Top 10 Reasons to Hate Matthew McConaughey

Yes, the man who refuses to wear a shirt has a clothing line. That’s like Hitler selling yarmulkes, or George Dubya giving out a PHD. Even worse is the name of his company: J.K. livin, as in "Just Keep Livin". Notice the lack of a "g", which makes it "cool".

Police were called about a noise complaint one night to find Mr. McC at his residence one night naked, playing the bongos and smoking marijuana. Even though it sounds like a fever-dream you once had, it was real.

He was arrested, and even smiled for his mugshots. Here’s where it gets stupid: instead of serving a mandatory minimum for the drug possession that he was charged with, he got off with a $50 fine for violating noise ordinance. By the way, this wasn’t in oh so liberal California, it was in Texas where they LOVE punishing criminal acts. It's probably the accent.

That's the same smile he'd probably give you while you walk in on him banging your prom date.

Every movie poster of his has him with the same dumb grin on his face. This wouldn’t be so bad, but after you finish watching one of his movies and feel like the last hour and a half was sucked out of you by a force only your ex-girlfriend could summon, it then seems like he’s mocking you. He knows that he just wasted your time, and he likes it.

McConaughey’s hair is sort of strange. It can go from looking like it was permed by a blind homeless butcher and then all of a sudden it looks rather good. The only consistent nature of his hair is that his beard always looks like s**t.

They're dark and stupid.

Go ahead, try and find a picture of Mr. McConaughey with a shirt on, buttoned up all the way. You don't, why? Cause he's always flexing and showing off his inexplicably dark nipples.

Even in most of his movie roles he can’t help but show off his chest...but maybe that’s the source of his hypnotic powers, his eyes of agamotto, so to speak. Hmmm...