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Lamia Lunacy, Getting Dragged to Hell (Drag Me to Hell)«»This one's recent, but it's also very much the archetype for the traditional "Curse" movie. Right down to the vindictive old gypsy woman!
It all starts with such a simple setup:
So, you're Alison Lohman and you're life is pretty decent. You're dating the Mac guy, you've got a nice house in sunny California, and you've even got a job working at a bank in the middle of an economic crisis. You're perhaps a little too nice, and you've got some s**tty co-workers, but, I mean, c'mon, who doesn't?
So you start feeling the pressure from your boss to tow the company line, be firmer with the clientele, and this little old lady walks in the door. She's kind of gross, and kind of rough around the edges, and she needs your help to extend her loan payments (or something like that). It's one of those situations where you have to make a decision and you've got every reason to just say no. You know, to do your job. So you do.
Sure it's kind of a downer for the lady, but I'm sure she'll cope . . .right?
OH DEAR LORD WHY IS THIS CRAZY OLD bitch ATTACKING ME IN MY CAR AND SPITTING ALL OVER ME?!! WHY IS SHE RIPPING S**T OFF MY CLOTHES?!
So the old lady apparently never took anger management class, because she lays the mama of all movie curses on Alison Lohman's little blond head.
The curse works over three days, and summons (to make a Dogma Quote) "A F**king Demon" called The Lamia to torture you before finally, well, . . . dragging you down to hell kicking and screaming. If this doesn't seem like it's all that bad, well first off, then you haven't seen this awesome movie. Second, the torture involved is total. The girl from Flicka is subjected to both physical and psychological terror at pretty much any time of the day. She sees shadows crawl along walls and delicious meals resemble autopsy photos. Blood shoots out of her nose like a Double Dare set-piece. She can't sleep and is literally being driven insane with fear. When it's all said and done she then gets to keep doing all of this. Forever. In hell.
Worst of all, is that it's a nigh unstoppable curse to remove. This baby kills all hope, and it's only through some luck and a lot of determination that Ms. Lohman even gains a fighting chance at removing this, but even then, she get's a tiny window of opportunity. Three days? S**t. It takes me three days to work up the energy to write a stupid list on the internet, let alone try and do anything important like, you know, saving my immortal soul!
But why is this one at the top of the list? Well, because unlike most of the people to follow on the list, neither the poor girl nor anyone she knows actually deserves this level of punishment. She makes a decision that pretty much anyone else at her bank would have made (or at least we're given that impression early on in the film), so she pretty much just wins a F.U.B.A.R. lottery. For doing her job.
Which means that there's no real lesson here, other than maybe, "Be real nice to every old lady ever, or kill them before they can utter a single senile syllable."l< << PREV 1 of 10 NEXT >>
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