I Woke Up Late and Figured It Was Too Late To Come InWe’ve all done this. Supposed to report for work at 8am and the alarm maybe didn’t go off on time. You wake up at 10am, figure your boss goes to lunch at 11am or noon, so you wait until then and THEN call in. By that time, they won’t get that message until around 1pm and by then, well, it’s too late. Yes, I've turned this into an exact science.
My Wife Told Me To Have a Good Day - I'm just Following Her Advice"Do YOU want to be the one to tell her that I didn’t listen to her and did what I please instead? I didn’t think so."
I'm Suffering From Amnesia and Just Wondered What This Number Was"Are you sure? Really? I don’t really remember who I am but I’m pretty positive you're sitting in my office and that I'm off today."
My Therapist Advises Against It"I’m exercising my right to say no. NO."
Al Roker Says It's a Snow DayJust don’t do this on a sunny day…. with clear skies…in Los Angeles.
I’m Suffering From CoccygodyniaI advise this technique only if you DON’T work in a doctors’ office.
I'm Clinically Depressed and Will Only Bring Everyone Else Down"Well, given that it’s Thursday, I’m pretty sure it won’t clear up until Monday. I’m doing this for ALL of us and I’m almost positive I have extra mental health days stored away. Check my file."
Power Outage"Well, Big Guy, my electric hybrid is dead...No, I don’t have a bus pass and I refuse to use my daughters’ tricycle."
Someone Stole My CarThis will only work as long as your boss doesn’t ask for a copy of the police report. And make sure you have a vehicle worth stealing - it won't do you any good if you've gone to lunch together in your 1984 Ford Taurus.
My Street is being RepavedIf you’re going to use this excuse, make sure you don’t list off a major boulevard, otherwise your boss (assuming they are lucid) will pull it up on Cigalert.com and bust your ass.
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