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Walking Leather Handbag Puts 5 Year-Old in Tanning BoothFrom what I can tell, Patricia Krentcil's favorite thing to do is rub Nutella all over her face and head out in public. In May 2012, officials at her daughter's New Jersey kindergarten reported that the 5 year-old had a severe sunburn - one they suspected she got from a tanning booth. Police swooped in to rescue the girl and put her in her father's care while they charged Patricia, 44, with second-degree child endangerment.
In her defense, Krentcil says the kid got sunburned playing outside, but has never been in the tanning booth with her. Also in her defense, that child does look pretty pale. Lastly in her defense, if she keeps at it, she won't be around to set a terrible example for her child too much longer. So far, she has been banned from 63 tanning salons in the tri-state area.
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Grandparents Tow 7 Year-Old in Hot Wheels Behind SUVSARASOTA, Florida -- In April 2012, a deputy spotted a seven year-old wearing a swimsuit and no helmet riding in a Hot Wheels toy Pontiac. The toy car was tied to her grandparents' SUV trailer hitch with dog leashes. The kid's grandfather Paul Berloni (49) was up front, reeking of booze, laughing and riding and cornholing except Buster.
When a deputy pulled the caravan over and asked for Paul's license, he confessed - all red-eyed - that it had been "revoked for 10 years for a DUI." The deputy found the child's grandmother, Belinda Berloni (47), in the vehicle's cargo area with the rear hatch open. She had been cheering the little driver along as the she was being towed. She told the deputy that though they knew what they were doing was dangerous, it was also fun; they had been at it all day.
More about the grandparents of the year
Mom Bangs Her Biological SonSay what you will about teenage boys getting to bang their hot teachers - this one is just grody. A MILF is only a MILF as long as she's not your own mom.
In March 2012, Mistie Atkinson (32) pleaded no contest to charges of incest and oral copulation with a minor after she blew / had sex with her 16 year-old son. Yuck!
In Mistie's defense - in her defense - she hadn't seen him for a very long time. In case you aren't good at math, Atkinson was 16 when the kid was born. His dad had full custody of him for a cool 15 years before Mistie tracked him down on Facebook and started sending him "explicit images" of herself.
Napa, CA, police found videos on the boy's phone of Mistie (just a reminder: HIS MOM) performing oral sex and doing intercourse with him. I wonder who he planned to show those to...
More about the son f*cker
Lunatic Blinds Baby Daughter with BleachWhen a 14 month-old was airlifted to a hospital outside Washington in May 2011, doctors found that she had both a serious head injury and a severe eye infection. While her mother, Jennifer Mothershead (29) couldn't explain where the head injury came from, she said the eye problems started a few months earlier when the kid was playing in a barn. I don't know if you know this about barns, but they're full of dangerous items and substances, and maybe little babies shouldn't play in them unattended.
Anywho, Mothershead apparently had some eye drops for the infection. When a nurse opened them, she noticed that they smelled like something foul, something familiar, something hospital staff used to whiten whites, disinfect urine stains, and destroy AIDS: bleach. And yes, it turned out that the damage in the poor kid's eye was consistent with repeated exposure to bleach. And no, there was no way that the eye dropper had been merely cleaned with bleach.
Mothershead was charged with first-degree assault of a child and being a goddamn lunatic. The child, meanwhile, is blind in her right eye.
More deets on ol' bleach-eyes
Man Sews Up Son's ButtcheeksThis isn't actually as bad as it sounds, but this guy is still a total moron, so that makes him an awful parent.
Randy Swopes's son suffers from Crohn's Disease, which - if you've never heard of it - is a real bummer that you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. It's an autoimmune disorder that affects the digestive tract and bowels and just generally makes eating and ... eliminating the worst thing ever.
In June 2008, Randy's son, then 14, developed a fistula, which is "an abnormal tunnel connecting two body cavities that are not usually connected" - or, in this case, from a body cavity to the outside of the
buttbody. Rather than take the body to a doctor, Swopes did a little homesurging, sewing the fistula shut with a needle and thread.
And wouldn't you know it? The darn thing got infected. The boy was hospitalized for almost a month.
Swopes was charged with aggravated battery and sentenced to 24 months of probation.
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