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NessAlright, this one’s cutting it close, and is easily the least bad seeing as Earthbound does kind of make a big deal about how much the main character, Ness (by default), misses his folks.
Heck, getting homesick is a status ailment!
It can only be cured by giving your mom a call and hearing her warm voice cheering you on in your quest to save the world from the forces of . . .
. . . what were the badguys in Earthbound again?
Oh yeah. Weird.
Ness definitely loves his mom and the game shows it. So he's definitely not ungrateful to her.
It’s his dad I feel for.
How much money do you think it costs to bankroll saving the world? Especially if you and your friends are saving it not from pollution, ninjas or a Bond Super villain, but from a gods-to-honest time traveling alien overlord!
Well if you’ve played any RPG, you know that the cost of saving the world is roughly equivalent to a LOT of f*ck-tons of metric sh*t-loads of moolah. Magical +1 Longswords of Slime Splitting and Mirrored Diamond Armor of Inscrutable Decision Making aren’t cheap ya know.
Gotta have that bling on if you want to save the world, yo!
So what happens when an RPG developer decides to bring some logic to the table and ensures that enemies don’t drop money? Especially doing it in 1994, way before it was cool?
Earthbound had a solution: for every monster killed/bully defeated/boss vanquished, your dad wired money into your checking account, which you could then be withdrawn at an ATM.
How did he know that you just succeeded in battle? I don’t know. If the game took place today I’m sure Ness and company would be tweeting all their little brawls, but the game clearly takes place in199X – as in some point in the 90’s.
Must've been on one of these badboys . . which again, who's paying for? That's right, dad!
How does he have literally hundreds of thousands of dollars to wire to his son? He must be working multiple top level jobs till he falls over in exhaustion!
Some dad's do it for their kids on world saving quests, others do it to pay for ponies.
But does Ness ever call his dad? Tell him he appreciates all the perfectly timed and constant no questions asked financial support?
Noooooo. What the hell Ness?
So I hope the kid is happy with peaking early, 'cause there's no way in hell his family's got the money to send him to college!l< << PREV 10 of 10 NEXT >>
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