Desperate Comment Interactions
You may want to get the interest of one of your Facebook buddies. Maybe you went on one date and then nothing's happened since. Or maybe you're just hoping that they'll finally agree to go out with you because of your charmingly flirty interactions.
Either way, you keep an eye out for status updates from your target and then do your best to reel them in. Whether the flirting is obvious or you try for an oh-so-casual comment along the lines of “You’re playing Call of Duty: Black Ops II this weekend? That’s so funny, me too,” these flirtation comment attempts are not as witty as you think they are.
If this person wants to go on a first date, or continue any kind of a romantic relationship with you, they'll let you know.
Otherwise, nothing you can say via a Facebook comment will change their minds. Keep it up and you'll just look like you're trying way too hard.
Following everything your date does on Facebook
Say you’re already Facebook friends.
After the date, you write a quick message saying how much you enjoyed it. So far, so good. But Facebook has decided to show you when your message has been read, so you know your date got it.
When there isn’t an immediate reply, you begin freaking out. You then start tracking everything he or she is doing on Facebook until they respond. Yes, it sounds crazy, but many people do it (both male and female). Starting to date someone you actually like is quite literally a hunt.
Looking at companies, places, restaurants, and movies that your date has liked, you decide to like a few of the same things.
After all, it shows your first date how much you have in common! Now when you have a second date, you'll have lots of things to talk about.
Of course, what's actually going to happen is that they'll see you liking everything they've liked, and you'll just get blocked and unfriended, and there will never be a second date. Ever.
Stalking your date's family
I know this is like .01% of you out there that would even consider this, and we all know you're not a part of that .01%. But let's pretend that you are anyway, shall we?
Say that you’ve restrained yourself and not ogled every photo or followed every status update or comment. There’s still another way to obsess over your first date’s profile. And this isn't over.
After all, there are so many other people that your date is connected to on Facebook: friends, family, classmates, and co-workers. You decide to reach out to some of them, telling yourself that there's nothing more natural than connecting with people on a social network. I mean, that's what they're for, right?
Except these are people who you have no other connection to besides a person you went out with once. There is no reason to friend them now.
Think about it this way: If this were real life, would you start popping up at the grocery store to try to run into your date’s mom, or ask how his cousin’s job search is going? If the answer is no (and the answer should be no), then don’t do it on Facebook. Especially after one date. They'll tell your date about your strange friend request. And that's when you get unfriended by your date.
Oversharing about your date on Facebook
You’re out on a first date and it’s going great. Better than any first date you’ve had possibly ever. Your friends would be so happy for you if they could see you right now. And wouldn’t it be nice to show that one classmate who ignored you in high school that you’re now living an exciting life, filled with expensive restaurants and romantic gestures, and they missed out by not going to prom with you?
Plus, this way your mother will see that you're doing fine living on your own, and you are meeting people, and she should stop trying to set you up with her dentist's kid.
To show everyone on Facebook how desirable you are, you decide to post a few details of your date. What your date was wearing. Where you went. How the movie was. You end up posting every single moment, step-by-step, until it’s like everyone reading your updates was on the date with you.
Hope having fodder for your Facebook feed this one time was worth it, because there's little chance your date will want to see you again.
Cause if you did this, you just did something super creepy. People who come on too strong are rarely the ones who make it to the second date.
Too Much Info About Your Ex on Facebook
You’ve gone on a wonderful first date and avoided all the other mistakes listed here.
Congratulations! Maybe you won’t die alone.
But WAIT, your Facebook profile still has tons of comments and updates about your ex.
How the sex was. How badly things ended. How much you still hate your ex. In fact, even as you're getting ready for this exciting first date, you can't resist posting another comment complaining about your former paramor.
Even if your ex was truly a horrible person whose ability to annihilate love and trust equals that of the Aztec deity Tezcatlipoca, destroyer of worlds, now your potential new relationship knows that hook-up details, arguments, and any other interactions are fair game for your Facebook wall.
So try and cut those out altogether and you should be ready to go out on a date with anyone of your choosing.
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