Buy a bigger house
Microsoft is a big American company for people with big American houses and big American hands. Just like the original Xbox controllers that were too large for half the world to use, Microsoft seems oblivious to the space available to Europeans and Asians in their homes. The solution? Buy a bigger house dummy! It’ll be worth it when all those triple-A Kinect titles hit the market.
Buy new lights
You may remember all the fuss about Kinect use while seated. Basically, they never thought about gamers who play on the sofa. It seems that Microsoft has fixed this problem now, but come on. Who wants to sit while playing games when they could be standing up in a cavernous, well lit aircraft hangar?
Move your speakers/buy a new telly
The layout of your television speakers affects whether you play Kinect on top of or below your TV. If you get interference, just buy a new TV or speaker system. You might as well splash the cash. After all, you’ve already invested in a big house and new lights and as such, presumably no longer have a girlfriend or wife to anger with your extravagant purchases.
Move everyone out of the way
You've already seen the videos online of people hurting each other while playing, so move your friends out the way. I mean completely out of the way. Idealy they shouldn’t be on the camera but to be safe, just don’t tell your friends where your new house is. You don’t need them any more anyway, you have Kinect!
Change your wardrobe
You’ll have to wear clothes that Kinect can pick out from the background. Once again, Kinect gives you fun but makes you a better person too. Its Queer Eye insists you dress brightly, no more black t-shirts and dark gaming rooms for you tubby, time to fashionize!
*Note, apparently this is no longer an issue, so you don't need to buy new clothes. Just as well, you won't have any money left after all those great launch titles!*
Uh-oh, are you even Kinect ready?
Tidy your room
In case you think I’m biased….
There is no doubt that standing up in a barn with a stadium lighting system, wearing a neon tracksuit and playing your Kinect on your new TV and speakers without your friends is awesome. What could be more awesome though? Perhaps waving glowing neon sex toys to play a game almost indistinguishable from Wii sports.
"Put that back in mommies dresser where you found it or we'll send you back to the orphanage!"
One final tip: Microsoft has said that you want to put as much distance between you and the Kinect sensor as possible. I suggest serious gamers do just that.
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