Top 10 Reasons to Hate Matthew McConaughey By IHateEverything [37 more lists]

Matthew McConaughey is the lucky kind of guy that gets to have sex with tons of hot women, gets paid millions to act in shitty movies, doesn't really do anything great for society and somehow gets away with all of it. For those reasons and more, we hate his guts. Here is a detailed list of why you should too.

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1

He Has a Clothing Line

Yes, the man who refuses to wear a shirt has a clothing line. That’s like Hitler selling yarmulkes, or George Dubya giving out a PHD. Even worse is the name of his company: J.K. livin, as in “Just Keep Livin”. Notice the lack of a “g”, which makes it "cool".

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2

Police Dont Care if He Smokes Pot

Police were called about a noise complaint one night to find Mr. McC at his residence one night naked, playing the bongos and smoking marijuana. Even though it sounds like a fever-dream you once had, it was real.

He was arrested, and even smiled for his mugshots. Here’s where it gets stupid: instead of serving a mandatory minimum for the drug possession that he was charged with, he got off with a $50 fine for violating noise ordinance. By the way, this wasn’t in oh so liberal California, it was in Texas where they LOVE punishing criminal acts. It's probably the accent.

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3

His Hypnotic Smile

That's the same smile he'd probably give you while you walk in on him banging your prom date.

Every movie poster of his has him with the same dumb grin on his face. This wouldn’t be so bad, but after you finish watching one of his movies and feel like the last hour and a half was sucked out of you by a force only your ex-girlfriend could summon, it then seems like he’s mocking you. He knows that he just wasted your time, and he likes it.

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4

His Hair

McConaughey’s hair is sort of strange. It can go from looking like it was permed by a blind homeless butcher and then all of a sudden it looks rather good. The only consistent nature of his hair is that his beard always looks like s**t.

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5

Nis Nipples

They're dark and stupid.

Go ahead, try and find a picture of Mr. McConaughey with a shirt on, buttoned up all the way. You don't, why? Cause he's always flexing and showing off his inexplicably dark nipples.

Even in most of his movie roles he can’t help but show off his chest...but maybe that’s the source of his hypnotic powers, his eyes of agamotto, so to speak. Hmmm...

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6

Playing the Bongos Gets Him Laid

Matt, we're on a first name basis now, has stated on many occasions that he plays the bongos, but that it makes him about as much of a musician as he is an actor. We agree.

The bongos are like the triangle, technically they’re both instruments, but no one’s ever going to pay to see someone play them in concert.

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7

His Movies

Probably his worst indiscretion on this list is his long line of of his many, many shitty movies, and most of all his romantic-comedies.

On a rare occasion he has been known to muster up some talent for his role, but usually he plays the same damn character in every movie which is usually the same one he plays in real life; that of the supposedly lovable douche-bag.

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8

He Spreads Mono

Here is a short list of the women that McConaughey has dated: Ashley Judd, Sandra Bullock, Penelope Cruz, Janet Jackson, Salli Richardson, and his current girlfriend Brazilian model Camila Alves.

Then let’s also not forget how many dozens of women he’s made out with in movies, like Sarah Jessica Parker, Kate Hudson, and Jennifer Garner. Sure, he doesn't really have mono, but his list of hookups should piss you off anyway.

(Full list of hookups: http://www.ranker.com/list/matthew-mcconaughey_s-loves-and-hookups/celebrityhookups )

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9

He Thinks He is a Philosopher

Not too many people nowadays have a motto. Matt is one of the few that live by a personal credo that lead them through the tough times and into the good. What is the phrase that gets Matthew through his tougher days? “Just keep living” is the golden phrase that leads him. That’s right, one of his lines from ‘Dazed and Confused’ is the motto that he lives his life by, and if your brain just seized up, don’t worry, you’re not alone.

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10

He Clogs Up Lists

Every year Matthew McConaughey makes his appearance in magazines and websites in a multitude of lists, positive or negative. From ‘Hottest Guy’, to ‘Best Body’, to ‘Luckiest Son of a Bitch’, he is everywhere almost out of habit and is taking spots from other hard working people who deserve a little recognition.

Just think about this: right now you are reading yet another list about Matthew McConaughey, it can’t be stopped. From now on it should be unwritten law that Matt gets a ghost spot on whatever list he could potentially be on so that new, interesting, people can get the spotlight.

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