L The List
Parent Sells Themselves On Craigslist to Pay Off School DebtA Boston area parent posted an ad on Craigslist under "jobs wanted" with this title, "Do You Need A Live Cadaver? Take My Body."
Which is perfect and *exactly* like that joke from the new Louis CK CD (which you should 100% buy and support).
You might be wondering why she did this. Well, it was for a noble cause -- to pay off their kid's student loans which totaled out to about $200,000. The poster, who did not offer a name or gender but did offer up his or her body for anything "legal or medically experimental" went on to say, "if you eliminate my children's student loans, I will give you my life!"
Here's the thing, if someone has $200,000 in student loans they probably earned a pretty heft degree -- lawyer, doctor, scientist... can't they pay off their own loans with that kind of career? Maybe they got an art degree, but were out of state. I assume this is the scenario.
They said they were 5 feet 10 inches tall, 200 pounds and have all their "organs in working order."
"Take my blood, take my plasma. Drill into my brain, my leg, my arm. Tap my heart, my liver, my kidney, I am very very serious."
That is a committed parent. And a weird human being with very few problem solving skills and their heart in the right place... for now.
Girl Sells Her Body To Pay For School FeesAn 18-year-old Singaporean girl posted a picture of herself in a bikini in order to entice people to pay her...so she can pay her school fees. "I'm new here and need cash urgently. Brothers, please help me!" was was her plea, and her goal was $16,000. She was asking for $150 per hour, not including room charges and condoms. She also specified that clients would have to book and pay for the hotel rooms. She gave her measurements, class schedule, and phone number.
So, naturally a reporter from the Chinese Daily called "Amanda", she told him that she had been doing this "side job" for over two months and served 10 customers to date. She said that she slept with Singapore's Edison Chen, and Gary Ng, a guy who recently made the news for secretly filming his sex partners in bed. She probably would've charged more for that...
Girl Sells Sex In Exchange For iPhoneA Chinese college student offered herself up for an iPhone 4s, here's the twist—she's offering up months of service. I'm guessing this is a pay per month plan, offpeak hours, no data. For every month she has the phone, you get her vagina. Which is smart because iPhone data packages cost an arm and a leg (and a body, face, etc. apparently).
She offered this deal over China's "weibo" which is their version of a mircoblog, but what she didn't count on was her boyfriend finding out about this, which ruined everything for all the horrible, horrible human beings taking her up on this offer (and somehow getting their hands on an early iPhone 4S).
Really, who needs a boyfriend when you have an iPhone? They actually have an app for that.
Girls Sells Body, But Only For Branded GoodsA reporter trolled the personal ads of an Asian newspaper and found one girl who just wanted money for "luxury goods".
Not school, a dying parent or to support her family like most people doing this stuff, but so she could afford everything outlined in that one Kreayshawn song.
The reporter responded and the girl said she was looking for a sugar daddy to give her an allowance, and when the reporter offered $3,000 a month the girl said that was too little, but $4,500 was good which goes to show that if she just went into business she'd be making a killing. Luckily, this is exactly what she was doing, as the other conditions included meeting only on weekdays, cash only because she was only a 22-year-old girl studying for a business degree who refused to forego luxuries.
She also said that she had a health certificate to prove that she was not carrying any sexually transmitted infections (STIs). She added that using a condom was compulsory, but then she said it would be okay to go bareback if he showed proof that he was clean which probably means her medical reports often come back like Mr. Burns's.
She was cool to meet up right away and made it known that if anything happened payment came before play.
She had no qualms with agreeing to travel overseas, or appearing at social events, provided that expenses were taken care of, which means when she filled out the purpose of her travel as "pleasure" she probably smirked at least once.
When she was asked why she does this, she first stuck to the story that she needed the money for school but then she changed her tune and said she used the money to pay for her grandmother's medical bills, but then she said that she wanted the money to indulge in luxury goods, she said: "My parents don't know I'm doing this. It's a lifestyle I am used to."
She told the reporter that she has been hooking up with sugar daddies since she was 16 and has had two in the 6 years she's been "working".
And now, THIS: