- 1Up 194Down 30First of all, how does Diane Lane NEVER age? THIS is a picture of her now. Seriously, what the hell.
Played: Superman's adoptive mom and Connie, the slutty mom/wife in her Oscar-nominated role in Unfaithful. She's played two hot moms!
Who would've thought that a movie about a chick cheating on her husband and banging the guy we all imagine our girlfriends and wives banging while they're out of the country would be nominated for an Oscar? Well apparently, the Academy wore out their screeners and have the stairwell scene permanently grafted onto their plasma televisions like most old people do the CNN bottom-screen scroller so badly that they just had to give it some kind of recognition.
Diane Lane plays quite possibly the sexiest role of her life in playing a complete MILF, which really says something about the longevity of her hotness.
I mean, Diane Lane still looks like THIS, THIS and THIS.
If you look as hot as those pictures when ten years ago you used to look like THIS (I was going to link you to another Diane Lane picture, but she really just doesn't age, so it'd be pointless cause she's actually gotten hotter with age, so HERE is a compilation of of her scenes from Unfaithful... dear God...), then you're really doing something right. Maybe she only eats wheatgrass and baby parts or something, but whatever it is, it's working and nobody should stop her, because Superman's hot-ass mom is going to be hot for however many movies they want to make out of that franchise moving forward.
- 2Up 113Down 47Played:Novalee Nation in Where the Heart Is
The wonderfully white-trashly (yes that is a word) named Novalle Nation is played by the beautiful Natalie Portman just barely post Phantom Menace (aka her "I'm legal now" breakout role) and really makes us all feel something that we didn't know was possible: the desire to date a pregnant woman.
Throughout the entire movie she plays a sweet, light-hearted girl who gets left at a Walmart pregnant (back when customer service was apparently at an all-time low) by that French-looking guy who's playing a bad guy or vampire in everything now and has a baby in there. When she leaves the Walmart and stops living there, the woman needs to find love and then we proceed to want to date Natalie Portman for the first time in her career since Mars Attacks.
The fact that Natalie Portman is one of the most beautiful and graceful human beings is what gets her such a high spot on this list, but what makes it even crazier is when our kids will read lists like these on the internet and have absolutely no idea what the hell we mean because Natalie Portman will be a real mom soon and will eventually play roles of hot moms of whatever younger, lamer stars come after her.
That's right, it's time for some "real talk" on this list.
Click HERE for the best roundup of roundups of Natalie Portman's hotness.
And now, in honor of her role in this movie, here are some pictures of Natalie Portman looking hot and pregnant... at the same time:
Click Here for a picture of Natalie Portman looking hot and starting to enjoy the kind of "upper body" that comes with being a soon-to-be mom in real life.
THIS is her looking really gorgeous at the Golden Globes, showing off her growing Golden Globes.
And HERE she is 100% showing and looking adorable with her classically winning smile.
HERE she is with, according to the person who wrote the article, "surprising" cleavage.
Much respect for this soon to be mother this time around.
- 3Up 101Down 60Played: The insatiably hot, desperate and over-sexed mother in Wedding Crashers
Jane Seymour is, and always will be, a MILF. She has kids in real life and every time she's in a movie plays someone who looks hot enough so that if they were your friend's mom, you would sacrifice that friendship for just one awkward afternoon with her.
In Wedding Crashers she plays Catherine, or "Cat" or "Kitty Cat" in what is probably the funniest scene in the entire movie. Click here for the scene where she strips naked and makes Owen Wilson feel her new breasts.
And as a bonus, here's another MILF role of hers from television (I know, I know, cheating) where she seduces that guy from Herman's Head:
- 4Up 101Down 67Played: Grendel's Mother in Beowulf
Sure, she's a snake creature that's also a God and an evil, evil antagonist of a woman who creates a disguting monster that terrorizes a town below throughout this entire (fully animated and motion-captured) film... but she looks just a topless Angelina Jolie.
Well, if you take the motion capture into consideration, she really just IS a topless Angelina Jolie. Only instead of showing her wacky parts, like they do in Hackers, Girl Interrupted and that other movie that's all about her making out with another girl through a chain-link fence (from what I've seen), they cover up her perfect bitches with scales because multi-million-dollar animated films apparently can't be "Rated R."
Click here for the best round-up of the hottest pictures of everyone's favorite MILF, Angelina Jolie, on the internet.
- 5Up 91Down 64Played: Lorraine, Marty McFly's Mom in Back to the Future
If it weren't for how iconic Anne Bancroft's Mrs. Robinson was, Lea Thompson would've earned the top spot on this list. Nobody didn't have a crush on Marty McFly's mom. Nobody.
She's that cute girl we all want, but she has a crazy crush on the guy in the movie we're supposed to be relating to. And THAT is a recipe for a lifelong crush on Lea Thompson, who portrayed this girl in a way that didn't make her seem dumb, just love-hungry. And it was awesome.
The sexually starved, eager and disturbingly willing mother of Marty McFly in Back to the F*ture comes on to Marty before she's his mother (the movie's about time traveling, you see.) When he inadvertently gets caught outside her house when it was supposed to be his dad, her affections turn toward him, with hilarious, yet weirdly sexual results.
She pines after him the entire movie, which leads to a lot of bad-girl-in-the-50s-who-wants-to-get-down-in-chinatown vibes coming from her the whole movie. She doesn't get naked, she doesn't do anyone and she doesn't do an extraneous dance number at any point. She's just the epitome of sexy cute and for that, millions of boys all over the world are thankful to Lea Thompson for exciting (and kind of confusing) them. Myself included.
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