L The List
- 1+ 11- 4
- 2+ 11- 5It was the chicken. The clucking chicken. I am not kidding when I tell you that we still hear it sometimes, clucking for no reason to itself up in the attic under a heap of old baby toys in a box. Also, sometimes, the squealing pig.
Cluck cluck cluck CLUCK! Cluck cluck cluck CLUCK! Cluck cluck cluck CLUCK! Cluck cluck cluck CLUCK!
- 3+ 10- 6Sure, elmo's voice is annoying. Now put its electronic version onto a toy that will activate by pressing buttons. (Little side note: babies love to press buttons. All the time. Over and over. ) Make sure that whatever buttons they have available to them are either not annoying, or not shrill, or not loud.
All the talking phones are bad. This particular phone puts them all to shame. Bonus horror: those eyes open when you flip the phone on.
- 4+ 9- 5Whee! Balls! Fun! You turn it on, the vacuum starts up and the balls come flying out the top. So many plastic balls! The baby loves it! Grab the balls, put them back in the slide, grab them when they come flying up! There goes one, skittering and rolling across the wood floors under the couch. And another! And another!
I am still finding those things whenever I move a bookshelf or pull back the couch. My chiropractor knows all about them from all time I needed my back snapped back into position from retrieving them from under everything.
- 5+ 7- 7This toy seems like such a good idea! Kids love mailboxes! Right? RIGHT?! So lets have a toy where they can pretend to have a mailbox. Only in this terrifying land of plastic mail, there is an electronic bee that sounds like a bag of gravel in a blender when activated. No problem, you think... we won't activate it. Guess what? Movement activates it. As in, someone walking across the floor nearby. Or vacuuming. Or, say, brushing it with your leg as you struggle with the diaper genie.BRURRRRRBRURRRRBURRRRRURURURURURURURURURURUBRUUUUUBRRRRRRR.
And it doesn't stop, for like, a full 30 second count. Enjoy!
I can still hear this sound as I type this. It's replaying in my head right now. And my son is now 9.
- 6+ 3- 5Perhaps our experience with this one was bad because of malfunction. Well, probably, yes. But it was also crazy. This thing has a couple of experiences when you press the buttons. One of them involves vibrating quite strongly. If you put this toy into a toy box - as one does - and you put another toy in said toy box with it - as one does - then you might wonder why there's a buzzing sound coming from the baby's room in the middle of the night for no reason. After investiagation, you will find that if another toy even touches one of these very sensitive buttons, it will vibrate. If the contact is sustained, it will continue to vibrate.
A vibrating toy amongst a box of electronic, motion activated toys is not something you want to deal with in the middle of the night. Or, well, ever.