Sam and Bill Steam Up The Shower
"I hear the water in Arkansas is very hard"... easily one of the greatest homoerotic lines ever uttered on this show. The whole conversation was an innuendo and the scene played out pretty much like the beginning of a really hot gay porn, which is really, other than the thought of Bill and Sam, what brings this item to the top of the list. Spoiler alert: it was a dream sequence (which didn't make it any less hot).
Anyone and everyone watching this episode was a little more than surprised to see Sam saunter over to the motel door and open it to find Bill shirtless and breathing heavily. We're getting the feeling that something is not quite right... until Bill begins to take off his pants and eyeballs Sam's lips repeatedly. Then it's confirmed. By the time they were bound for the shower together the answer was clear and jaws were on the floor. We rewound it...twice.
Eric Stabs Talbot in the Back
Well, you could say that Talbot really got f**ked in this episode. **rimshot** (no pun intended)
Though this goes well beyond subtle homoerotic-undertones and steam trains (wakwakwaka) into gay sex, the details were really there. Eric tells Talbot to turn over to which he responds "Yes Daddy!"
Season 3 Spoiler, but the reason this item is on this list:
This one makes it in just on the basis of being a visual double entendre. Not to mention a shocking, hilarious, somewhat heart wrenching and thoroughly bad ass kill. Also, even though Eric has been shown to exhibit some homoerotic tendencies with some straight characters, he's never been outwardly and openly gay, as he primarily lusts after women.
Jason Vogues, Dances for Lafayette
There’s nothing quite like a little "blackmale" to really heat up a romance. It’s a dom/sub fantasy that even finds its way into the PG world of the rom-com (please see The Proposal – really don’t – but do note that blackmail is the major plot theme).
There is something about Jason expressing his inner Madge (circa 1990) in his tighty whiteys that is both boyishly charming and erotically appealing. Perhaps it is his slow surrender to his burgeoning career as "America’s Next Top Web Cam Model." Or perhaps it is just his lick-o-licious abs attached to his "aw shucks sir, silly ol’ me is just prime for the taking advantage of meat" demeanor, but Jason and Laffy + camera spells = a Campbell's style ".mm, mmm good" emotion.
The Bill and Jason Bromance
"Was that, okay for you?" Oh, it was a lot more than "just fine" for us Jason. Ryan Kwanten, who plays Jason, has both stellar comedic timing and a raw sense of vulnerability that makes Jason one of the most compelling and fun characters to watch on this show.
Throw in a rock hard body from tip to toe and color us card carrying members of team Jason.
This scene has the all the best flavors of Jason: sweet, well-intentioned, vulnerable and helplessly, hopelessly dumb.
We love it. It also captures that tantalizing mix of awkward curiosity and embarrassment that sometimes occurs between two straight men when they are caught touching each other... and liking it.
Lafayette Peacocks for Eric
Laffy and Eric were one of True Blood’s greatest couples towards the end of season two.
They had chemistry, wit and a healthy dose of well deserved fear and animosity in the mix. Once Lafayette ingested Eric’s blood, the universal nature of the blood induced sex dreams came to the fore. Any time you put the words Eric, Nothman and sex together in a sentence, it works for us.
Yet prior to his hemoglobin induced wet dream, Lala felt it necessary to "present" to Eric in what we can only imagine is a Bon Temps mating ritual. This scenes works both as a great site gag, and as a humorously erotic moment between Lala and Eric.
Eric Kneels Before His King
Nothing says supplication or delicious quite like the site of Alexander Skarsgard, who plays the blond vampire Eric on the show, on bended knee.
This scene works for us on a few levels. First, it illustrates the all out, balls to the wall, "in your face viewer" joy ride of the ridiculous that True Blood tends to be.
As an audience member, Eric’s "bait and switch" with the King seemed to hail straight out of the archives of an old Scooby Doo episode. How was it that a vamp as old and savvy as Russell didn’t see what Eric (that pesky kid) was up to with his declaration of fealty? Particularly when it seemed almost painfully obvious to us sitting at home.
As the interplay between the two progressed one went from an eyebrow raise, to a quizzical look to all out laughter at (or with?) the scene. That is when you see some of the true genius of this show. Not only does it not have to make sense (because the fun is in the outrageous nature of the circumstance), but the crazy part is that eventually it does make sense. Knowing what we now know of Russell, it seems perfectly feasible that one suffering from such insane megalomania would be easily fooled when appealed to, given that level of Vanity.
Second, as someone who is accomplished at turning just about any statement into a sexual innuendo I really must in fact (metaphorically) kneel before Alan Ball as the master. One thousand years of torment and sorrow over the untimely and brutal death of your family? If there is a way to turn that into a blow job joke – Alan Ball will find it. And we love him for it.
L The List