- 1Up 7Down 3
Fisher-Price Elmo's World Talking Cell PhoneSure, elmo's voice is annoying. Now put its electronic version onto a toy that will activate by pressing buttons. (Little side note: babies love to press buttons. All the time. Over and over. ) Make sure that whatever buttons they have available to them are either not annoying, or not shrill, or not loud.
All the talking phones are bad. This particular phone puts them all to shame. Bonus horror: those eyes open when you flip the phone on.
- 2Up 6Down 2
Little Tikes Buzz About MailboxThis toy seems like such a good idea! Kids love mailboxes! Right? RIGHT?! So lets have a toy where they can pretend to have a mailbox. Only in this terrifying land of plastic mail, there is an electronic bee that sounds like a bag of gravel in a blender when activated. No problem, you think... we won't activate it. Guess what? Movement activates it. As in, someone walking across the floor nearby. Or vacuuming. Or, say, brushing it with your leg as you struggle with the diaper genie.BRURRRRRBRURRRRBURRRRRURURURURURURURURURURUBRUUUUUBRRRRRRR.
And it doesn't stop, for like, a full 30 second count. Enjoy!
I can still hear this sound as I type this. It's replaying in my head right now. And my son is now 9.
- 3Up 6Down 3
Little People Animal Sounds FarmIt was the chicken. The clucking chicken. I am not kidding when I tell you that we still hear it sometimes, clucking for no reason to itself up in the attic under a heap of old baby toys in a box. Also, sometimes, the squealing pig.
Cluck cluck cluck CLUCK! Cluck cluck cluck CLUCK! Cluck cluck cluck CLUCK! Cluck cluck cluck CLUCK!
- 4Up 5Down 2
101 Piece Play Food Assortment
- 5Up 5Down 2
Hasbro Playskool Busy Ball PopperWhee! Balls! Fun! You turn it on, the vacuum starts up and the balls come flying out the top. So many plastic balls! The baby loves it! Grab the balls, put them back in the slide, grab them when they come flying up! There goes one, skittering and rolling across the wood floors under the couch. And another! And another!
I am still finding those things whenever I move a bookshelf or pull back the couch. My chiropractor knows all about them from all time I needed my back snapped back into position from retrieving them from under everything.
- 8 +
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