L The List
- 1Before Jon Favreau became the acclaimed/chubby director behind Iron Man, he was the relatively unknown/chubby star of a little movie called Swingers. Directed by Doug Liman (who went on to make the Bourne Identity and the celluloid afterbirth known as Jumper), Swingers was a movie that gave filmgoers a sudden cinematic injection of bromantic camaraderie and snazzy one-liners. And, while Swingers did much to add a sense of youthful, mainstream vitality to the word of quasi-independent film during the late 90’s, it also unfortunately spawned an endless supply of one-liners for douchebags across America to spout ad nauseam. Nowadays, it’s a well-known completely made up fact that 65% of all communication on road trips to Vegas is comprised of Swingers quotage (the other 35% comes from Fear and Loathing and repeated, semi-incompressible grunts of "Vegas, Baby! Vegas!"). Is it annoying? Absolutely. We get it buddy…you’re so money and you don’t even know it. This is me giving you the finger.
- 2Few movies in the last 10 years have contributed so greatly to the global pop-culture lexicon as 2004’s Napoleon Dynamite—a fact made even more amazing when you consider the film itself was made dirt cheap and without any big name actors. That being said, if you still think quoting Napoleon Dynamite is even remotely clever, you should probably consider jumping in a volcano or something. Look, I’m not dissing Napoleon Dynamite as a movie; I just think the respectable window of time to quote the film has definitely passed. It’s time to move on to another quirky, independent comedy to get our fix. And—before you head there—Juno just doesn’t count. Start quoting that I may have the reflexive reaction to punch you in the face. Honest to blog.
- 5Right after Borat came out, remember how everyone you knew—friends, coworkers, relatives—were quoting the movie like crazy? Yeah, that was funny for a total of thirty seconds. Granted, I laughed my ass off when I first saw Borat in the theater back in 2006, but overtime the joke wore thin—much like Carrot Top’s career. In terms of a "hip-ness barometer," I think it’s safe to say that as soon as your mom begins quoting something, it’s no longer cool. And, so died the comedic value of the Borat impression.
Nevertheless, this hasn’t stopped people from continually regurgitating things like "Niice!’ and "High-Five" at office Christmas parties and summer barbeques across the country. I guarantee that some guy in accounting in Topeka, Kansas is doing it as I type this very sentence. So, while it may no longer be socially acceptable, the Borat impression continues to live on. In other words, quoting Borat is the equivalent of wearing crocs or t-shirts with unicorns painted on them.
- 6There’s no denying that Will Ferrell is a funny dude. But, for some reason his comedies with writing partner/director Adam McKay always feel more like Saturday Night Live Sketches than actual movies. Parts of them are really funny, but as a whole they come off as overlong and unfulfilling (much like sex with me).
Overall, I think Anchorman is the worst offender when comes to the "funny, but overrated category." Are parts brilliant? Damn straight! It just doesn’t sustain that level of greatness throughout. The same could be said for quoting lines from film. For Example:
1.) "Dorothy Mantooth is a Saint!!"— Hilarious.
2.) "I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch…"— I want to knife you when you’re asleep.
Just keep that in mind the next time you and your brahs try to start an unrehearsed performance of Afternoon Delight. Believe me, I’ll be watching…