Woman Sells Herself for Flying Horse in Video Game
This must have caused the ultimate Sophie's choice for hardcore gamers on Craigslist. I'm glad I wasn't in their shoes because god only knows what I would've done.
A woman needed 5,000 gold coins (which is the currency in the game World Of Warcraft) so she could buy an "epic flying mount". Instead of earning the coins herself she hopped on Craigslist and offered up the most valuable thing she had to offer the world at the time: some sex *cue 70s music that was actually very rarely used in real porn*.
In her Craigslist ad she explained what she was looking for down to the last detail (as "epic flying mount" somehow wasn't clear enough) and also asked that the person responding "send a picture, be real, drug and disease free, and have the 5,000 "coins" she "needed". She also asked for payment up front. Which is awesome. And legal, somehow.
But then word got around... I mean Craigslist isn't a place to post things you don't want everyone to know about. She got very upset when people made fun of her on the internet, so to remedy this she took out ANOTHER Craigslist ad, demonstrating that this girl was most likely related to that one woman who swallowed a fly we all grew up singing about.
In her new ad she said she got her "epic flying mount and got laid which is more than most of you failures can ever hope for" and that she was meeting up with some guy for a second go.
So, she has that going for her...which is nice.
Kid Sells Kidney For iPad2
This guy sold one thing you don't need for another, which I guess makes sense.
Apple products are notoriously hard to get when they first come out, because as well all know, you either wait in line for days, or shell out an inordinate amount of cash or do the unforgivable and be a patient civilized human being, waiting a few extra weeks for something that will make your poops more fun.
Well, this 17 year-old Chinese teen just couldn't wait so instead of being patient, he became a patient. (*Catches the tomato you just threw and throws it back into the crowd screaming and ripping his shirt off*)
The kid, only identified by his surname Zheng since he's apparently a Dick Tracy villain of some kind (?), sold his kidney for an iPad 2. According to Shanghai Daily, the boy "wanted an iPad 2 but could not afford it." However, a "broker" (aka black market organ hustler) contacted the boy online and offered to help Zheng sell his kidney for 20,000 yuan (about $3,100). He agreed and had his kidney removed for an iPad 2 in what could only have been the safest of operating tables. Also, this almost makes me want to sell my kidney to finally afford that real doll I've been meaning to get for the carpool lane. I mean who needs two kidneys in this economy?
So he was given the money (roughly $3,400) right after the removal. He went home with an iPad and his mother asked where he got it (not where he was for days because I'm pretty sure surgery and recovery takes time if the movie 9 Months has taught me correctly). Anyway, he confessed to his mother what he had done and so she called the police like a jerk.
Strangely enough the police were unable to contact the black market dealer and brokers. Shocking that this guy was unreachable. And, of course, since the surgery Zheng has since had post-surgery issues. The hospital where his kidney was illegally removed wasn't qualified or equipped to do that kind of procedure. The hospital also claimed they had no knowledge of the surgery, though they did admit to contracting out the urology department to a Fijian businessman (the best urologists in the world).
Zheng's health continues to decline and while he may not be able to run and play sports like a normal 17 year-old he's already beat your high score on Angry Birds Seasons (2012) and your score on non-arcade Fruit Ninja. So take THAT, society.
Woman Offers Sex For McNuggets
People say fast food is addicting, and extremely bad for your health and Khadijah Baseer proved just how true those statements may be for her.
She would go to a McDonald's, would walk up to people's cars, open their doors, and offer them "sexual favors" of the oral persuasion, in exchange for... Chicken McNuggets (which proves the point I was trying to make to my girlfriend last night about McDonald's really needing to invest in new dipping sauces).
Police were eventually called when the woman, Baseer, was caught providing a service to McDonald's customers that probably left them feeling that same familiar mix of needing a shower and deep, paralyzing regret you get after eating a Big Mac meal anyway. Baseer was, of course, arrested.
The weirdest part about any of this is that these guys probably felt that same emotion you felt when you first looked at porn alone, only while buying McDonald's Chicken McNuggets -- "what kind of sauce" *Giggles and runs all the way home*.
Forehead Sold For Ad Space
This was an extremely common theme when researching this list, but this one just kind of stuck out. There are plenty of people selling their bodies for ad space. Plenty.
One girl sold her back for $2,500 and had logos printed on her. A runner said he would wear a winning bidder's Twitter handle on his shoulder during a marathon where advertising was not allowed. An Australian Volleyball player is selling 0.8 x 0.8 inch piece of her left leg for $10,500, or for the big spender, they can buy a 1.9 x 1.9 inch piece of her right arm/shoulder for $52,490 and she will tattoo herself with a logo. This money will be used to get her into the 2012 Olympics. Those are all well and good, but this woman takes the cake. And the abuse.
Kari Smith had been doing her fair share of suffering: her marriage had ended and several family members passed away in a car accident -- both events occurred, unfortunately, at around the same time. After the accident and divorce her son began falling behind in school and Kari wanted to put him in a private school, but couldn't afford it. So, she went to eBay and offered her forehead as adspace. GoldenPalace.com then bid $10,000 and won Kari as their walking billboard for life. Even if they go under. Even if they stop being a company and even if for some reason the internet changes ".com" domains into something completely different in a few years.
She has that on her forehead. For life.
Golden Palace said they'd turned away several people offering to get tattoos of their company because it was always in places that could be covered up with clothes, but Kari's is and always will be in plain sight... even if she cuts bangs.
But hey, there's always really expensive effects makeup. But still. Her forehead.
Girl Sells Body For Homework
I always hated homework too.
Some guy found out that his girlfriend cheated on him, which sucks, so what did he do? The only rational and mature thing he could think of: he internet blasted her. Let me explain.
