Let's face it: basically everyone's old Myspace profiles are mega-embarrassing. The embarrassment only gets worse if you happen to be one of the lucky few to reach celebrity status before deleting your MySpace! Abandoned celebrity MySpace profiles take the world back to a time when society's favorite celebs were just as weird, goofy, and random as the rest of the population. Whenever you need a good laugh, peep these throwback Myspace profiles of some of today's biggest stars. The embarrassment is real.
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Tom Hardy was the Selfie King of Myspace back in the day—his page was chock-full of semi-nude photos with amazing captions like, "x i’m cooking a turkey yo x x." His profile stated he was on Myspace to find "serious relationships, friends, and networking" but his About Me section surely scared off any potential interests: "My head is like a dangerous neighbourhood I should never be in it without an appropriate adult. Left to my own devices I’ll crash the motor." The page, sadly, has been deleted.
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Taylor Swift's old Myspace profile is refreshingly real; she could've been just another one of your Top 8 BFFs in high school. Besides a handful of first-gen selfies with serious "Myspace angles," Swift was a hardcore commenter on other people's pages. The most embarrassing/amazing comment? “I read your complaining comment about how your not on abilgails top 8. well, how could you be? I’M THERE. TAKING YOUR SPOT HAHAHAHA (evil laugh, you know the drill). Well, anyway, listen my queer fellow, I thinketh we shall hangeth out sometime soon, eh? yes yes, i do believe i am growing fond of this idea. drive over in your sex van and come pick me up. farewell knave.” So. Much. Goodness.
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Harry Styles was just a baby when Myspace was all the rage. His profile was so innocent: his main picture was him and his parents, and he said the person he'd most like to meet is "SUPERMAN!!!" Heart = melted.
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Bow down to 2008 Kesha. The girl's Myspace page is gold! Here are the best gems:
Sounds Like: "god having an orgasm"
Record Label: "ur mom"
About Kesha: "I sometimes wish I was a man...it's all about the bjs and trash stache. Mick Jagger might be my dad. My music is rad. I'm f*cking rad. I'm taking over. Got a bullet with your name on it. $$$$$$"
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