast, hit 'em hard, and get out before reinforcements arrive.
This dichotomy of "Villain attacks suddenly and holds disparate locations while a lone agent strikes targets quickly" forms the basis of the gameplay for the series which continues for each of the "mainline" games (Battle Network, Soccer and the rest of the Spin-Offs not being counted), but no where is it more apparent than in Mega Man X4. Here Sigma's Maverick Reploids crash a flying city into another (land based) city- solely to spread chaos, terror and destruction. They then proceed with their goal of using an orbiting space station to cause the same destruction on a planetary scale! If that's not a terrorist act, I don't know what is.
Now, there is one major problem with the original Mega Man though - he never kills Wily. I mean sure, it's against the laws of robotics and all . . . but seriously. Dude needed a charged up buster shot to the face.
This is why Doc Light creates X I think. He needs a robot capable of true free will and the ability to end a villain once and for all. In fact the X series is probably one of the few cases of the nineties trend of making everything "darker and edgier" worked out rather well.
At the very least, it worked out better than Cable, but what didn't? Amirite?
6. The Smiths (Killer 7)You know how in The Dark Knight, the Joker keeps trying to get Batman to go over to his side and become just as deadly as he is? Trying to show that you have to be crazy in order to fight crazy?BUY @ amazon
Well Killer 7 is kind of like that. Crazy piled upon crazy piled upon crazy until you're left with a gibbering mess of insanity that even H.P. Lovecraft could only look at and go, "Damn. That s**t is wack yo." to. For the incredulous and the uninitiated, this includes in no particular order:
Play as a dude who can become other dudes by changing channels on a TV set, seeing ghosts wearing bondage gear, a bi-polar nurse lady, cutting yourself and using the spray of blood to break through walls, a luchador carrying dual grenade launchers, Kevin Smith, enemies that like to roll giant eggs at you, a character who probably belongs in Jet Grind Radio, freeways that span the Pacific Ocean, and explosions. Lots and lots of explosions of all kinds.
The Killer 7 are an elite team of international assassins, all with the surname Smith (hence the title of the entry as I wasn't referring to the band). In truth they're all personality fragments of a psychopath that can switch forms between them - and these are the good guys!
Why is it that whenever people line up for a photo, you can never get everyone to look at the camera? What the hell Killer 7? This is for your Facebook Page!
So what is the threat that's so beyond the the realm of normalcy that the governments of the world need to call upon these bat-s**t bastards? Kun Lan, an evil leader of a Terror group called Heaven's smile. His soldiers run around completely invisible to normal folks, blowing themselves up whenever they can get away with it, and they're all these weird sort of deranged zombies! This isn't mentioning the crazy angel winged bosses or the alien birthing pods that create the zombie-terrorist eggs!
I'd try to explain it in more detail, but I don't think I can. Not out of respect for spoilers. I just don't think I actually can. This game takes the idea of "going off the rails" and applies it to everything - plot, character, setting, design. Nothing is spared.
"Shhh. Don't tell anyone, but I think the game I'm in is a bit weird."
Well no s**t Iwazaru.
Anyway, the Killer 7 still end up being pretty awesome mostly because they're nucking f*ts. I mean no other entry on this list is going to include a character who head-butts boulders in order to clear a path! Well . . . maybe Mega Man could pull that off, but he never did it in luchador business attire, that's for sure.
So if you want your counter-striking gameplay presented through the eyes of an escaped mental patient who somehow got a job at Capcom, look no further than Killer 7. It will be surreal, but you'll definitely never forget it at least.
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