This guy had good reason to be irked, because not only did his girl cheat, but she cheated to get her homework(/self) done. She hooked up with an older classmate so that he would do her programming homework. All I ever got were platonic dates.
Jokes on her though because after the guy finally had sex with another human being, he lost all ability to be intelligent outright: when she turned in her homework and got it back she got a "C" on it.
So this boyfriend (now ex-boyfriend) blasted her story all over the internet along with her photo. The guy who got to have sex with this girl for C-level work, on the other hand, will probably grow up to be the richest man in the world some day.
Women Sells Ad Space On Her Pregnant Belly For Superbowl Tickets
Jennifer Gordon was eight months pregnant, a diehard Bears fan, desperate for tickets to Superbowl XLI, and entirely willing to auction of her pregnant belly in order to get to the big game.
An unusual ploy, but the whole operation panned out beautifully.
Gordon casually posted a creepy ad that feels vaguely like it belongs in the tawdry parts of craigslist.
The ad was titled "My body for Your Super Bowl Tickets", and got nearly 200 offers, many of them which she dubbed "X-rated" (which must have been shocking for all parties involved, because who would have expected that from the internet?)
She ended up choosing a Chicago based company called Ubid.com, and on game day, proudly wore an extra sexy belly shirt to show off the goods.
You've gotta give her credit for effectiveness... she she got seats on the 50 yard line, and she looks pretty damn in shape in those sweet kicks.
Sometimes, hot chicks, even pregnant ones, get whatever they want. And by sometimes, I mean every day. You should sign up to become one today!
Parent Sells Themselves On Craigslist to Pay Off School Debt
A Boston area parent posted an ad on Craigslist under "jobs wanted" with this title, "Do You Need A Live Cadaver? Take My Body."
Which is perfect and *exactly* like that joke from the new Louis CK CD (which you should 100% buy and support).
You might be wondering why she did this. Well, it was for a noble cause -- to pay off their kid's student loans which totaled out to about $200,000. The poster, who did not offer a name or gender but did offer up his or her body for anything "legal or medically experimental" went on to say, "if you eliminate my children's student loans, I will give you my life!"
Here's the thing, if someone has $200,000 in student loans they probably earned a pretty heft degree -- lawyer, doctor, scientist... can't they pay off their own loans with that kind of career? Maybe they got an art degree, but were out of state. I assume this is the scenario.
They said they were 5 feet 10 inches tall, 200 pounds and have all their "organs in working order."
"Take my blood, take my plasma. Drill into my brain, my leg, my arm. Tap my heart, my liver, my kidney, I am very very serious."
That is a committed parent. And a weird human being with very few problem solving skills and their heart in the right place... for now.
Girl Sells Her Body To Pay For School Fees
An 18-year-old Singaporean girl posted a picture of herself in a bikini in order to entice people to pay her...so she can pay her school fees. "I'm new here and need cash urgently. Brothers, please help me!" was was her plea, and her goal was $16,000. She was asking for $150 per hour, not including room charges and condoms. She also specified that clients would have to book and pay for the hotel rooms. She gave her measurements, class schedule, and phone number.
So, naturally a reporter from the Chinese Daily called "Amanda", she told him that she had been doing this "side job" for over two months and served 10 customers to date. She said that she slept with Singapore's Edison Chen, and Gary Ng, a guy who recently made the news for secretly filming his sex partners in bed. She probably would've charged more for that...
Girl Sells Sex In Exchange For iPhone
A Chinese college student offered herself up for an iPhone 4s, here's the twist—she's offering up months of service. I'm guessing this is a pay per month plan, offpeak hours, no data. For every month she has the phone, you get her vagina. Which is smart because iPhone data packages cost an arm and a leg (and a body, face, etc. apparently).
She offered this deal over China's "weibo" which is their version of a mircoblog, but what she didn't count on was her boyfriend finding out about this, which ruined everything for all the horrible, horrible human beings taking her up on this offer (and somehow getting their hands on an early iPhone 4S).
Really, who needs a boyfriend when you have an iPhone? They actually have an app for that.
Girls Sells Body, But Only For Branded Goods
A reporter trolled the personal ads of an Asian newspaper and found one girl who just wanted money for "luxury goods".
Not school, a dying parent or to support her family like most people doing this stuff, but so she could afford everything outlined in that one Kreayshawn song.
The reporter responded and the girl said she was looking for a sugar daddy to give her an allowance, and when the reporter offered $3,000 a month the girl said that was too little, but $4,500 was good which goes to show that if she just went into business she'd be making a killing. Luckily, this is exactly what she was doing, as the other conditions included meeting only on weekdays, cash only because she was only a 22-year-old girl studying for a business degree who refused to forego luxuries.
She also said that she had a health certificate to prove that she was not carrying any sexually transmitted infections (STIs). She added that using a condom was compulsory, but then she said it would be okay to go bareback if he showed proof that he was clean which probably means her medical reports often come back like Mr. Burns's.
She was cool to meet up right away and made it known that if anything happened payment came before play.
She had no qualms with agreeing to travel overseas, or appearing at social events, provided that expenses were taken care of, which means when she filled out the purpose of her travel as "pleasure" she probably smirked at least once.
When she was asked why she does this, she first stuck to the story that she needed the money for school but then she changed her tune and said she used the money to pay for her grandmother's medical bills, but then she said that she wanted the money to indulge in luxury goods, she said: "My parents don't know I'm doing this. It's a lifestyle I am used to."
She told the reporter that she has been hooking up with sugar daddies since she was 16 and has had two in the 6 years she's been "working".
And now, THIS:
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