L The List
Captain N: The Game MasterChildrenÂÂs cartoons have been glorified advertisements for toy ranges since He-Man came along, but Captain N took this to new levels. I mean really, can they do this? Is this not wrong? IÃ¢ÂÂm not the guy who demands that cartoons be educational. As long as kids learn that dropped anvils will flatten you into a concertina, explosions cover you in black soot and Acme is a poor supplier of goods and services then IÃ¢ÂÂm fine. Surely a half hour program of targeted marketing aimed directly at their receptive little minds will brainwash them though. WonÂÂt they grow up to buy Nintendo consoles and Mario games regardless of the fact that the company they loved has abandoned the hardcore fans who made them a success to pander to the casual gamers? Oh, wait..
Double DragonOne of the first and most innovative of the side scrolling beat em ups, Double Dragon is a bona fide classic. It contains all the ingredients for a violent adventure story: sibling rivalry, gang warfare and girls being punched in the stomach by punks. How can such a seedy, violent b-movie plotline be applied to a childrenÂÂs cartoon? Well, they could ignore the story, give them magic swords and masks and say ÂÂDragon a lot in the theme tune.
Dungeons and DragonsOk, so this oneÂÂs a cheat because itÂÂs based on a traditional RPG rather than a videogame. IÂÂve included it here because they never finished the series, a series about a bunch of teenagers trapped in a fantasy world that canÃ¢ÂÂt get home. That means theyre still trapped there. Forever.
They had chances to get home, but they always missed out to save a unicorn. Or help a friend. Or a doorway closed on them at the last minute. At least each time they learned a lesson. Then the show got cancelled. And now theyÂÂre trapped forever. The lesson? F**k helping people, when you get a chance to escape a nightmare world of dragons and mind worms you should curb-stomp any unicorn or cut the balls off any Dungeon Master who gets in your way!
Kirby: Right Back at Ya!IÂÂll admit, IÂÂve thrown you a curve ball with this one. This cartoon is actually pretty good. Intended for kids but with a few jokes thrown in for adults, the developers of the game had some say in the development of the anime. DidnÂÂt see that coming did you!
So that about wraps up this list. I hope you enjoyed it, the last entry shows that good childrens cartoons can be made out of videogames. The question is though, why bother? There are so many great games out there for kids. Take my advice, put on some Katamari Damacy or Mario Galaxy and forget about all this nonsense. Educate your offspring on great games and if you need to show them a cartoon, pick one with an original story and a great theme tune.
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